Between a Rock & a Hard Place
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Serenity Bound,
Don't forget how recovery is a process. It's not like Clorox Cleanup where you can spray it on and wipe it off and LOOK! It worked! How shiny and clean!
There's no magic potion for us and our loved ones suffering from this insidious disease. So we have to keep trudging through, making the healthiest decisions for ourselves and for them, no matter how hard or how painful.
Don't give up hope. Good and happy times are just around the corner...
Don't forget how recovery is a process. It's not like Clorox Cleanup where you can spray it on and wipe it off and LOOK! It worked! How shiny and clean!
There's no magic potion for us and our loved ones suffering from this insidious disease. So we have to keep trudging through, making the healthiest decisions for ourselves and for them, no matter how hard or how painful.
Don't give up hope. Good and happy times are just around the corner...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
One day at a time
Thank you all for your love & encouragement.
Amy, thank you for your incite into Crack, the reminder that it affects the addict so emotionally. I have always felt that my AD needs therapy to undercover (so to speak) the reasons she feels so bad about herself, that she would stay in a relationship that is clearly toxic and the ways to counteract those feelings. But that is coming from a non-addict's perspective.
So far we have gone from thurs (15 calls...yelling,blaming,threatening) to 2 calls,(Fri) are you going to visit? No, I'm going to my meeting. Today my AD said she has asked the people at the hosp to get her into a rehab. Now it may just be because they won't let her smoke cigs & she wants out or the fact that she knows she cannot come back here without a decent amount of recovery under her belt (yes I have stuck to my boundaries here....hard but I did it)..........The thing is I don't care what the reason, (I've been this route b/4 and I know that rehab is not a Cure) however whatever time she is in rehab, sober living, has got to be good as she will be away from the addict's way of living......and hopefully it will put her in a better frame of mind and reinforce all of the tools she has learned.
As they say "don't give up b/4 the miracle happens"
You'll love this one, my AD during one of the thurs calls, said "You love your naranon friends more than you love me"
Amy, thank you for your incite into Crack, the reminder that it affects the addict so emotionally. I have always felt that my AD needs therapy to undercover (so to speak) the reasons she feels so bad about herself, that she would stay in a relationship that is clearly toxic and the ways to counteract those feelings. But that is coming from a non-addict's perspective.
So far we have gone from thurs (15 calls...yelling,blaming,threatening) to 2 calls,(Fri) are you going to visit? No, I'm going to my meeting. Today my AD said she has asked the people at the hosp to get her into a rehab. Now it may just be because they won't let her smoke cigs & she wants out or the fact that she knows she cannot come back here without a decent amount of recovery under her belt (yes I have stuck to my boundaries here....hard but I did it)..........The thing is I don't care what the reason, (I've been this route b/4 and I know that rehab is not a Cure) however whatever time she is in rehab, sober living, has got to be good as she will be away from the addict's way of living......and hopefully it will put her in a better frame of mind and reinforce all of the tools she has learned.
As they say "don't give up b/4 the miracle happens"
You'll love this one, my AD during one of the thurs calls, said "You love your naranon friends more than you love me"
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
((((Chris))))
I am so sorry. I know when things are good you go to the meetings and think yeah I can do this, then it all falls apart when things go wrong. We love our kids and want so much to help and protect them, but with addiction we can't do that and that hurts so much.
I wish I had the right words to make you feel better, one thing my daughter said to me about Joey that really made me think, she said you know mother your being selfish! I said what do you mean, she said you will never let Joey fall because it hurts you, you don't want to worry, you don't want him to feel the pain, you don't want him to get hurt, he can not recover till you let him. While I didn't like hearing it, she was right it hurt me to much to watch, I will always hurt, but I am starting to understand our addicts can't get up unless we let them fall all the way down, we need to let them feel the pain in order for them to seek the recovery. I feel your pain Chris and it sucks!!! (((Hugs)))) Julie
I am so sorry. I know when things are good you go to the meetings and think yeah I can do this, then it all falls apart when things go wrong. We love our kids and want so much to help and protect them, but with addiction we can't do that and that hurts so much.
I wish I had the right words to make you feel better, one thing my daughter said to me about Joey that really made me think, she said you know mother your being selfish! I said what do you mean, she said you will never let Joey fall because it hurts you, you don't want to worry, you don't want him to feel the pain, you don't want him to get hurt, he can not recover till you let him. While I didn't like hearing it, she was right it hurt me to much to watch, I will always hurt, but I am starting to understand our addicts can't get up unless we let them fall all the way down, we need to let them feel the pain in order for them to seek the recovery. I feel your pain Chris and it sucks!!! (((Hugs)))) Julie
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
What a wonderful progression to this thread. Glad you stuck the boundaries that were most important.
I get to pick and choose my boundaries. I get to decide what I can and cannot do, today. I get to be in charge of me.
(((hugs))))
PS.. AND, I get to change my mind, on occassion.
Wishing you and your AD the very best. ((hugs))
I get to pick and choose my boundaries. I get to decide what I can and cannot do, today. I get to be in charge of me.
(((hugs))))
PS.. AND, I get to change my mind, on occassion.
Wishing you and your AD the very best. ((hugs))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
One day at a time.....continues
On Weds my AD signed herself out of the hosp, they were taking too much time to find her a rehab (in her opinion)......She came back to my home with the understanding that she would get herself into a rehab within days. Thurs...she made the appropriate research & phone calls and will be admitted to rehab tomorrow morn at 10 a.m. in the meantime she is attending meetings, IOP, and tending to other issues, doctors, meds, etc.
When she first came in the door she said that she would do it my way......
......I told her she needed to do it HP's way.
I will continue to pray that she follow's HP's plan and that I do too, attending to my own business.
I am a "work in progress"
When she first came in the door she said that she would do it my way......
......I told her she needed to do it HP's way.I will continue to pray that she follow's HP's plan and that I do too, attending to my own business.
I am a "work in progress"
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Chris! 
You are my hero! I'm so sorry you have been going through all of this with your daughter. You have handled it well, and I want to be like you when I grow up (or if I ever have any other face-to-face encounters with my future stepson!).
Hugs and prayers, HG
You are my hero! I'm so sorry you have been going through all of this with your daughter. You have handled it well, and I want to be like you when I grow up (or if I ever have any other face-to-face encounters with my future stepson!).
Hugs and prayers, HG
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