What have you done/said about your child's/sibling's drug use

Old 06-23-2009, 01:16 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I think a getting a job or taking a class or two may show her you are getting back on your feet. It may also get help with the isolation issues. Even just volunteering your time somewhere to help others. Parents feel best when they know their children can take care of themselves if something should happen to them, and they will not be there to help.
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Old 06-23-2009, 08:34 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sacramento View Post
I think a getting a job or taking a class or two may show her you are getting back on your feet. It may also get help with the isolation issues. Even just volunteering your time somewhere to help others. Parents feel best when they know their children can take care of themselves if something should happen to them, and they will not be there to help.
Well, I don't want to do anything right now. I'm enjoying my free time, and find it helps me for the most part. It does gt a little lonely, but never boring.

I volunteered at the Nursing Education Department in Jacobi Hospital during my last run with sobriety, and it got to me, even those short hours were causing stress. It was 2 hours monday and Friday, and 5 hours on wednesday. The job was boring, i didn't want to do it, and all i could think about was getting high, before you knew it I was fully into addiction again, and went to Rehab. I rather not work right now. I need mroe healing. i'm very bad with stress at the moment. School is an option. I just need a buch of more days clean and some healing.

Today was my father's birthday, and I completely forgot because I was so wrapped up in my own little world. I didn't get him a gift, and didn't even tell him "Happy birthday" until like 5pm. They went out to celebrate, and I decided not to go because other family members were gonna join along. I didn't want to see them for various reasons.

I felt awful about it all evening. Very anxious about how my father felt (I think he knoes i forgot), and just embarrassed that I had to tell my parents I can't be around family. First I forgot the date, then I didn't even want to spend time with him because i didn't want to feel uncomfortable around family. Isn't that selfish? And just negligent. It's like I don't care about much now. When I was getting high, i didn't care if I lived or died, but I least I felt love. I could love, and feel loved. I don't feel those thigns anymore.

I really need to work this stuff out in therapy because it's not helathy how im isolating, and how I'm forgetting important days like today.

I only hang out with two friends, and really only 1, but i'm willing to hang out with two. Just one has mroe time because he quit his job and is just waiting to go to law school.

I keep busy throughout the day fine, I just do it alone. But it's beginning to get lonely. Everyone else told me that's how it is, recovery is a lonely process and as soon as you feel good with your alone time, the better it'll be. But I was never a solo guy. I used to hang out with friends all the time. There's just something about my past drug use that's eating at me. Now that I'm sober, I feel so embarrassed by the things I've done, how I acted in front of friends, how many times i've scared people with my emergency room visits. I'm embarassed I didn't finish school. But it's not just a drug problem i have, im also dealing with depression and schizophrenia, possible schizoaeffective disorder. Who knows anymore? I've been diagnosed with everything in the psychiatrist's manual. I just know i need to talk these things out.
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