katie44

AS has been staying with a christian family not to far from us. he has been there for a week, the week before he was in detox. He is waiting to go in to a one year program. he called this morning and asked if we would like to go to the park with the dog I said no. We have been tring to keep our distance. Doesnt he show up here with the gentlemen he is staying with. Turns out he went to a friends house today to pick-up some of his clothes and pictures. brought them to my house to store them. I should have told him to leave but I was uncomfortable as he was with this man. Guess what i was doing when they showed up cleaning my storage room out that he has ransacked through. found lighters , crack pipes etc. All my boxes that were neatly packed are a nightmare. He came in here with the same crappy attitude that we owe him something. Proceeded to whine about everything, and then tried to embarass me in front of this man by saying we never spend any time with him. did he play it up! I see no change in him at all rude and cocky. i hate to say it but i cant stand being around him at all. I'm sure he has this man conned it shocks me because this man is a recovering addict. I dont want him coming around at all. Just venting, they can be so smooth and con people. he had the poor me attitude meanwhile the whole time there here I'm watching my purse because he is a major thief. You think he would be somewhat grateful to people considering he could be homeless right now. I am so sick of his addiction and problems.

laurie6781

I think this couple knows and understands more than you think they do.

You can call them and tell them you wish to go No Contact with your son as this time, until both of you have had time to heal.

I also suspect that you didn't want to 'look bad' to this couple that has opened their home to your son and other addicts. Don't worry about it, They are used to dealing with the 'manipulations, whining, lies, etc' of the newly clean addict.

It is your right to also tell them that you do NOT WANT your son coming to your house for now.

For now you need 'you time' to get past what you have been dealing with. You know for the moment he is safe. He has stayed there so far. There is some 'willingness' there even if he is still fighting it.

I am sending prayers for you and your family and for him to find a 'long term' treatment center.

We are walking with you in spirit.

Love and hugs,

URMYEVERYTHING

I agree with the above poster. Unfortunately, addicts are self absorbed and self centered and early in his recovery he hasn't yet begun to learn this about himself. They all feel someone owes them something.

You have the right to just distance yourself from him. If a phone call or a letter will suffice just to know he's okay is good but as far as him coming to your house to store his belongings, etc. shouldn't be an option. My BF knows not to ask me for anything however, he continues to pry at his mother and she finally put a wall up to the point that she doesn't even want me calling her to tell her that he's okay or not.

It may be best just to tell him that he's a grown man and all his grown man stuff can go with him. If he loses all these things as a consequence to his addiction, oh well. He will survive once he finds recovery. He will rebuild all that he lost.

You are in my prayers. I hope you find peace for yourself during this difficult time. :ghug3

Learn2Live

katie,

I agree with the previous posters, bite the bullet and go no contact.

You're not helping your son by allowing him to use you as his scapegoat.
You're not helping him by allowing him to store his "stuff" in your house and therefore not taking responsibility for his own belongings.
You're not helping him by allowing him to be in your life and walk all over you and therefore continue to think his behavior is acceptable.

If he is over the age of 17, he's a grown man, completely able to take care of himself and his own life. If he chooses not to, that is not your problem.

Let him go. Find your serenity. Live in peace.

gotahavfaith

I can totally identify with this statement.

Gotahavfaith