redsox526

Hello Everyone!

I am new to this website, I came upon it browsing around for information on dating a recovering addict. I am currently dating someone that is almost two years in recovery. We met when he was about 10 months clean, and we have been together ever since. He is now working on Step 4 and I am curious as to what/if anything I should expect!? I also find myself second guessing our relationship because some days we are extremely close and other days I feel as though he would rather not talk to me!? Im wondering if this is part of the recovery process!? Not to mention, we work almost complete opposite hours and rarely get to see one another! When he does have free time he is usually going to a meeting, which I completely encourage! I love him, and definitely am here for him every step of the way! I am just wondering if anyone can enlighten me!?


Thanks!!

liesagain

welcome to sober recovery.

I'm not sure exactly what your asking...............as far as what to expect.

Maybe you could be a little more specific???

There are sticky posts here that have alot of great information, stick around read a bit........others will be along soon.

redsox526

Thanks for the response liesagain:-) I'm not totally sure what im asking myself! Haha! I know that Step 4 is a major step and it is bringing up lots of things from his past that bother him. I am definitely not prying, but as far as step work goes, do you think that Step 4 is the hardest!? Ill definitely have to check out the other posts! Also, some days he is very talkative and I feel extremely wanted, but there are days that he is really not up for talking about anything. He will talk to me, but not for long.. it's almost like he has mood swings! Which, I can understand if that is how he feels, don't we all. Is that natural for someone that is working their steps in recovery!?

Thanks:-)

whereami

I am waiting for someone to realize that their ex is someone's new recovering addict...small world...just be careful, relationships can be hard enough, look at the red flags in a relationship sticky and make sure they are autonomous, independent and have a good record of health and finances before you invest too far..

hope213

welcome to s..r i am glad you found us & glad u realize his recovery has to come first. i do not understand exactly what u want to know. step 4 is very difficult but this may just be your guys ways. read around all the post & read all the stickys at the top of the forum. read step4 & the feed back others have made on it. keep coming back. i wish i could have been more help.

lightseeker

welcome to SR. There is no typical way that anyone reacts as they go through the steps. The steps are used for every realm of recovery (Alanon/Naranon as well) so there is lots of information available. It really is an individual thing.

One thing that I have learned that the push/pull and mood swings of my sober husband are not necessarily related to recovery from substance abuse....they are personality traits. Being involved with an addict/sober addict/recovering addict has been a great trailhead for me to realize that I need to work on me. Doing my own recovery has helped me to understand better what it takes and what it is like to "do the deal".

The stickys at the top of this forum supply a lot of information.....reading the Melody Beattie books really help a lot too. Glad to meet you -

redsox526

Thank you everyone for your input, I will definitely have to check out the stickys! Nice to meet you all:-)