Single / Newly Single...
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Single / Newly Single...
While this isn't from a codie or addict, it talks about the importance of "self".
Being in a relationship is not about changing who you are to match the other person, rather it is about two mature individuals coming together to share their lives with each other. You should still have your friends with whom you can go out with for a ladies night out without the men every once in awhile. You should also have your alone time to reflect and meditate. Your mate should also have his time with his friends and also his alone time. Of course there should be the utmost trust and respect between the two of you.
Never sacrifice who you are for your relationship. If you are giving more and more of yourself just to keep your relationship afloat then it's time to rethink your priorities. When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself. You forget the things you use to do because you gave them up for your relationship. Your friends have disappeared because your relationship took up all your time and they didn't have a man anyway so you couldn't relate to them anymore.
If you are not mature enough to work on yourself when you are single, meaning having a better relationship with yourself, with money and life, then you are not ready to be married or to be in any kind of relationship. If you think that when you get married you have to give up the things you did when you were single then you are not ready for marriage. Marriage is not the place to begin growing yourself. It is also not the place to figure out who you are. That should be done before getting married. A marriage is where two people continue growing while being together. Many people view getting married as a fun cool thing to do when they can be called Mr & Mrs. So&So.
Getting married is fun when you consider the wedding and all. But it's the marriage part that causes people to stumble. Failing to work on the individual self before marriage will only cause more problems in a marriage when now there are two people with two different set of issues. So for those of you, who are still single or newly single whether you are a man or a woman, take the time to develop yourself and your interests. Get your finances in order, learn how to save, learn about investments and learn about purchasing a house even if you are not in the market to purchase one. Most importantly learn how to love and cherish yourself before you enter into a relationship. So instead of losing yourself by chasing after your mate trying to figure out what is wrong you will be better equipped to recognize quickly when you are not happy in the relationship and thus take steps to either work it out or be strong enough to walk away if the relationship no longer works for you.
Women, Are You Making This Mistake in Your Relationship?
Being in a relationship is not about changing who you are to match the other person, rather it is about two mature individuals coming together to share their lives with each other. You should still have your friends with whom you can go out with for a ladies night out without the men every once in awhile. You should also have your alone time to reflect and meditate. Your mate should also have his time with his friends and also his alone time. Of course there should be the utmost trust and respect between the two of you.
Never sacrifice who you are for your relationship. If you are giving more and more of yourself just to keep your relationship afloat then it's time to rethink your priorities. When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself. You forget the things you use to do because you gave them up for your relationship. Your friends have disappeared because your relationship took up all your time and they didn't have a man anyway so you couldn't relate to them anymore.
If you are not mature enough to work on yourself when you are single, meaning having a better relationship with yourself, with money and life, then you are not ready to be married or to be in any kind of relationship. If you think that when you get married you have to give up the things you did when you were single then you are not ready for marriage. Marriage is not the place to begin growing yourself. It is also not the place to figure out who you are. That should be done before getting married. A marriage is where two people continue growing while being together. Many people view getting married as a fun cool thing to do when they can be called Mr & Mrs. So&So.
Getting married is fun when you consider the wedding and all. But it's the marriage part that causes people to stumble. Failing to work on the individual self before marriage will only cause more problems in a marriage when now there are two people with two different set of issues. So for those of you, who are still single or newly single whether you are a man or a woman, take the time to develop yourself and your interests. Get your finances in order, learn how to save, learn about investments and learn about purchasing a house even if you are not in the market to purchase one. Most importantly learn how to love and cherish yourself before you enter into a relationship. So instead of losing yourself by chasing after your mate trying to figure out what is wrong you will be better equipped to recognize quickly when you are not happy in the relationship and thus take steps to either work it out or be strong enough to walk away if the relationship no longer works for you.
Women, Are You Making This Mistake in Your Relationship?
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Marriage is not the place to begin growing yourself.... Failing to work on the individual self before marriage will only cause more problems in a marriage when now there are two people with two different set of issues.
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Thanks for posting this article. It is so true! I just came out of a relationship where I sacrificed everything to help my abf try to get help. I thought he was my soulmate, he just needed to get clean first and then we could have the perfect life together.
"When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself.": Yes... this is me. The funny thing is I have always been good with finances, saving money, etc. It was my abf who was always broke and he was taking me down with him. Now that we are not together I can see how unhappy I was and the article states it perfectly: "You will be better equipped to recognize quickly when you are not happy in the relationship and thus take steps to either work it out or be strong enough to walk away if the relationship no longer works for you." I am definitely a stronger person now than I was before in my relationship. SO Thank You again for posting.
"When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself.": Yes... this is me. The funny thing is I have always been good with finances, saving money, etc. It was my abf who was always broke and he was taking me down with him. Now that we are not together I can see how unhappy I was and the article states it perfectly: "You will be better equipped to recognize quickly when you are not happy in the relationship and thus take steps to either work it out or be strong enough to walk away if the relationship no longer works for you." I am definitely a stronger person now than I was before in my relationship. SO Thank You again for posting.
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It there is a ton of truth in this article...... and I am accepting it! 
My son told me today that since my guy has moved out that I'm a much more happier person. I asked him if thought I was sad or unhappy when he was here - and he said that I was sad. I asked him why he thought I was sad...... he said he didn't know. But just in the last couple of weeks - he feels that I'm much happier.
My boys don't know for certain..... as to what is going on with my guy. He did leave things here - but they are things that he just didn't want - like screws, nails, magazines - movies that the boys enjoys - some books. That kind of thing.
So - anywho - yeah.... it's nice to be interacting with the boys without having all of these problems going on. Or trying to put on a strong front for them to keep them protected. It's definitely freeing knowing that if I am sad .... I can tell the boys now REALLY why I am sad. To have an honest home back - is a gift.
My son told me today that since my guy has moved out that I'm a much more happier person. I asked him if thought I was sad or unhappy when he was here - and he said that I was sad. I asked him why he thought I was sad...... he said he didn't know. But just in the last couple of weeks - he feels that I'm much happier.
My boys don't know for certain..... as to what is going on with my guy. He did leave things here - but they are things that he just didn't want - like screws, nails, magazines - movies that the boys enjoys - some books. That kind of thing.
So - anywho - yeah.... it's nice to be interacting with the boys without having all of these problems going on. Or trying to put on a strong front for them to keep them protected. It's definitely freeing knowing that if I am sad .... I can tell the boys now REALLY why I am sad. To have an honest home back - is a gift.
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