What can I do?
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
What can I do?
Hi everyone,
For some reason I'm a little afraid of joining in here, but I think I probably should.
I'm a recently recovering addict, just about 6 months clean. I have been involved with my significant other for 8 years, and we have been living together for 6. We built up a very serious addiction together during that time. He is at least as much of an addict as I have ever been. When I decided to quit, I detoxed through the aid of methadone for 10 days. It appeared my boyfriend was going to be doing the same thing, but he wound up staying on methadone for 5 1/2 months.
While he was taking it, I began to suspect that he had been using on top of it, if not regularly then at least occasionally. The evidence eventually became very obvious, but he did his best to try to lie about it. At some point, he admitted to having used again.
We went away to our beach house for the month of August, where plans were in place for him to detox at home. I was supportive, but I knew that this would have to be his road and something that I was powerless over. It was still hard for me to see him suffering like that, especially because we were together almost 24/7. Sleeping in a bed with someone who is detoxing is no fun. Eventually we slept in separate beds. Things were kept very calm, but it wasn't easy.
I'm a grateful member of NA, and I brought some NA pamplets and literature with me, which I passed on to him. I haven't been able to convince him to come to a meeting with me. He is pretty resistant to the whole thing. It took awhile for me to convince him that alcohol and all other drugs would have to leave the picture. He seemed to be getting the message, and for 2 1/2 weeks, he abstained from everything.
We came home after the trip a week ago, and, to my great disappointment, over the past few days I've had a gut feeling that he's been taking something again. I have no idea what it is or how to address the situation. I worry that I'm going to say too much if I ask him about it, and I worry that if don't say anything or if I say too little, all of this is going to keep going ahead like a train flying off the tracks.
I don't have any experience with being on this side of the coin. My addiction was a secret. I didn't grow up knowing addicts or alcoholics, except for my recovering alcoholic aunt (20+ years through AA), and I can't remember what she was like during her drinking days or how anyone in the family handled it. I don't really know anything formal about co-dependency, except I think my parents had a very co-dependent relationship. I don't have any experience with Alanon or Naranon. My own recovery has been my number one priority over these past months, so I've been putting all of my energy into that instead.
I live abroad, my boyfriend and I share a home, a business, a dog, everything together. I feel like he's standing on the fence right now and about to fall to one side or the other. I don't know if there's anything I can do to help my him. I don't know if there are things I could be doing to hurt his chances at taking recovery seriously. I guess I just don't know what to do, and I'm hoping that someone out there will be able to help me to understand what I should or shouldn't be doing, or what I can and can't do, and if there's anything in the world that I can do to help him to join me in recovery.
For some reason I'm a little afraid of joining in here, but I think I probably should.
I'm a recently recovering addict, just about 6 months clean. I have been involved with my significant other for 8 years, and we have been living together for 6. We built up a very serious addiction together during that time. He is at least as much of an addict as I have ever been. When I decided to quit, I detoxed through the aid of methadone for 10 days. It appeared my boyfriend was going to be doing the same thing, but he wound up staying on methadone for 5 1/2 months.
While he was taking it, I began to suspect that he had been using on top of it, if not regularly then at least occasionally. The evidence eventually became very obvious, but he did his best to try to lie about it. At some point, he admitted to having used again.
We went away to our beach house for the month of August, where plans were in place for him to detox at home. I was supportive, but I knew that this would have to be his road and something that I was powerless over. It was still hard for me to see him suffering like that, especially because we were together almost 24/7. Sleeping in a bed with someone who is detoxing is no fun. Eventually we slept in separate beds. Things were kept very calm, but it wasn't easy.
I'm a grateful member of NA, and I brought some NA pamplets and literature with me, which I passed on to him. I haven't been able to convince him to come to a meeting with me. He is pretty resistant to the whole thing. It took awhile for me to convince him that alcohol and all other drugs would have to leave the picture. He seemed to be getting the message, and for 2 1/2 weeks, he abstained from everything.
We came home after the trip a week ago, and, to my great disappointment, over the past few days I've had a gut feeling that he's been taking something again. I have no idea what it is or how to address the situation. I worry that I'm going to say too much if I ask him about it, and I worry that if don't say anything or if I say too little, all of this is going to keep going ahead like a train flying off the tracks.
