imallright

Ok, intellectually I get this but... I need some wise words to get my heart and my head where it needs to be. So, all this talk in the news about legalizing weed has given my soon to be ex-ah more fuel to keep our kids thinking I am the crazy one.

I understand that there may be medicinal uses of the drug that make sense... just like any other drug that is used to treat something... however that doesn't mean that if it becomes legalized that living on a constant high is suddenly ok. My daughter, fueled by her Dad, hit me with, "so, they are talking about legalizing weed... what now???? Guess it really is no different than someone drinking wine...so what's the big deal?"

The big deal to me that abuse of the substance... and frankly I don't care if it is Mr. Clean, weed or alcohol... contributed to the demise of our marriage and family. I am so tired of being punished and made to think I am nuts because I couldn't live with someone who had a problem with drugs. Help me to keep this all staight in my head... in my mind someone who wasn't willing to put his family/wife before getting high has a problem... even if the substance becomes legal.

Help me to get back on track please.

Impurrfect

My niece has brought up the same issue (she's almost 16). I've explained it to her in terms of my stepmom, who has legit pain issues. When she takes her pain meds, as prescribed, none of us have a problem with it...she can function quite nicely. When she ABUSES her meds, then we have a problem as she has passed out, which angers me and has scared my niece.

What I've told my niece is that there have been legit needs for substances forever..oxy was designed for terminal cancer patients...not for people to snort and get high. If the substance (weed, oxy, whatever) is being used for pain, as prescribed, the person isn't going to get high..they will get relief from the pain (although not always complete relief) and hopefully be able to function. If someone is using a substance to escape from dealing with life, then they are abusing it and it's wrong.

Legalizing weed isn't saying it's okay to go around and get high. It's saying that people who have legit health problems that it can help, no longer have to get it ILLEGALLY. If it's legalizes, it's also giving states a chance to tax it, which will help a lot of states get out of the debt they are in, like California.

Just my opinion, but I know my niece is thinking the same way your STBXAH is.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

TrainWreckAgain

The issue comes down to how it is used. THC does have some well documented medicinal qualities. The problem, like with any medicine, is that it has to be used the right way. I have taken serious meds for pain, including narcotics. I took them as prescribed by the doctor.. AND I don't have a genetic pre-disposition to addiction.

itisatruth

Wow, they still don't understand do they...after all that's happened, the fact that his abuse of it was the real problem. You've been posting here for a while and I've watched your progress & care about you, and I gotta say, I don't know them and don't want to sound harsh, but it's frustrating that they are still trying to put this on you. You have every right to only accept what is or isn't acceptable in your life. I truly hope some day very soon they start to understand and stop blaming you.

Alcohol is legal but that doesn't stop people from abusing it and ruining marriages, families, lives. Like Amy said, the abuse of it is the problem.

imallright

Thanks to all of you... and itsa... you especially. It's been a rough road. I told my soon to be exah that I couldn't do it any more 18 months ago. It's been a year since he moved out. My daughter still thinks that I am the one who screwed everything up and that all of this mess is my fault.

I would never go back to living with him. The pain of being second to a drug, having a husband who was just a body and not involved with life and living my life to not P**s him off was a horrible way to live. That being said, I said I didn't want to be married to him, not that I didn't want to mother my kids. I pray that some day they will see. In the meantime, I continue to wait and to try to be there for them when they want me to. I resent him for all of this and I am angry at myself for either not taking action to end the marriage sooner or for not staying... at least I would have had my kids with me. At this point, they are not with me and I have no control over what they are exposed to... how do you force a 15 year old to do anything????

Anyway... makes me so angry to think that he is justifying his behavior and his lack of attentiveness in our marriage by using the fact that CA needs to find a way to raise money and perhaps weed is a helpful drug for those who need it... not for those who want to veg and get high!!!!!

TrainWreckAgain

I live in California, and for a while, my AGF had a card that allowed her access to pot. She would say to me, "but it is medical marijuana." In her screwed up brain, that made it ok to get stoned to the point where she couldn't talk.

I know all of the excuses make you angry. The excuses I heard made me want to scream. But yelleing at my AGF made no difference. All I got back was what one of friends calls the Homer Simpson stare.... Doh!!!

imallright

Thanks! Amazing, huh? Hope you are taking care of you... I am trying hard to take care of me. Some days, it isn't easy. But, what choice do we have????