Update - Dakota's Scan Results
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Update - Dakota's Scan Results Are In
Okay so the ex and I were on the way to get Dakota's scans yesterday and I had taken my bible praying for God to speak to me and let me know everything was going to be okay.
I was lead to a devotional I would like to share with you as it really spoke to my heart and circumstances.
WORRY and exhaustion were creeping up on me. My daughter Kate was ten days old and asleep in her crib on the second floor of our small Cape Cod home. I had neglected to ask my husband to instruct me in teh use of our new baby monitor and was certain that it was quite beyond me. "What did mother do before the invention of baby monitors?" I asked myself as I ironed in the basement.
The doctor had given me strict instructions due to the trauma of Kate's birth: One trip u and down the stairs a day, for two weeks" Yet, there I was, running up two flights of stairs in between each garment I ironed, leaning breathlessly over the crib, rail to assume myself that my helpless little babe was still breathing. On the trip back to the basement I would scold myself harshly for being this silly. But, once again while I was bending over the ironing board, fearful thoughts relentlessly teased. What if crib death steals my baby away or what if she cokes and I'm not there?" So, back up the stairs I tread.
After one of those completed round trips, the question I'd asked earlier interrupted my fretting. What did mothers do before baby monitors? The still small voice residing in my heart replied, "They trusted in the Lord far more, worried far less and got a lot more accomplished!" My thoughts were drawn ext to Matthew 6:25,27: "Therefore I tell yo, do not worry about your life .... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" I knew then it was time to pause and confess: "Thank you, Father, that little Kate is of great value to you and that she is under your constant watch. I am ashamed of my worries. Please forgive me and help me to trust her life to you. Amen."
I felt like God was speaking to me and encouraging me not to worry. He was and is watching over Dakota. I thanked him and wept with gratitude that he was comforting me. I felt assured that everything was going to be fine.
We arrived at the hospital, checked in and was called shortly there after .. We were greeted by an intern who would be doing the actual scans and upon entering the room we were introduced to the tech who would be overseeing the intern and scans. They were both very polite and when asked questions they explained what we were seeing and what we would see if there was a mass. Everything was going well and I felt good that there was nothing in Dakota's little body that shouldn't be there .. then all of a sudden the tech starts to focus in on a certain area (where her left kidney and two pound tumor used to be) the demeanor changed as did the atmosphere of the room and it became serious. No longer were questions answered with explainations, but rather met with I can't tell you anything. We were told that they were going to take the pictures to the doctor to read them and would be back and I asked if they saw something and again was told that they could not tell me until the doctor read the pictures and then they could say.
My heart filled with fear and I felt like I was going to faint, throw up or both at the same time. Five minutes passed, then ten minutes, then fifteen and finally I looked out of the room to see a older gentleman walking toward us, followed by the tech and intern.
He reached out his hand and introduced himself as doctor so and so and we simply just asked if there was something wrong and he said he just needed to get a few more pictures. Not very reassuring to say the least. I'm freakin' out inside and trying to stay standing, focusing my mind on the devotion and talking to God saying, I can't do this again Lord, I just can't. The only thing keeping me from hyperventilating was the mental grip I had on trust in the Lord. I stood there thinking that the doctor may think he sees something, but that it wasn't nothing because God has said more then once she fine.
He had her on her back scanned the left side of her .. then turned her on her stomach and scanned the left side then also scanned the side of her left side.
He finished and again I asked if there was something wrong and he said that he just needed to get a few more pictures so he could see and that he understood how this could cause fear in us, but that he didn't expect to see anything different then what they had been seeing in the past and back out to the waiting room we went.
The xray tech came and got us and usually they allowed my ex to be in the little room behind the window with them while they did her xrays and I stayed with her, but they said that only one of us could be in the room and due to patient confidentiality no one could be behind the window with them. This too was unusual and set a different tone.
After her xray she picked a toy from the treasure chest and off to oncology we went at a few minutes before noon. Her appt wasn't until 4pm, but I wanted to see if they could get her in earlier. They were all booked until her appt, but I did get to talk to one of the nurses and I explained to her what had happened and let her know my fear alarm was up (they already know I am neurotic when it comes to Dakota) and the nurse told me that "if the radiologist had seen something that they would have called up to oncology right away and she assured me that they hadn't received any calls. I took a deep breath and exhaled again reminding myself to "trust". I rescheduled Dakota's appt for the next day due to the heat and no air conditioning in the vehicle then We went down stairs to get Dakota and Eli a bite to eat and my phone rang .. I answered it and it was Darcy from the clinic .. the question whats wrong just jumped right out of my mouth and she said, "nothing, everything is normal"
I cried and thanked God. I was so happy, but had forgotten to ask was the ultrasound clear as well as the xray or was she just reassuring me that the ultrasound was clear. I forced myself to believe she meant both and headed home.
Today we had Dakota's physical exam and she was kinda worried about having to get a shot. I assured her that she wasn't going to get any shots or owies .. when we got there they let us know she had to have a blood test (sigh), but she did great!!! and we officially received the news that all the result are NED!!!!