I don't have any experience with being on this side of the coin. My addiction was a secret. I didn't grow up knowing addicts or alcoholics, except for my recovering alcoholic aunt (20+ years through AA), and I can't remember what she was like during her drinking days or how anyone in the family handled it. I don't really know anything formal about co-dependency, except I think my parents had a very co-dependent relationship. I don't have any experience with Alanon or Naranon. My own recovery has been my number one priority over these past months, so I've been putting all of my energy into that instead.
I live abroad, my boyfriend and I share a home, a business, a dog, everything together. I feel like he's standing on the fence right now and about to fall to one side or the other. I don't know if there's anything I can do to help my him. I don't know if there are things I could be doing to hurt his chances at taking recovery seriously. I guess I just don't know what to do, and I'm hoping that someone out there will be able to help me to understand what I should or shouldn't be doing, or what I can and can't do, and if there's anything in the world that I can do to help him to join me in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
This must be so hard for you. Your recovery must come first. have you ever heard the saying in NA, "They will get you to relapse before you will get them clean?" If you are living with an active addict who shares the same drug of choice as you, you are on very dangerous ground. There is NOTHING you can to do help him join you in recovery except be an example of what recovery looks like. Do not continue the dance of co-dependency. Make a plan and move out, live separately, and do not even entertain this relationship until he is clean. Maybe he needs inpatient treatment. You were lucky that you didn't but its no crime either and is very helpful - but entirely his decision.
I know 8 years and a woile life is not something one can walk away from easily, but if you truly are putting your recovery first, you know what you need to do, don't you? Now I truly believe God can do anything, and I truly believe God's will is for all us addicts (I'm 5 years clean myself) to get and stay clean, but the disease of addiction has a will of its own. Ask yourself how much time you are spending on worrying & thinking about his recovery, not to mention trying to force it or manipulate it - vs. how much time on your own life, own recovery? Be honest, or try to be. If this relationship is meant to be, he will also enter into recovery with everything in his being. He will not have to be forced or cooerced. People do live a life of recovery together, but so far that is not what you two are doing. (BTW I'm here on this forum because I have an addict daughter - my own husband is not an addict)
I know 8 years and a woile life is not something one can walk away from easily, but if you truly are putting your recovery first, you know what you need to do, don't you? Now I truly believe God can do anything, and I truly believe God's will is for all us addicts (I'm 5 years clean myself) to get and stay clean, but the disease of addiction has a will of its own. Ask yourself how much time you are spending on worrying & thinking about his recovery, not to mention trying to force it or manipulate it - vs. how much time on your own life, own recovery? Be honest, or try to be. If this relationship is meant to be, he will also enter into recovery with everything in his being. He will not have to be forced or cooerced. People do live a life of recovery together, but so far that is not what you two are doing. (BTW I'm here on this forum because I have an addict daughter - my own husband is not an addict)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: South Africa
Posts: 34
Hi Steppingitup!! Welcome, Im also new here and from my experience, you will certainly have great support.
My story and experience is different from yours, but one thing you highlighted " isMy own recovery has been my number one priority over these past months, so I've been putting all of my energy into that instead."
The key word is MY OWN RECOVERY! By doing what you need to do and attending meetings will help YOU so much. I hope you have a sponsor too, to ensure that you do the Step work and stay dedicated. to that. During your period of recovery it will be very easy to get distracted by your boyfriend, and can lead you to relapse.
The one thing I know, is that my partner had to change his WHOLE life around to start the process of recovery. He left behind the friends that drank, he left his drug buddies he deleted his suppliers numbers from his phone and stopped going to pubs, clubs that he was going to. This also means you should be aware of the situation you may be in too. You will find it difficult to stay on the road to recovery! 6 months is a great start and by setting a good example, setting boundries, keep to your meetings, reading the literature, see a sponsor etc... your boyfriend might raise his eyebrow and see you are focusing on getting better.
Remember if he doesnt want help he will go back and forth trying to please you!
Keep on posting!!
My story and experience is different from yours, but one thing you highlighted " isMy own recovery has been my number one priority over these past months, so I've been putting all of my energy into that instead."
The key word is MY OWN RECOVERY! By doing what you need to do and attending meetings will help YOU so much. I hope you have a sponsor too, to ensure that you do the Step work and stay dedicated. to that. During your period of recovery it will be very easy to get distracted by your boyfriend, and can lead you to relapse.
