I just don't know when to give up....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
i want to add on to what others have said about the violence escalating from when they are using to when sober. my ex from many many years ago at first only was abusive when he was drunk. then the trend became that the worst of the violence was when he was hungover - those were usually the times he was the most dangerous. towards the end it seemed that he was just picking a fight so he would have an excuse to leave and go party. if i threw him out then he could stay gone for days without guilt. come back a few days later after i cooled off and spin the whole thing to being my fault. no matter what the drugs were center stage with all of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by IPT 
You have every right to that feel that way and to that life. You should be able to have a bottle of wine in your house and not have to worry about it. However, if you care about this man, him having a successful recovery, and maybe a successful relationship with him, you may need to make a sacrafice. It's all about choices and trade offs.
And when I say I use drugs recreationally, I'm talking about pot. I smoke pot regularly but it's a once-in-a-blue-moon type of thing when I use ANY other drugs (ie: mushrooms or ecstasy). And I DEFINITELY DON'T bring hard drugs into my home, only pot.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Dayummmmmmm girl... you are doing one helluva job here! I'm SO proud of you!
Best thing you can do re: bondsmen and family........ don't answer your phone! I'm so blinking proud of you for putting all into motion..... and most of all staying TRUE TO YOURSELF!
You are a young and beautiful woman who does not have to deal with any of this! You aren't married - you have no children ... it's YOUR home!
I say that you be very proud of yourself!
It takes some people years to get to where you are..... ehem (me) .... but I'm there now........ and you have my full on total support!
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Best thing you can do re: bondsmen and family........ don't answer your phone! I'm so blinking proud of you for putting all into motion..... and most of all staying TRUE TO YOURSELF!
You are a young and beautiful woman who does not have to deal with any of this! You aren't married - you have no children ... it's YOUR home!
I say that you be very proud of yourself!
It takes some people years to get to where you are..... ehem (me) .... but I'm there now........ and you have my full on total support!
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Faerie
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
I'm so proud of you for taking him back to the bondsman.
I know it must have been hard but you did the right thing.
You have proven you love yourself more than you love him.
You are a Goddess as deserve to be treated like one.
I recently got out of a relationship with a pot addict who raped me [i posted a thread about it] it was hard because I was confused and I loved him so much but at the end of the day we have to put our own well being first.
Physical and sexual abuse cannot be excused, there is no excuse for such violence and disrespect.
We deserve kind, gentle partners that give us unconditional love.
I'm about the same age as you, I'm 27.
Much love and understanding,
Faerie, xx
I know it must have been hard but you did the right thing.
You have proven you love yourself more than you love him.
You are a Goddess as deserve to be treated like one.
I recently got out of a relationship with a pot addict who raped me [i posted a thread about it] it was hard because I was confused and I loved him so much but at the end of the day we have to put our own well being first.
Physical and sexual abuse cannot be excused, there is no excuse for such violence and disrespect.
We deserve kind, gentle partners that give us unconditional love.
I'm about the same age as you, I'm 27.
Much love and understanding,
Faerie, xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 30
Thank you guys for the continued support. It's such a great feeling to know that I can log in here at any time and see another comment with support, or people empathizing that they have been through similar experiences. I feel like I am getting stronger in this process and am finally learning how to DETACH, which is a huge step for me.
Right now, I'm just trying to fill up my life with GOOD things, like taking morning walks with my dogs down by the canal, or going out with friends after work. I'm trying to take care of me for once since I've been caring for him for the last 2 years.
Right now, I'm just trying to fill up my life with GOOD things, like taking morning walks with my dogs down by the canal, or going out with friends after work. I'm trying to take care of me for once since I've been caring for him for the last 2 years.
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