just venting-tough day
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 15
just venting-tough day
My AH just left for the hospital, again. He is out of his pain meds and has been having pain and digestive issues today. He has a medical condition that can cause these problems, which is why he is given pain meds. He has cut back on how often he goes to the hospital, but every time he goes I can't help but wonder if he is really sick or if he is just going for drugs (which is what many of the doctors have thought in the past, mostly before he was diagnosed with his condition). It just seems that each time he goes falls exactly when his meds run out. The symptoms of his condition are very similar to possible side effects of using narcotics, withdrawl, or even narcotic bowel syndrome. I just don't know anymore if he is really sick or if he just wants to get meds. I don't think he knows either, at least most of the time.
Also, last week he ordered pain meds online because he used his prescribed meds too quickly. I asked him what he plans to do when those meds run out and he said he won't order any more meds online and he'll just tough it out until he can get his Rx filled next (this Friday), because if he orders meds online again I will kick him out. The thing is, I didn't even say that I would kick him out. He's probably right that I should, but how pathetic is it that he is the one setting my boundaries for me and that I can't do it myself.
And it all just makes me wonder if that is why he is in the hospital today... to get the meds w/o breaking the "rule" about ordering meds online. (Also, if he orders online they have to be shipped - hospital is more instant gratification)
Also, last week he ordered pain meds online because he used his prescribed meds too quickly. I asked him what he plans to do when those meds run out and he said he won't order any more meds online and he'll just tough it out until he can get his Rx filled next (this Friday), because if he orders meds online again I will kick him out. The thing is, I didn't even say that I would kick him out. He's probably right that I should, but how pathetic is it that he is the one setting my boundaries for me and that I can't do it myself.
And it all just makes me wonder if that is why he is in the hospital today... to get the meds w/o breaking the "rule" about ordering meds online. (Also, if he orders online they have to be shipped - hospital is more instant gratification)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Would the world be a better place if everyone did as we thought they should?
This is his battle. Only you can decide what acceptable to you. Speculating, snooping, worrying and so on is not going to change anything.
Give yourself a break, today. Think about you, not him and his addiction and what you do not control. You deserve to give yourself this gift.
This is his battle. Only you can decide what acceptable to you. Speculating, snooping, worrying and so on is not going to change anything.
Give yourself a break, today. Think about you, not him and his addiction and what you do not control. You deserve to give yourself this gift.
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