The one thing I know, is that my partner had to change his WHOLE life around to start the process of recovery. He left behind the friends that drank, he left his drug buddies he deleted his suppliers numbers from his phone and stopped going to pubs, clubs that he was going to. This also means you should be aware of the situation you may be in too. You will find it difficult to stay on the road to recovery! 6 months is a great start and by setting a good example, setting boundries, keep to your meetings, reading the literature, see a sponsor etc... your boyfriend might raise his eyebrow and see you are focusing on getting better.
Remember if he doesnt want help he will go back and forth trying to please you!
Keep on posting!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Nice to meet you and Congratulations on 6 months clean!
Read the sticky posts at the top of this forum and learn all you can
about enabling/setting boundaries.
You are moving forward making your life better... your BF may join you or he may get left behind. No matter what happens with him, keep your focus on making YOUR life better.
Keep reading and posting!
Read the sticky posts at the top of this forum and learn all you can
about enabling/setting boundaries.
You are moving forward making your life better... your BF may join you or he may get left behind. No matter what happens with him, keep your focus on making YOUR life better.
Keep reading and posting!
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
welcome and congratulations on your 6 months. your story sounds a lot like mine. i'm a recovering addict married but now separated from my active addicted husband of 23yrs. i came here asking what could i do to help my husband get sober and stay sober. i quickly found out that i couldn't help him, he had to help himself and that all i could do was to continue to focus on my own recovery. we also built up a serious addiction together. i reached my bottom and he's still yet to find his.
i'm at 7yrs now and have been in quite a few rehabs and detoxes, i kept relapsing partly because i just didn't want to separate myself from my using husband and he obviously according to his action, was not ready to quit.
sure he said he wanted to but his actions told a different story. i believe he would say and sometimes do whatever he thought he needed to in order to keep me holding on so he could continue his drug use. both of us using was just too destructive. he even went to rehab with me but soon after, he would secretly start up again leaving me focusing on him and his actions instead of my own.
i agree that his actions could be dangerous to your sobriety. do what you can to save yourself, let him figure his own way out. like someone said earlier, i do believe its easier for him to pull you down than it is for you to lift him up. i almost lost my sanity trying. your stepping back a little may be what will cause him to have that strong desire to seek help and follow through to yrs of sobriety.
i'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
i'm at 7yrs now and have been in quite a few rehabs and detoxes, i kept relapsing partly because i just didn't want to separate myself from my using husband and he obviously according to his action, was not ready to quit.
sure he said he wanted to but his actions told a different story. i believe he would say and sometimes do whatever he thought he needed to in order to keep me holding on so he could continue his drug use. both of us using was just too destructive. he even went to rehab with me but soon after, he would secretly start up again leaving me focusing on him and his actions instead of my own.
i agree that his actions could be dangerous to your sobriety. do what you can to save yourself, let him figure his own way out. like someone said earlier, i do believe its easier for him to pull you down than it is for you to lift him up. i almost lost my sanity trying. your stepping back a little may be what will cause him to have that strong desire to seek help and follow through to yrs of sobriety.
i'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Thank you all so much for the warm welcome.
Writing that first post was surprisingly hard! Please excuse my slow response time; processing what you wrote and writing this reply have been hard too. I think this whole situation makes me a little more sad and confused that I might care to admit.
Just in case anyone missed the memo, all it takes is one time for that train to hurdle out of control. My guess was that my boyfriend had started taking a small amount of something just a handful of days ago, almost to the degree where I couldn’t tell, but every day since then it’s been becoming more obvious. I know the signs. Been there, done that. It’s so sad to see him spiraling back into it.
I checked out Naranon on the web looking for online versions of their pamphlets and other materials (NA has theirs in pdf form for free), but it looks like the only way one can read them is by going to a meeting or ordering them online. I live in Italy, and from what I can tell from the site, there are no Naranon meetings in this whole country. I would really prefer not to have Naranon on my credit card statements either (they arrive at my family’s house, and no one knows about these issues; if they did, I am very sure they would flip out). I’m not really sure how I could get copies of the materials. Even Cliff's Notes-type versions would help. Does anyone know if there’s another source that shares this literature online?
