open minds
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 456
I think this is wrong in so many ways:
-If you have to do this, consider when you do go for a job a field you wish, you may need to explain the employment gap on your resume. I highly doubt that you would put this in... Also it is online and its a web of information that will could come back, if you want to obtain a PHD and this leeks out... I am not sure what you mean either. You mention that you lost your apartment, but you say you are doing this at home, perhaps you live with your boyfriend?
-Yes, its your body and what you do with it is your own thing, but it's just in poor taste. I feel that part of recovery is self-respect and self-worth, and how is pleasuring yourself in front of a camera for others to see showing self-worth?
-I live in New York City and see plenty of people loosing their jobs and they get unemployment, assistance, charity, a lower paying job, myself included for the lower pay option. (My company was sold.) People get by without selling a part of themselves in a sexual manner, even if the men don't touch you... Do you think they are not touching someone other then themselves? Some of these people have addictions to this sort of thing, and doing something like this feeds into it. Also some of these people get aroused by this and then force themselves on another person.... It happens.
I don't think its a question of having an open mind defining if one agrees with your thoughts. I think its more of a soap box method of telling the world what you want to do and a way to rebel.
I just don't think its a wise route.
-If you have to do this, consider when you do go for a job a field you wish, you may need to explain the employment gap on your resume. I highly doubt that you would put this in... Also it is online and its a web of information that will could come back, if you want to obtain a PHD and this leeks out... I am not sure what you mean either. You mention that you lost your apartment, but you say you are doing this at home, perhaps you live with your boyfriend?
-Yes, its your body and what you do with it is your own thing, but it's just in poor taste. I feel that part of recovery is self-respect and self-worth, and how is pleasuring yourself in front of a camera for others to see showing self-worth?
-I live in New York City and see plenty of people loosing their jobs and they get unemployment, assistance, charity, a lower paying job, myself included for the lower pay option. (My company was sold.) People get by without selling a part of themselves in a sexual manner, even if the men don't touch you... Do you think they are not touching someone other then themselves? Some of these people have addictions to this sort of thing, and doing something like this feeds into it. Also some of these people get aroused by this and then force themselves on another person.... It happens.
I don't think its a question of having an open mind defining if one agrees with your thoughts. I think its more of a soap box method of telling the world what you want to do and a way to rebel.
I just don't think its a wise route.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello there breakingfree, and pleased to "meet" you 
Would you like to hear from a sex positive _male_? I know you asked for women's opinions so if I'm out of line feel free to ignore me
I live in Las Vegas, and the "skin business" here is completely legitimized. There are some places that are clearly abusive, but you find that in any profession. As a rough guess, I'd say about half the people in the rooms are currently employed in the biz, or recently were. Men, women or other.
The guideline we follow over here is "Safe, Sane and Consensual". Cam-work is considered about as tame as can be. In the "safe" category there's the obvious stuff like don't give out your personal number, address, etc. Not so obvious stuff like remove anything from the cam room that is unique to you. Like paintings, cosmetics, medications, etc.
My ex was a super-model. Now _that_ is a serious skin business, far more than most of the stuff that goes on in Vegas. I am a photographer, and I did my share of glamour and marketing work in my time. Now I help out folks who are having trouble making ends meet by doing free photo sessions and giving them a portfolio or z-card they can take to an audition.
Yes, it is hard for the spouse and partners to adjust to somebody getting into the biz. I'd guess it's the biggest problem for people _in_ the biz; getting friends and family to adjust. My personal opinion is that cam work is really not that different from what a super-model does on a runway. Except cam work is more private. Not to mention that super-models get invited to a lot of "private shows" that are pretty wild and not at all private.
Have a good time, save your pennies, and when it's all over you'll have a ton of material for writing a good book
Mike
Would you like to hear from a sex positive _male_? I know you asked for women's opinions so if I'm out of line feel free to ignore me
I live in Las Vegas, and the "skin business" here is completely legitimized. There are some places that are clearly abusive, but you find that in any profession. As a rough guess, I'd say about half the people in the rooms are currently employed in the biz, or recently were. Men, women or other.
The guideline we follow over here is "Safe, Sane and Consensual". Cam-work is considered about as tame as can be. In the "safe" category there's the obvious stuff like don't give out your personal number, address, etc. Not so obvious stuff like remove anything from the cam room that is unique to you. Like paintings, cosmetics, medications, etc.
My ex was a super-model. Now _that_ is a serious skin business, far more than most of the stuff that goes on in Vegas. I am a photographer, and I did my share of glamour and marketing work in my time. Now I help out folks who are having trouble making ends meet by doing free photo sessions and giving them a portfolio or z-card they can take to an audition.
Yes, it is hard for the spouse and partners to adjust to somebody getting into the biz. I'd guess it's the biggest problem for people _in_ the biz; getting friends and family to adjust. My personal opinion is that cam work is really not that different from what a super-model does on a runway. Except cam work is more private. Not to mention that super-models get invited to a lot of "private shows" that are pretty wild and not at all private.
Have a good time, save your pennies, and when it's all over you'll have a ton of material for writing a good book
Mike
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Oh my word! I hadn't even thought about the book angle, Mike. That's marvelous!
There's a correlation in there somewhere between the intimate anonimity that happens in the rooms of AA and Al-Anon opposite the intimacy and anonimity of "Cam-work" (I dig that short hand, btw).
See what you can do with that, breakingfree, and get back to me.
Alice
There's a correlation in there somewhere between the intimate anonimity that happens in the rooms of AA and Al-Anon opposite the intimacy and anonimity of "Cam-work" (I dig that short hand, btw).
See what you can do with that, breakingfree, and get back to me.
Alice
learning to live for me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 215
Mike-
Thanks alot! I love what you shared. It really helps alot! I like your perspective. And thanks for the safety tips. You can never have too many of those, regardless of what you do in life.
