crazytrain

I've had to change my user name as I changed my email and do not remember my password....I used to be suesue (i think!)....
You may recall my AH was also a type one diabetic.
....Long story ...
We split up ...then (stupid me)...got back together...moved into a house his mother ownes. Had a great summer...the kids were so happy.
he relapsed...begged his wealthy mother to help cover some of the fees for rehab. She said no. He tried everything to get into a rehab RIGHT away, before he got 'into' it again. we couldn't do it. I kicked him out for selling alot of our stuff without telling me (I knew it was for drugs). Now he's been gone 3 days.
He has no money, has not eaten in days and doesn't have his long-acting inslulin for evenings. I wont let him in the house (the kids are NOT going to be in the same room with a junkie!)
His mother is trying to kick me out of the house (as she says "my son will live in that house, you WILL let him in or else I will kick you out...SHe is such an enabler...yet wont help him get treatment)
So much, too much to write....
I'm terrified again.
I came so close to being free.
The kids will just be devastated to lose dad AGAIN.
(but the 6 year old is so confused as he knows that Dad sold his Wii game system that he just got for his birthday)...he is scared, he knows 'something is wrong with dad...just not what or why.
I'm scarred for all the pain he will endure.
My Ah TRIED SO HARD TO GET HELP.
Now he's gone who knows where.
He said on the phone that he his body is shutting down. (he was on methadone too)
Did I kill him?
How could I do that to my kids.
HE'S A DIABETIC WITH NO FOOD, MONEY, OR THE RIGHT INSULIN, SLEEPING IN HIS TRUCK IN 40 DEGREE HEAT....
what have I done.
I'm sorry this is all over the place so much has happend since I first found out about his using (and my old posts)

I'm trying to stay calm. My finances are still in a shambles. I dont want to live a 'crapy poverty ridden life' I cant do that to my kids.
It's the worst time to get back into the work force. My city is SO expensive, daycare is hard to get with minumum 6 month wait lists....and on and on.
I'm overwhelmed...and yes it's a bit of self pity and hatred towards myself for putting myself here AGAIN.

Latte

Take a deep breath. If he can get drugs, he can get medical attention. He has got to make that choice for himself.

You probably should get some legal advice as to whether his Mom can kick you out. I don't know that she can. It won't happen today.

My thoughts are with you.

rose

I think Grandma should open her eyes up...saying for you to get out, what about her grandchildren, does she feel it is right for them to live their life with a junkie. Just wondering why she would not help out for him to seek some treatment...maybe one to manytimes?

I am sure he is fully aware that he can go and get medical treatment.

Rose

crazytrain

She thinks I should just let him keep trying the methadone and that I'm too demanding. SHE DOESN'T LIVE WITH IT...SHE'S IN ANOTHER CITY.
She feels letting us have this house for a year (free) was her way of getting him clean....I dont know what kind of stupid logic that is....
In any case my AH told her to get out of our lives. He oddly has only relapsed after visits from her. She sits on the sofa and yells at him at what a loser he is and makes him do weird things for her...ie. change all the light bulbs, wash the dishes without water...yes...you heard right.... she took all our radios when she left (yes it was her, I watched her pack them in her car when she left), she freaked out we did not have a 'tall' glass for her water. When I found one of mine from the old house she refused it 'That's YOUR tall glass'. She insisted we go buy her a glass!!!!!!!!
She has been acting very odly the past year and I think she is suffering from some sort psychiatric illness at this point.
My AH cut off contact with her after she said no to the rehab because she said: 'well, if you used heroin before and didn't die, it means your body is strong and can handle the drugs, so you probably wont die'

....yep his mom said that!

That killed my husband, he cried and cried after hearing that.

She cares only about money and he is her only relative left (other than the grandkids which I now think should have limited contact with due to her odd behaviors...)

I'm getting off track here...

She has made us all crazy. She certainly agrivated the problems

teke

sorry you are going through all of this but i agree with latte. if he can get drugs, he probably know how to get to er if he had to. i have to ask, is it his mom whos making you guys feel crazy or is it his addiction.

i don't know much about it but in my state an addict can go to salvation army or emergency room to get help or get pointed in the right direction. if he's been to rehab once then he had tools and could probably find a meeting when he truly got ready.

i understand about the mil, i have one that is the biggest enabler but i had to take a step back and realize that i couldn't change her either. addiction affect all who love the addict. not making excuses for her but sounds like either she don't understand or is in denial.

maybe its time for you to think about moving out and allowing him to have her house. i know its easier said than done but not impossible. i know her actions plus his, is making life very difficult and you are not killing your ah. hes gonna do what he's gonna do. my opinion only. i'll be praying for all of you

JustAYak

I can't really give you much on your whole situation but I think this is important... I remember being 7 and not knowing what the h-ll was going on with my own dad and it sucked. Don't keep him in the dark...just tell him that his father has a problem and that he needs to find help for it before living with you guys. You should probably also tell him that he might not ever get help for it however, he's 6, I don't know if you'd want to tell him that yet or not. He's not going to understand addiction probably, but at least he'll know something then. If you tell him something of what's going on it's likely he'll feel less insignificant or like he caused this whole thing because he's important enough in your life to be told what he wants to know. That just my own experience, I wish someone would have told me something when I was younger...

Best of luck to you crazytrain

Ann

Help is out there for him when he is ready. Hospitals, detox and the Salvation Army all can help him...when and only when he is ready to help himself.

You didn't cause this, neither did your whacky mother in law, so maybe just focus on taking care of yourself and your babies.

A women's shelter can help you get back on your feet. Maybe give them a call.

Keeping you and your kids and your husband in my prayers.

Hugs

marle

Sending some prayers and hugs your way. Others above me have given you some good ideas. Hugs, Marle