Considering the circumstances, I don’t think I’ve been overwhelmingly distracted from my own priorities in recovery from my own addiction, but certainly there are times when I just worry about him. I worry because I care about his well being, and then I worry because if he doesn’t get better, I’ll have to leave, and I don’t feel ready to start a whole new life yet. To a large degree, I guess my approach to all of this has been to 1) keep things calm, 2) try to support his understanding and potential journey into recovery if he’s willing to take any steps forward, 3) accept that I can’t do this for him, 4) lead by example, and 5) for the most part, to try to ignore the rest of the details related to his active addiction because I need to stay focused and sane enough to keep taking care of myself. I am here and have been available to help, I want to help, but it’s like praying for a miracle.
I’ve heard vague references about 12-steppers calling on other addicts to talk to them – I don’t know if I’m getting that right or how one would go about organizing something like that. I know I wouldn’t be able to do something of that nature because I’m too close to him. Maybe I should talk to some guys in my home group about that if this situation continues. I wonder if any of you have had experience with this?
It has been very clear to me from the beginning that living with another addict, I would have to do my best to prepare myself for any sort of situation that might arise, including the half-unimaginable ones. I was conscious that there could be risks involved in staying. I tried weighing my options, and from the perspective of where I’ve been, it has appeared that keeping some degree of stability in my life has been a better option than having to start a completely new one right away. I wouldn’t know how to do that yet. I’m not ready to change my whole world. I guess I feel sort of lost between these two ideas that sound conflicting. On the one hand, the message, “you’ll relapse before you get him clean,” and on the other hand, “no major changes in the first year of recovery.”
As for the rest, I completely agree that there is one place that requires more of my attention than anything else in the world right now, and that is my recovery. To answer your questions, I do have a sponsor with 18 years of clean time, I'm working the steps, I bike almost an hour to get to my meetings, which I attend regularly, I use online meetings on days when face to face meetings aren't available, I listen to speaker tapes and anything else I can get on recovery , and I participate on the substance abuse boards here at SR. Something inside of me did a complete turn-around when I stopped using, and my heart and mind are in a very different place then they were 6 months ago. I also lost the desire to use, which was an absolute miracle, and it’s probably a big factor in helping me to stay clean despite whatever it is my boyfriend has been doing. He hasn’t been doing anything in front of me, but I have been too close for comfort on a few occasions. I didn’t want to use, but my body responded by getting physically sick then, even going so far as overwhelming nausea that has me toss my cookies.
The biggest issue with my position in this is that although I am in recovery, I know I'm still in the beginning of a long process, and I don’t know how to leave yet. I still need to learn how to live life like a proper adult. While I used to be able to carry on tremendous responsibilities and function as healthy young adults do, I lost so much of that in my using. If I were to leave, it would probably mean going back to my family in the states, and I’m really not ready for that yet. I have too many resentments I still need to deal with. I don’t even know how to write a proper resume to get a new job, which is funny since I co-own our business here. I haven’t had to write a resume in seven years.
For now I’m just trying to take care of things one day at a time. The fact is that I have accepted that if things don’t get better with my boyfriend as I continue to recover and grow, I will have to move on. I just don’t feel like I can yet. The romance hasn’t been there for a long time. Heck, neither one of us had been completely present for most of this relationship. Now that the smoke and mirrors have been clearing away for me, I can see just how possessed he is by this disease right now. I don’t know if I even know who he is anymore. He lies all the time so he can keep his using going. There has been nothing physical between us for a very long time. It’s so sad too, he has always been someone with incredible heart and loyalty, he has pampered me since day one, and he’s incredibly talented at what he does.
It appears that he has agreed to drive me to my home group tonight, which is something he has never been willing to do before. I’m not sure if he will follow through or if he will even get out of the car, but maybe it means he’s curious to see where the meetings take place. I’m not going to let my hopes get too high, but I would be thrilled to see him taking any steps whatsoever at this point. We shall see.
Writing that first post was surprisingly hard! Please excuse my slow response time; processing what you wrote and writing this reply have been hard too. I think this whole situation makes me a little more sad and confused that I might care to admit.
Just in case anyone missed the memo, all it takes is one time for that train to hurdle out of control. My guess was that my boyfriend had started taking a small amount of something just a handful of days ago, almost to the degree where I couldn’t tell, but every day since then it’s been becoming more obvious. I know the signs. Been there, done that. It’s so sad to see him spiraling back into it.
