Blogs


Notices

turned it all around on me

Old 09-18-2009, 07:39 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 39
Red face turned it all around on me

I know it's the disease that causes AH to manipulate and turn everything around on me. I filed for divorce in June, he was served a month ago, and since then has sent me numerous messages asking for another chance, when that doesn't work it gets nasty and now he just says things like "even if I were a crackhead I am better than most guys" "you won't find better" "I am good Dad regardless", I know this is all ridiculous. I am just still surprised that he hasn't realized he has a problem and when he sends me nasty messages calling me names I put the drug "Roxie" in place of me and that's who he can blame, and try to manipulate. It's not working on me anymore, I just needed to get this out, been carrying it all week and I needed to put it down.
blusunflower is offline  
Old 09-18-2009, 07:45 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Keep moving forward. I remember the weight that was lifted when I finally realized
"I" wasn't to blame. From that point on, it was sorta like a game... I knew the blame
was coming... and I wouldn't accept it. We were still together at that point... but
it didn't take long for him to give up the game when it wasn't working anymore, and
we finally went our separate ways.

(((HUGS)))
rayofsunshine is offline  
Old 09-18-2009, 08:02 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 57,785
Originally Posted by blusunflower View Post
I just needed to get this out, been carrying it all week and I needed to put it down.
That's what we're here for, to walk beside you and share the journey.

I know that many times I just needed to start writing and let my thoughts take over. Often I surprised myself at what came out.

No need to carry it around anymore, you lighten the load anytime you share it.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
Old 09-18-2009, 08:02 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
URMYEVERYTHING's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Originally Posted by blusunflower View Post
I am just still surprised that he hasn't realized he has a problem and when he sends me nasty messages calling me names I put the drug "Roxie" in place of me and that's who he can blame, and try to manipulate.
I would take it a step further and block his messages/hang up the phone/walk away, etc. when he resorts to calling you nasty names, etc. Just replacing the names with Roxie still allows him to keep sending you the messages until you verbally or by action put up boundaries.

Block his messages if you are unable to delete them without reading them. Because subconsciously, even though we say it won't affect us, it still does when we read the messages and it eats away at us and we may react in a way we don't want to.

Also, don't be surprised by his actions. They are what they are. He's operating out of addict mode. Take him for what he is and work on yourself building boundaries around you to not have this person beat on your self esteem.
URMYEVERYTHING is offline  
Old 09-18-2009, 08:12 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
grateful rca
 
teke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
HI, i agree with the others. i'm not really surprized that he would be trying to contact you, you've probably been a life line to him. its sad that he hasn't realized that its his behavior that is causing him his troubles. keep moving forward, you are in my prayers.
teke is offline  
Old 09-19-2009, 05:04 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 39


Thank you for the replies. We go to court on this coming friday to bring him up on arrears bc he's paid nothing at all and he's getting desperate and basically begging me not to take him to court and that he's straight now, etc, etc, but someone just saw him 2 days ago and said he wouldn't even look them in the eye and didn't look straight....anywayyyyyyyy.....I keep reminding myself of the thread that said something like, "a person in recovery will have actions of recovery not words, just like an active addict has actions of using...etc.."
I still get sad...but am trucking along...
blusunflower is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:27 AM.