Sigh

" What does not kill you makes you stronger" I'm afraid I don't agree with that quote. I do think though that what does not kill you, changes you.

I am not the person I was before my son vaulted his body, mind and I'm afraid his soul into the darkness named heroin. I notice things now that I would never have seen as an earthling (Earthling=person that has never had to deal with addition and so does not understand). I have a great compassion for addicts and a huge heartfelt feelings of compassion for their parents. I maintain a zero tolerance for drug use. I understand what is enabling and how to love an addicted child/adult without providing an environment in which they can use. I can lay down boundaries and not waver.

I am certainaly not the person I use to be. I am not particularly strong, I am just willing to change.........myself.

Most of these skills I learned, not always willingly, not always quickly and honestly it was never even close to easy (actually, for me, it was painful) most of these skills I learned and now I no longer need to personally apply them because miracles do happen.

In a short period of time my son will be 5 years clean and sober. Is he clean and sober because I changed? I honestly don't think so, I think he's clean and sober because finally that's what he decided to be - and God, Life and AA dropped the right people into his life at the right time - but changing myself -helped me survive.

My only advice is - you can't change another person, but you can change yourself and how you react to different situations.

My house is peaceful. Fear, darkness and chaos are no longer parts of my life and have not been for a long time. I have my family back.
I am happy.

My son is independent and has been for a very long time- we see each other often. Life is good. Keep the hope. Take good care of -- yourself.



love,

sigh

outtolunch

[QUOTE=Sigh;2298578


My house is peaceful. [/QUOTE]

What more can any of us ask for.

Thanks for sharing this. It hit home.

Ann

Sigh!!! :ghug3

5 years clean, that's a wonderful miracle and just tickles my heart. Give your son a huge hug from me, and tell him he is a beacon of hope just by example.

And most of all, I am happy for you, that your life is peaceful and happy.

It's so good to see you, don't be a stranger, we love to see old friends come by.

Big Mama to Mama Hugs

P.S. Do you still have your little deaf dog? My Toby is deaf now too, and we have our own sign language going, and of course "the look" says it all without words,

chrisea

camelot was my senior high play...

I am not the person I was before

you can't change another person, but you can change yourself and how you react to different situations.

My house is peaceful. I am happy.

Thanks for reminding me on the good changes, things to be grateful for.