I checked out Naranon on the web looking for online versions of their pamphlets and other materials (NA has theirs in pdf form for free), but it looks like the only way one can read them is by going to a meeting or ordering them online. I live in Italy, and from what I can tell from the site, there are no Naranon meetings in this whole country. I would really prefer not to have Naranon on my credit card statements either (they arrive at my family’s house, and no one knows about these issues; if they did, I am very sure they would flip out). I’m not really sure how I could get copies of the materials. Even Cliff's Notes-type versions would help. Does anyone know if there’s another source that shares this literature online?
Considering the circumstances, I don’t think I’ve been overwhelmingly distracted from my own priorities in recovery from my own addiction, but certainly there are times when I just worry about him. I worry because I care about his well being, and then I worry because if he doesn’t get better, I’ll have to leave, and I don’t feel ready to start a whole new life yet. To a large degree, I guess my approach to all of this has been to 1) keep things calm, 2) try to support his understanding and potential journey into recovery if he’s willing to take any steps forward, 3) accept that I can’t do this for him, 4) lead by example, and 5) for the most part, to try to ignore the rest of the details related to his active addiction because I need to stay focused and sane enough to keep taking care of myself. I am here and have been available to help, I want to help, but it’s like praying for a miracle.
I’ve heard vague references about 12-steppers calling on other addicts to talk to them – I don’t know if I’m getting that right or how one would go about organizing something like that. I know I wouldn’t be able to do something of that nature because I’m too close to him. Maybe I should talk to some guys in my home group about that if this situation continues. I wonder if any of you have had experience with this?
It has been very clear to me from the beginning that living with another addict, I would have to do my best to prepare myself for any sort of situation that might arise, including the half-unimaginable ones. I was conscious that there could be risks involved in staying. I tried weighing my options, and from the perspective of where I’ve been, it has appeared that keeping some degree of stability in my life has been a better option than having to start a completely new one right away. I wouldn’t know how to do that yet. I’m not ready to change my whole world. I guess I feel sort of lost between these two ideas that sound conflicting. On the one hand, the message, “you’ll relapse before you get him clean,” and on the other hand, “no major changes in the first year of recovery.”
As for the rest, I completely agree that there is one place that requires more of my attention than anything else in the world right now, and that is my recovery. To answer your questions, I do have a sponsor with 18 years of clean time, I'm working the steps, I bike almost an hour to get to my meetings, which I attend regularly, I use online meetings on days when face to face meetings aren't available, I listen to speaker tapes and anything else I can get on recovery , and I participate on the substance abuse boards here at SR. Something inside of me did a complete turn-around when I stopped using, and my heart and mind are in a very different place then they were 6 months ago. I also lost the desire to use, which was an absolute miracle, and it’s probably a big factor in helping me to stay clean despite whatever it is my boyfriend has been doing. He hasn’t been doing anything in front of me, but I have been too close for comfort on a few occasions. I didn’t want to use, but my body responded by getting physically sick then, even going so far as overwhelming nausea that has me toss my cookies.
The biggest issue with my position in this is that although I am in recovery, I know I'm still in the beginning of a long process, and I don’t know how to leave yet. I still need to learn how to live life like a proper adult. While I used to be able to carry on tremendous responsibilities and function as healthy young adults do, I lost so much of that in my using. If I were to leave, it would probably mean going back to my family in the states, and I’m really not ready for that yet. I have too many resentments I still need to deal with. I don’t even know how to write a proper resume to get a new job, which is funny since I co-own our business here. I haven’t had to write a resume in seven years.
For now I’m just trying to take care of things one day at a time. The fact is that I have accepted that if things don’t get better with my boyfriend as I continue to recover and grow, I will have to move on. I just don’t feel like I can yet. The romance hasn’t been there for a long time. Heck, neither one of us had been completely present for most of this relationship. Now that the smoke and mirrors have been clearing away for me, I can see just how possessed he is by this disease right now. I don’t know if I even know who he is anymore. He lies all the time so he can keep his using going. There has been nothing physical between us for a very long time. It’s so sad too, he has always been someone with incredible heart and loyalty, he has pampered me since day one, and he’s incredibly talented at what he does.