Everything, blood, urine, scans were all perfect and she is officially 21 months cancer free.
All praise, glory and honor to God .. We are so grateful for the awesome doctors and nurse he surrounded Dakota with and used to bring about her healing.
I was grateful to find out that she only has 3 more cat scans to go through and the rest of the time they will be doing ultrasounds and xrays for the next 3 years. This is good news as I freak out every time they put her under. Oh heck .. lets face it .. I freak out every time she goes to get her scans ... I give myself permission to feel however I feel because I am human and then I keep my eyes fixed on the Lord
My most sincere thank you to all who prayed for her, for me, for the whole situation.
Your prayers are always welcome and appreciated and mean so very much to me. I am blessed by the love and support of my friends and both family members including my extended family members.
(I'm off to post this on her caringbridge page. I will be adding the same information as I did here on SR cause I just am mentally exhausted and can't expain it a second time in different words LOL)
God Bless You All and Thank you with much gratitude and love,
Sher aka Passion and Dakota
I was lead to a devotional I would like to share with you as it really spoke to my heart and circumstances.
Those Baby Monitors!
Author: Beth Donigan Seversen
From: Women's Devotional Bible
Author: Beth Donigan Seversen
From: Women's Devotional Bible
WORRY and exhaustion were creeping up on me. My daughter Kate was ten days old and asleep in her crib on the second floor of our small Cape Cod home. I had neglected to ask my husband to instruct me in teh use of our new baby monitor and was certain that it was quite beyond me. "What did mother do before the invention of baby monitors?" I asked myself as I ironed in the basement.
The doctor had given me strict instructions due to the trauma of Kate's birth: One trip u and down the stairs a day, for two weeks" Yet, there I was, running up two flights of stairs in between each garment I ironed, leaning breathlessly over the crib, rail to assume myself that my helpless little babe was still breathing. On the trip back to the basement I would scold myself harshly for being this silly. But, once again while I was bending over the ironing board, fearful thoughts relentlessly teased. What if crib death steals my baby away or what if she cokes and I'm not there?" So, back up the stairs I tread.
After one of those completed round trips, the question I'd asked earlier interrupted my fretting. What did mothers do before baby monitors? The still small voice residing in my heart replied, "They trusted in the Lord far more, worried far less and got a lot more accomplished!" My thoughts were drawn ext to Matthew 6:25,27: "Therefore I tell yo, do not worry about your life .... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" I knew then it was time to pause and confess: "Thank you, Father, that little Kate is of great value to you and that she is under your constant watch. I am ashamed of my worries. Please forgive me and help me to trust her life to you. Amen."
I felt like God was speaking to me and encouraging me not to worry. He was and is watching over Dakota. I thanked him and wept with gratitude that he was comforting me. I felt assured that everything was going to be fine.
We arrived at the hospital, checked in and was called shortly there after .. We were greeted by an intern who would be doing the actual scans and upon entering the room we were introduced to the tech who would be overseeing the intern and scans. They were both very polite and when asked questions they explained what we were seeing and what we would see if there was a mass. Everything was going well and I felt good that there was nothing in Dakota's little body that shouldn't be there .. then all of a sudden the tech starts to focus in on a certain area (where her left kidney and two pound tumor used to be) the demeanor changed as did the atmosphere of the room and it became serious. No longer were questions answered with explainations, but rather met with I can't tell you anything. We were told that they were going to take the pictures to the doctor to read them and would be back and I asked if they saw something and again was told that they could not tell me until the doctor read the pictures and then they could say.
My heart filled with fear and I felt like I was going to faint, throw up or both at the same time. Five minutes passed, then ten minutes, then fifteen and finally I looked out of the room to see a older gentleman walking toward us, followed by the tech and intern.
He reached out his hand and introduced himself as doctor so and so and we simply just asked if there was something wrong and he said he just needed to get a few more pictures. Not very reassuring to say the least. I'm freakin' out inside and trying to stay standing, focusing my mind on the devotion and talking to God saying, I can't do this again Lord, I just can't. The only thing keeping me from hyperventilating was the mental grip I had on trust in the Lord. I stood there thinking that the doctor may think he sees something, but that it wasn't nothing because God has said more then once she fine.
He had her on her back scanned the left side of her .. then turned her on her stomach and scanned the left side then also scanned the side of her left side.
He finished and again I asked if there was something wrong and he said that he just needed to get a few more pictures so he could see and that he understood how this could cause fear in us, but that he didn't expect to see anything different then what they had been seeing in the past and back out to the waiting room we went.
The xray tech came and got us and usually they allowed my ex to be in the little room behind the window with them while they did her xrays and I stayed with her, but they said that only one of us could be in the room and due to patient confidentiality no one could be behind the window with them. This too was unusual and set a different tone.
