Hope87

Hey everyone,

I didn't feel comfortable at the NA meeting a went to a month ago and remember some of you mentioning to try al anon. Does it matter if I'm there for someone with drug problems? Would I be able to discuss by AB situation when this is for alcoholism? I was just wodering how that works. My AB has also mentioned he likes going to AA instead of NA. Thought maybe this would work out better since it's much closer to where we live and maybe there will be people there like me (girlfriend, wife, fiance). I felt uncomfortable at the nar anon meeting cause every single person was much older than me and a parent. Any experiences or advice you can share would be greatly appreciated!

outtolunch

You are welcome to attend Al-anon.

Instead of focusing on the differences between you and the others, look for what you have in common. You and the others care for someone who is addicted to substance and it's impacting your life.

It does not matter if the substance is alcohol, weed, heroin, crack, crystal meth or soemthing else. It does not matter if the people are older or younger than you. It does not matter if the substance asuser is a husband, wife, signifiicant other, parent, child, sibling or a freind.

The most important thing is to take the focus off the addict/alcoholic/substance and focus on the one thing you control, yourself.

daisylady

I have been to a meeting where I felt really weird and uncomfortable before, it just wasn't the right fit for me. Keep going to different meetings until you find one that fits. I agree with outtolunch, I don't think it matters if you are dealing with someone who uses alcohol or has other substance abuse problems. We all experience the same chaos living with our active addicts, it doesn't matter what their drug of choice is. I have been on a hiatus for a while since my AH was sober for over a year, but he just recently relapsed and I am planning on going back on Monday night. It is hard, but once you find one that fits, it helps SOOO much. Good Luck!

atalose

Outtolunch said it perfectly; focus on the COMMON things that everyone involved with someone who any addiction goes through.

And daisylady made a great suggestion, if you find one meeting not fitting to you then try others. I went to about 9 different meetings before I settled into my home group.

I originally began attending al-anon because my fathers drinking had really began to take it’s toll on me. My sober and clean BF talked me into it, it no doubt helped me when my BF relapsed.

Hope87

Thanks guys for getting back. I think next week I will make a meeting week and go to a diffrent one each day until I find one that is a little more comfortable for me. This will include the Al Anon meeting next Wed. Thanks again

eggdogg1234

FWIW the addict in my life shoots speed and pills. I went to a couple alanon meetings and they didn't feel right, but then I found a men's meeting and it seemed better (for me). I still felt strange and out of place I am 31 and most of the men are in their 60s give or take a decade. But when I started to hear them share it was like I found a home or a family that I wanted to be in. I kept going and eventually started a topic at one of the meetings and that was it...that was a couple of months ago. I think my timing was right because the people in that meeting have saved my life. I had lunch with the core group of guys after the meeting today, and they are becoming more valueable to me then most friends I have had. I would suggest that you keep trying to find a meeting group that feels right, because it can help soooo much. You should know when you have found the right fit, for me it was the calmness and wisdom in their words and outlook on life...I knew that it was something I wanted in my life. Good luck.