It appears that he has agreed to drive me to my home group tonight, which is something he has never been willing to do before. I’m not sure if he will follow through or if he will even get out of the car, but maybe it means he’s curious to see where the meetings take place. I’m not going to let my hopes get too high, but I would be thrilled to see him taking any steps whatsoever at this point. We shall see.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
I'll pray he gets out of the car and goes in the meeting with you tonight!
You sound focused and have thought things out. I think you are doing whats
best for YOU now, and if he chooses to get into recovery, you'll be a great
support, and if not, you'll be able to walk away when the time comes when
you can no longer deal with it. Keep working on you, and the strength you
need will be there no matter what comes your way.
The only other thing I thought of was to protect your finances as much as possible
when he's actively using. (In desperation, he could go through alot of $$ in a short
amount of time.)
Keep posting. You'll get so much support and encouragement here!
You sound focused and have thought things out. I think you are doing whats
best for YOU now, and if he chooses to get into recovery, you'll be a great
support, and if not, you'll be able to walk away when the time comes when
you can no longer deal with it. Keep working on you, and the strength you
need will be there no matter what comes your way.
The only other thing I thought of was to protect your finances as much as possible
when he's actively using. (In desperation, he could go through alot of $$ in a short
amount of time.)
Keep posting. You'll get so much support and encouragement here!
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi SteppingItUp,
Sorry for your troubles, hope things work out better for you today.
Here is a link that has the various pamphlets online in text form. Best wishes!
NAR-ANON NEWFOUNDLAND
Regards,
RR
Sorry for your troubles, hope things work out better for you today.
Here is a link that has the various pamphlets online in text form. Best wishes!
NAR-ANON NEWFOUNDLAND
Regards,
RR
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Although Alanon is for friends and families of Alcoholics, many times those with addicted loved ones attend it when no naranon meetings are available. Addiction is addiction and besides, the focus will be on you and not fixing him.
Looks like there are some Alanon meetings in the Tuscany area (my very favorite region of Italy!) Perhaps this may help?
Wishing you all the best. Keep reading here; it helps a lot!
Al-Anon/Alateen · informazioni sulle riunioni
Gruppo Al-Anon Europa
Via San Maimante, 44 - c/o Cemtro Commerciale Coop
50053 Empoli (FI)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon La Farfalla
Via delle Mimose, 14 - c/o Chiesa della Beata Vergine Maria delle Grazie
50142 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: mercoledi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon La Magnolia
via Rucellai, 9 - Chiesa Anglo Americana - St. James Church
Firenze (FI)
riunioni: martedi ore 17.15
5 minuti a piedi dalla stazione di S.M.Novella Lato Scale
Gruppo Al-Anon La Magnolia
Via dell'Arcolaio - cancello verde dopo il n 2° C/O ASL
50125 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: venerdi ore 18.00
Bus N° 6 e N° 20
Gruppo Al-Anon Rucellai
P.za S. Salvi, 4 - c/o Centro Anziani
50135 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: martedi e giovedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon [email protected]
Via B. Rucellai, 9 - c/o St.. James Church
50123 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: giovedi ore 19.30
Provincia di Grosseto
Gruppo Al-Anon Via della Speranza
Via Del Cassarello, 46 - c/o La Ginestra
58022 Follonica (GR)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
riunioni momentaneamente sospese
Provincia di Lucca
Gruppo Al-Anon Rinascita
Viale Puccini 38 - Cortile della Parrocchia S.Anna
55100 S. Anna - Lucca (LU)
riunioni: giovedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon L'Ancora
Via Matteotti, 35 - c/o Convento Servi Di Maria - Chiesa S. Andrea
55049 Viareggio (LU)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Pisa
Gruppo Al-Anon San Giuseppe
L.go Petrarca, 2 - c/o Circoscrizione 5
56127 Pisa (PI)
riunioni: lunedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Prato
Gruppo Al-Anon Il Messaggio
Via A. Diaz, 15 - c/o Convento Frati Cappuccini
59100 Prato (PO)
riunioni: giovedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Pistoia
Gruppo Al-Anon La Liberazione
P.za Armeni, 14 - c/o Convento Capuccini
51100 Pistoia (PT)
riunioni: mercoledi ore 21.00
19.09.2009 03:48:39
Looks like there are some Alanon meetings in the Tuscany area (my very favorite region of Italy!) Perhaps this may help?
