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Dating an addict. Seeking advice.

Old 08-24-2009, 12:56 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Sojourner... reading your reply........ I have chills. My arm hair is standing straight up!

Original Poster....... where are you? How are you doing?

I applaud you for coming on here and asking questions. That in itself takes courage!
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Old 08-24-2009, 01:45 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Lightseeker,
Thank you for that powerful post. Sometimes even when we really know the facts about relationship with an addict and the dangers....sometimes we hear the facts fresh, and it packs a punch. Your post did that for me.

BossyBrunette: Welcome. As for bossiness, you have met your match with addiction. It's one power struggle you are certain not to win.

Do take care,
Excellent advice has been given above,

Bluejay
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Old 08-24-2009, 04:05 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Unless you want a life filled with chaos, sadness, broken promises, lies, and manipulion i would say run!!!!
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:02 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Save YOURSELF, thats all YOU can do!

Wow, do I realllllly know where you're coming from. I have battled this the emotional effects of this disease personally from dealing with my fiance. He is a crack cocaine addict and it has made me sick as well. Luckily for me after two years of lying, stealing, manipulating me...staying up all night waiting for him to come home, calling his cell phone on redial for hours on end with no answer, threatening, crying, screaming, getting myself physically sick It breaks your heart and your spirit You find yourself doing things you never thought you'd do. Making yourself a classic enabler. Finally .my fiance has gone to rehab. I also went through a hard time..beating myself up saying to myself if he really loved me. NO. Dont do that to yourself, please. Spare your heart the kind of pain mine has gone through. Just because your boyfriend is an addict and is not ready to admit it yet does not mean he doesnt care for you. I can promise you his addition WILL get in the way of his feelings for you. And to make a relationship work with an active drug user is near impossible. SR is a great place for support i've learned, NAR ANON meetings are hard to find so try an AL ANON meeting..they're realllllly helping me.
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:45 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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hey there!

I'm not exactly in a relationship with an addict but I have these crazy thoughts of flying to the other side of the world to be with one. He's also doing oxy, benzoates and weed, just he doesnt drink alcohol. I never dared talking to him about this as I wasnt supposed to know about it, but I know for sure if I talked to him about it, I wouldnt be able to change a thing. He also said on a forum he can stop whenever he wants, but he's been doing it for over 15 years and doesnt seem to stop.

I also told myself he is a good person and one day he will quit destroying himself, but I doubt that more and more. Right now I'm trying to kill my feelings for him, and even if I never met him face-to-face it's still awfully hard.

If you dont want to face some awful mood swings and nonsense fights, run while you still can. I dont know if thats a common thing, but sometimes his behaviour is out of any limits.. and that's still only online, I dont want to imagine how would it be like if I really flew to him. I hope things will go better for you, and hope you will make the right choices

*hugs you*
~D.
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