After her xray she picked a toy from the treasure chest and off to oncology we went at a few minutes before noon. Her appt wasn't until 4pm, but I wanted to see if they could get her in earlier. They were all booked until her appt, but I did get to talk to one of the nurses and I explained to her what had happened and let her know my fear alarm was up (they already know I am neurotic when it comes to Dakota) and the nurse told me that "if the radiologist had seen something that they would have called up to oncology right away and she assured me that they hadn't received any calls. I took a deep breath and exhaled again reminding myself to "trust". I rescheduled Dakota's appt for the next day due to the heat and no air conditioning in the vehicle then We went down stairs to get Dakota and Eli a bite to eat and my phone rang .. I answered it and it was Darcy from the clinic .. the question whats wrong just jumped right out of my mouth and she said, "nothing, everything is normal"
I cried and thanked God. I was so happy, but had forgotten to ask was the ultrasound clear as well as the xray or was she just reassuring me that the ultrasound was clear. I forced myself to believe she meant both and headed home.
Today we had Dakota's physical exam and she was kinda worried about having to get a shot. I assured her that she wasn't going to get any shots or owies .. when we got there they let us know she had to have a blood test (sigh), but she did great!!! and we officially received the news that all the result are NED!!!!
Everything, blood, urine, scans were all perfect and she is officially 21 months cancer free.
All praise, glory and honor to God .. We are so grateful for the awesome doctors and nurse he surrounded Dakota with and used to bring about her healing.
I was grateful to find out that she only has 3 more cat scans to go through and the rest of the time they will be doing ultrasounds and xrays for the next 3 years. This is good news as I freak out every time they put her under. Oh heck .. lets face it .. I freak out every time she goes to get her scans ... I give myself permission to feel however I feel because I am human and then I keep my eyes fixed on the Lord
My most sincere thank you to all who prayed for her, for me, for the whole situation.
Your prayers are always welcome and appreciated and mean so very much to me. I am blessed by the love and support of my friends and both family members including my extended family members.
(I'm off to post this on her caringbridge page. I will be adding the same information as I did here on SR cause I just am mentally exhausted and can't expain it a second time in different words LOL)
God Bless You All and Thank you with much gratitude and love,
Sher aka Passion and Dakota
Last edited by nytepassion; 07-29-2009 at 08:20 PM.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I was holding my breath and trusting in God too the whole time i read this. I'm so glad Dakota is fine and the tests showed NED!
My goodness, she is growing up - what a beautiful young lady! Her hair has grown so long!
Hugs and prayers to you and the kids! Sleep well Sher!
My goodness, she is growing up - what a beautiful young lady! Her hair has grown so long!
Hugs and prayers to you and the kids! Sleep well Sher!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Oh Nyte, you need some much deserved relaxation. I can't imagine the terror you feel each time. I just myself felt such relief to here she is clear....awesome news Nyte! She is a beatiful young lady, I bet just like her mama!
Rose
Rose
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Nyte)))
I was holding my breath while reading your post, but was ecstatic to exhale at the end with a huge smile on my face!
There is a little girl who comes in my restaurant who is obviously undergoing treatment for cancer. I am not yet comfortable asking her parents the particulars, although I have seen the x-ray markings in the area of her left kidney, and I always pray that she do as well as our little angel, Dakota.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I was holding my breath while reading your post, but was ecstatic to exhale at the end with a huge smile on my face!
There is a little girl who comes in my restaurant who is obviously undergoing treatment for cancer. I am not yet comfortable asking her parents the particulars, although I have seen the x-ray markings in the area of her left kidney, and I always pray that she do as well as our little angel, Dakota.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
(((Nyte))) That is awesome news! I, too, was holding my breathe as I read your post.
She is just beautiful!!!!
Your post also gave me the nudge I needed at this time, the reminder that indeed the Lord loves my child just as much as I do.
Chris
She is just beautiful!!!!
Your post also gave me the nudge I needed at this time, the reminder that indeed the Lord loves my child just as much as I do.
Chris
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I wasn't holding my breath - I was crying my eyes out!!
Oh good gravy- it still amazes me how close we become to each other - just by sharing stories, life, heartbreaks and joys thru a simple recovery forum.
I'm so glad everything is ok, Nyte.
BIG HUGS to all of you.
Ok - now this blubbering silly goose has got to go fix her face before all my co-workers see me crying!!
Thank you GOD for such an awesome victory in Dakota and her family!!
Rita
Oh good gravy- it still amazes me how close we become to each other - just by sharing stories, life, heartbreaks and joys thru a simple recovery forum.
I'm so glad everything is ok, Nyte.
BIG HUGS to all of you.
Ok - now this blubbering silly goose has got to go fix her face before all my co-workers see me crying!!
Thank you GOD for such an awesome victory in Dakota and her family!!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Antioch, Ca.
Posts: 158
Oh Sher,:ghug2
just got a chance to check on you.........I have chills........and tears..........So happy she is ok, and so are you...........Had you on the largest prayer chain in Houston.......78 members strong praying for your little Dakota..........you had me so worried at the beginning of your post.......My hands were shaking...........
God is good isn't he............
Thanks for the update,
Susan
just got a chance to check on you.........I have chills........and tears..........So happy she is ok, and so are you...........Had you on the largest prayer chain in Houston.......78 members strong praying for your little Dakota..........you had me so worried at the beginning of your post.......My hands were shaking...........
God is good isn't he............
Thanks for the update,
Susan
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