Wishing you all the best. Keep reading here; it helps a lot!
Al-Anon/Alateen · informazioni sulle riunioni
Gruppo Al-Anon Europa
Via San Maimante, 44 - c/o Cemtro Commerciale Coop
50053 Empoli (FI)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon La Farfalla
Via delle Mimose, 14 - c/o Chiesa della Beata Vergine Maria delle Grazie
50142 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: mercoledi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon La Magnolia
via Rucellai, 9 - Chiesa Anglo Americana - St. James Church
Firenze (FI)
riunioni: martedi ore 17.15
5 minuti a piedi dalla stazione di S.M.Novella Lato Scale
Gruppo Al-Anon La Magnolia
Via dell'Arcolaio - cancello verde dopo il n 2° C/O ASL
50125 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: venerdi ore 18.00
Bus N° 6 e N° 20
Gruppo Al-Anon Rucellai
P.za S. Salvi, 4 - c/o Centro Anziani
50135 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: martedi e giovedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon [email protected]
Via B. Rucellai, 9 - c/o St.. James Church
50123 Firenze (FI)
riunioni: giovedi ore 19.30
Provincia di Grosseto
Gruppo Al-Anon Via della Speranza
Via Del Cassarello, 46 - c/o La Ginestra
58022 Follonica (GR)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
riunioni momentaneamente sospese
Provincia di Lucca
Gruppo Al-Anon Rinascita
Viale Puccini 38 - Cortile della Parrocchia S.Anna
55100 S. Anna - Lucca (LU)
riunioni: giovedi ore 21.00
Gruppo Al-Anon L'Ancora
Via Matteotti, 35 - c/o Convento Servi Di Maria - Chiesa S. Andrea
55049 Viareggio (LU)
riunioni: martedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Pisa
Gruppo Al-Anon San Giuseppe
L.go Petrarca, 2 - c/o Circoscrizione 5
56127 Pisa (PI)
riunioni: lunedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Prato
Gruppo Al-Anon Il Messaggio
Via A. Diaz, 15 - c/o Convento Frati Cappuccini
59100 Prato (PO)
riunioni: giovedi ore 21.00
Provincia di Pistoia
Gruppo Al-Anon La Liberazione
P.za Armeni, 14 - c/o Convento Capuccini
51100 Pistoia (PT)
riunioni: mercoledi ore 21.00
19.09.2009 03:48:39
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Hi Stepping. It's good to see you over here. 
I just wanted to say that I am in somewhat similar situation. I am not an addict myself, but have been with my bf for 9 years and we also own a business together and have lived together for about 7 years. Your living arrangement sounds a lot like mine. I just want to say that as long as you feel strong in your own recovery, take your time figuring out what you need to do. I would never suggest you doing anything that is not in your best interest or that would have you risking your own recovery... I know how hard it is to do what you've done for yourself. But, I also know that it takes time to get your heart to catch up to your brain when you KNOW what you should do, but it hurts so bad to actually do it. When I first came here, everyone kept telling me to do what's best for me and I felt that if I didn't just dump him and run immediately that I was doing something wrong. When your life is so entwined with someone else's, leaving is not just about them. It's about starting a new life for yourself which can be scary in so many ways.
I hope your bf finds recovery as you did. You seem like a really nice person and i wish you the best. Take care of yourself!
I just wanted to say that I am in somewhat similar situation. I am not an addict myself, but have been with my bf for 9 years and we also own a business together and have lived together for about 7 years. Your living arrangement sounds a lot like mine. I just want to say that as long as you feel strong in your own recovery, take your time figuring out what you need to do. I would never suggest you doing anything that is not in your best interest or that would have you risking your own recovery... I know how hard it is to do what you've done for yourself. But, I also know that it takes time to get your heart to catch up to your brain when you KNOW what you should do, but it hurts so bad to actually do it. When I first came here, everyone kept telling me to do what's best for me and I felt that if I didn't just dump him and run immediately that I was doing something wrong. When your life is so entwined with someone else's, leaving is not just about them. It's about starting a new life for yourself which can be scary in so many ways.
I hope your bf finds recovery as you did. You seem like a really nice person and i wish you the best. Take care of yourself!
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