Alice,
the book angle is pretty sweet! being anon. is freeing!!
-holly
Thanks alot! I love what you shared. It really helps alot! I like your perspective. And thanks for the safety tips. You can never have too many of those, regardless of what you do in life.
Alice,
the book angle is pretty sweet! being anon. is freeing!!
-holly
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
Firstly I hope this thread goes away as it may be freeing in recovery for some, to me it is a gateway to another path due to the money ease. I am not open minded when I think that a lovely young woman may be exploiting herself to a self gratification group that could also lead them to be more than just watchers. Another gateway to whatever...
Perhaps this topic belongs in the Cafe Forum..it is uncomfortable to me as my son was involved with a on the fringe young lady that wanted to further her money extension and infact ended up feeling that a little extra on the side helped with her bills as well. It became her career..
I can take the heat this may generate..
lauren
Perhaps this topic belongs in the Cafe Forum..it is uncomfortable to me as my son was involved with a on the fringe young lady that wanted to further her money extension and infact ended up feeling that a little extra on the side helped with her bills as well. It became her career..
I can take the heat this may generate..
lauren
Your Distant Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 255
When I met my former fiance, she was stripping at an all nude bar.
I thought it was ok and good she really didn't have any other way
To make decent money. Oh, she worked at mcdonalds for a year,
And the grocery store. Its no wonder why she liked this opportunity at age 18.
She was good at it too. She got costumes and tons of heals, supposrted the
Hair extensions, the whole nine. When if ound out she was doing side deals for actual sexual intercourse though, I urged her to stop. This doesn't sound like where she was headed though, I say kudos for finding some work. It sorta sucks how stable this industry is, ie how much its vaklued and why...stupid guys with money to burn.. hey TAKE IT... just watch out for those who want to push you further. Thanks for sharing
I thought it was ok and good she really didn't have any other way
To make decent money. Oh, she worked at mcdonalds for a year,
And the grocery store. Its no wonder why she liked this opportunity at age 18.
She was good at it too. She got costumes and tons of heals, supposrted the
Hair extensions, the whole nine. When if ound out she was doing side deals for actual sexual intercourse though, I urged her to stop. This doesn't sound like where she was headed though, I say kudos for finding some work. It sorta sucks how stable this industry is, ie how much its vaklued and why...stupid guys with money to burn.. hey TAKE IT... just watch out for those who want to push you further. Thanks for sharing
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
The only insight I will offer you on this subject, and I'm not judging, is that many women (fact) in the sex industry, either have had an sexually abusive childhood, or have very low self esteem. The self esteem becomes more damaged by having to allow a stranger to 'eh hm' himself on you.... (whether dancing at a bar, prostitution, web porn)etc.....
It it is damaging to your 'self' so to speak..... your mind begins to put VALUE and WORTH on a man essentially 'getting thrills' off your body--- and you begin to accept less and less for yourself----- it builds resentment and anger towards the opposite sex, it creates a false sense of 'this is all I can do' mentality, and we blame the economy etc. (make excuses) to justify in our minds, the fact that internally we KNOW we are 'lowering' ourselves or 'degrading' ourselves -- all in the name of the almighty dollar.
This kind of work encompasses women who either ARE damaged, or will end up DAMAGED.
I know you will write back that you arent, and that you are making sound decisions....
Just like we justify staying with an addict-- we know deep down inside what is right and wrong......
I hope you can truely find peace and contentment.
Cessy
It it is damaging to your 'self' so to speak..... your mind begins to put VALUE and WORTH on a man essentially 'getting thrills' off your body--- and you begin to accept less and less for yourself----- it builds resentment and anger towards the opposite sex, it creates a false sense of 'this is all I can do' mentality, and we blame the economy etc. (make excuses) to justify in our minds, the fact that internally we KNOW we are 'lowering' ourselves or 'degrading' ourselves -- all in the name of the almighty dollar.
This kind of work encompasses women who either ARE damaged, or will end up DAMAGED.
I know you will write back that you arent, and that you are making sound decisions....
Just like we justify staying with an addict-- we know deep down inside what is right and wrong......
I hope you can truely find peace and contentment.
Cessy
learning to live for me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 215
I am kind of surprised at the disdain I sense in some posts...not a respect for each woman's life path. I haven't lost my apartment because I took this job. And I have applied for every job available...even applied to mop floors at a factory even though I have a B.S. in Substance Abuse/Psychology. No one is hiring and even knowing that fact, I'm still keeping on applying. But disapproval isn't that surprising...that's why I came here...was to share my path and see if anyone had any advice...its a lot safer than calling up my mom and asking her what she thinks. Or stopping someone on the street haha.
I know its controversial and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings that loves me. There are a lot of women in the adult entertainment buisness that have been sexually abused...but also many have not and choose to express their sexuality in a different way..but I'm not going to speak for the hundreds of thousands because I can't possibly know their motives/intentions/pasts.
I can only speak/act for myself.
I know its controversial and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings that loves me. There are a lot of women in the adult entertainment buisness that have been sexually abused...but also many have not and choose to express their sexuality in a different way..but I'm not going to speak for the hundreds of thousands because I can't possibly know their motives/intentions/pasts.
I can only speak/act for myself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Enough.
Snide remarks and third person attacks are _not_ allowed on SR. If you do _not_ have personal experience with the subject being discussed you have no business posting on this thread. That goes for all other threads in this website.
If all you have is opinions, kindly take them elsewhere.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
Snide remarks and third person attacks are _not_ allowed on SR. If you do _not_ have personal experience with the subject being discussed you have no business posting on this thread. That goes for all other threads in this website.
If all you have is opinions, kindly take them elsewhere.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
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