sojourner

Could use some advice on this one. On average, there are 3 or 4 collection companies calls coming here for different debts he has accrued since he was 18 (this is childhood home of AS with the same phone number since he was born). This has been going on for at least two years. I used to answer them and explain he does not live here and then offer his cell phone number. Whether they took his cell phone number or not, they still continued calling here. Now i handle these calls by 1) not answering and letting them record a message, or 2) picking up the phone, staying silent for about 10 seconds, and then hanging up (I find they don't call back after that).

Here's the deal though. I have basically gone no-contact with AS. His cell phone has been lost due to non-payment, so these companies do not have a cell phone number to contact him personally. Soooo - this particular consequence is non-existent for AS. These debts are probably too small to actually get some kind of warrant against him.

I have, until now, limited my contact with him to tell him that I love him and am willing to offer help if he decides to get help for his drug/alcohol problem.

Here's my dilemma, though. Should I be reminding him, in the few contacts that i make with him, that these dunning calls are coming in. Am I enabling him by not mentioning them any more?

Or is there some other way i could be handling these?

Any advice/thoughts would be appreciated.

laurie6781

When you get one of those calls, tell them the following:

"DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN. He has not lived here in X number of years. DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN. I have no contact with him, do not know where he is, DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN."

It will take a few months but they will stop, until the debt is sold to another collection agency and you will have to do it again.

Some may require a letter in writing, others will just note the file. Be sure to repeat the "DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN' at least 3 times.

By law they have to abide by that, but some push it or don't put the 'do not call' in the folder the first time.

As to telling him, won't do any good, he won't do anything until and when he finds recovery. He knows, he's just put those debts up on a shelf at the back of his mind and doesn't think about them.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

JMFburns

The debts are there for him to deal with at some time in his life. It is not your problem and you are not protecting him or enabling him by not reminding him of it, you are just staying out of it.

Too bad you have to get the phone calls though, sounds like you're not talking or Laurie's advice might both work.

Taking5

I agree with Laurie tell them not to call until they get it.

If these are truly debts and there is no fraud involved on your AS part, there will never be a warrant. There is no debtor's prison in the USA.

kwigers

In my state it is illegal for creditors to harass a person.
All it takes here is a simple statement of; "if you call here again, I will have my lawyer contact you."
My thought about your question of "enabling".
I often simply ask myself, "What is a loving thing for me to do here in this situation?"
It may be to let him know the calls are coming in and now he is aware of it.
Or it may be to ask him how he would like the situation handled, does he want them to be given his number or not, or his address or not, if I happen to pick up the phone.
No matter what feels right or comfortable to you is what is right and comfortable to you! Go with it!
~Cheryl

outtolunch

I have been getting these calls, on behalf of my daughter, for about 2.5 years.

I love caller ID and do not answer unless I know who is calling.

The 800 numbers are givaways.

Some collection agencies have their staff use cell phone, some with local area codes.

Most collection agencies seem to have gone the route of leaving recorded messages.

I don't bother telling her about the calls, any more. She shot her own credit score,the real consequence. It will take 7.5 years for that to clear.

outtolunch

There are different rules depending upon the type of debt as to how long it will remain on his credit report:

Unpaid Tax Lien - Indefinitely

Chapter 7 Bankruptcies - 10 years from date filed.

Public Records - 7 years from the date of payment.

Closed or Inactive Accounts - 10 years from the date of last activity.

Derogatory Accounts - 7 1/2 years from the date of original delinquency.


Assuming these are credit card debts, a collection agency can hound him forever but they cannot reinstate the debt on his credit report.

Millions of people are walking away from serious mortgage debt with nothing more than a zap on their credit report.

greeteachday

He knows...He just isn't ready to deal with it. I don't believe telling him will do a thing nor that you are hurting him in anyway by not answering or telling him about them. As stated above, the real consequence will be the damage to his credit.

I've told agencies not to call and indicated that if they call back I will report them (that usually works) I've also ignored those calls (it takes longer but eventually they give up) Fortunately my daughter chose recovery and spent 2 years cleaning up the mess she made to her credit - it was a great lesson in responsibility and humility for her. It feels good not to ever expect a call like that now.

marle

I used to get the calls too. I told them that she was deep in addiction, did not have a cell phone, no address and that they were not to call my house anymore. The calls stopped. My daughter knew what kind of financial trouble she was in but when in active addiction it is but a blip on their radar screen. My daughter has 14 months clean and has spent the last year cleaning up her credit. She is dealing with court summons, trying to reach settlements on credit cards, paying off doctors and hospital bills. When she complains, I remind her that it is a consequence of her addiction and it is something to remember should she ever start to glorify the drug years. Hugs, Marle