Honest Birthday, acknowledgement?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 190
Honest Birthday, acknowledgement?
Today, is my RAH's one year clean birthday. Maybe?
Here's the deal. He has worked on his recovery for this year, meetings, sponsor, & steps (slowly on the step work). For the most part, it seems that he has remained clean. However, I do suspect somewhat, that he relapsed for a time. He lost weight kinda sudden and had that look about his face. Looked like he did when I know he was using. He swears he has remained cleaned the full year.
He does have other health problems, and sees Doctor at VA Hospital regularly, and they know he's a recovering addict. When he was losing the weight, he would tell me that the Doctor doesn't know why he's losing weight. They ran various tests, all came back ok. I have my thoughts on the weight loss, called RELAPSE! I know he'd never admit to me if he did.
I told him one day that he was looking like he did when he was using, weight loss, sunken face. He claims he has not used. It seems after I made that statement to him, is when he began to put weight back on and the frequency of meetings increased. Hmmmmm.
The weight came back on, and his face began to fill out again. He has been going to meetings everyday, sometimes twice a day for about the last few months. Prior to that, maybe twice a week.
I want to believe (of course) that he has really made it clean to this birthday. Many things have been better, yet some things, not so much, progress though. I want to wish him Happy Birthday, acknowledge the day, but at the same time, there is this small part of me that is really not sure it is an HONEST birthday. I guess I should acknowledge it, tell him I am proud of him. If he really has been clean one full year, good for him, if not, and he did relapse, well I guess he is lying to himself. Just not sure what I should do.
Here's the deal. He has worked on his recovery for this year, meetings, sponsor, & steps (slowly on the step work). For the most part, it seems that he has remained clean. However, I do suspect somewhat, that he relapsed for a time. He lost weight kinda sudden and had that look about his face. Looked like he did when I know he was using. He swears he has remained cleaned the full year.
He does have other health problems, and sees Doctor at VA Hospital regularly, and they know he's a recovering addict. When he was losing the weight, he would tell me that the Doctor doesn't know why he's losing weight. They ran various tests, all came back ok. I have my thoughts on the weight loss, called RELAPSE! I know he'd never admit to me if he did.
I told him one day that he was looking like he did when he was using, weight loss, sunken face. He claims he has not used. It seems after I made that statement to him, is when he began to put weight back on and the frequency of meetings increased. Hmmmmm.
The weight came back on, and his face began to fill out again. He has been going to meetings everyday, sometimes twice a day for about the last few months. Prior to that, maybe twice a week.
I want to believe (of course) that he has really made it clean to this birthday. Many things have been better, yet some things, not so much, progress though. I want to wish him Happy Birthday, acknowledge the day, but at the same time, there is this small part of me that is really not sure it is an HONEST birthday. I guess I should acknowledge it, tell him I am proud of him. If he really has been clean one full year, good for him, if not, and he did relapse, well I guess he is lying to himself. Just not sure what I should do.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Have you considered just asking him simply and honestly?
That may help to get it out in the open so you don't continue to
torture yourself with the "What if's" and the "It seems to be's".
All things considered, it's his life & his choices he's responsible for.
That may help to get it out in the open so you don't continue to
torture yourself with the "What if's" and the "It seems to be's".
All things considered, it's his life & his choices he's responsible for.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
