Our visit with Chris
 

Really saddens me that the people in the mental areas don't let these guys shave......Kim had brought an electric shaver in and they haven't given it to Chris yet....so he's a hairy guy right now. But~~the visit went OK. I was so sad about seeing him and afraid of what was going to be talked about but we did fine. Chris knows he messed up, needs rehab and long term to fight this time. I'm just hoping he means what he says. He said he would have understood if i hadn't wanted to see him. I know he needs support but its going to be a thinking process this time instead of mom running with everything I think he needs.......This is his journey and I know I can let him do it himself...I have to. They are looking into his VA insurance and almost know he will be placed somewhere so thats a plus......thank you HP for that~~and you guys for being so supportive for me...Nighty-nite.

Bonnie, I'm glad your visit went okay and that you were able to stand back a bit and let him make his decisions. I know it is terribly disappointing and I understand your anger...I'm sure he is shamed and beating himself up enough for everyone, so it's probably a relief to know that you and Kim can focus on taking care of yourselves and supporting each other and your husband. Chris knows he is loved and is probably relieved that you are not relapsing with him. When Kristen was struggling and I was attending Naranon, she told me that one thing that helped her feel better was knowing that I was getting help. The guilt and shame she felt about the hurt she saw in family members and loved ones was really strong...Knowing I was working my own recovery helped her to focus where she needed to as well.

Lots of hugs and more prayers for all of you. Now is the time to be especially gentle with yourself, okay?

"I hope he means what he says..."

yeah, that's really the thing, isn't it? Even when they mean it, the disease can snatch away all that clarity in a heart-beat. BUT, God is greater, as long as the addict has a little bit of willingness, at least that's my experience. So we all take it one day at a time and keep praying. :praying