She's Baaaaaaaaaack! :)
Or However You Spell It....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
She's Baaaaaaaaaack! :) So many new members.....happy to see that yet sad in a way. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Now......I figured I'd better check in. I have a major announcement to make a little later on so wait for it! LOL I know....patience isn't most of our strong points, but if I can learn it.........
Life has been really great with a few exceptions. My landlord Charlie passed away in December. Mom ended up buying the house so I didn't have to move. Gosh I miss that old man!
Before that my job at the restaurant burnt down....arson. I was out of work for like 3 months!! Then the other restaurant I applied at burnt down. I know what you're thinkin........but I swear it was just a really bad coincidence!
I got a job at the Casino out here. Wow.....talk about another form of addiction. I see the same people in there every day and night. Gambling their pensions, retirements and savings away. Seems they'll end up hitting it just big enough to keep coming back! Everybody wants to get rich quick I guess.
I have health benefits now!! Never had that before. I like the job alright.....just the hours kick my butt! I do complain though I shouldn't. There's so many without jobs........but yea......I complain often. LOL
I'm still seeing the private investigator guy! I'm so glad I took that time to be alone.....to find myself again after all that mess with my exabf. If I hadn't I'm afraid I would have found another one just like him.
I can honestly say I'm co-dependent no more.....don't even find myself slipping!! It's nice not to have to worry about stuff I can't control or try to fix anyone Else's messes. I'm in total control of my life, what I choose to do or not do, what I will or won't put up with and let me tell you.....I don't put up with any crap! Sure....there are up and down days.....that's life! All you can do is deal with it as it comes.
We just celebrated my grandson's 2nd birthday! Can you believe it?
Now.......DRUM ROLL PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!
Y'all remember when my exabf ended up breaking down my door and kidnapped me by knife point in December of 07.......claiming he was finally sober and I OWED him another chance???? Well........He finally plead out....and got.........20 years!!!!!
How's that for sweet justice? I'm FINALLY SAFE!!
I can honestly say it's been one hell of a ride. I thank God everyday I found this place when I needed it the most. I spent most of my time here when I wasn't working. It took me a while to figure it all out. It took me a while to get past the fact that my ex's addiction didn't have anything to do with me. My life spun out of control so quickly.
Day by day and step by step I made it. I can only hope this gives someone else hope. You have to give yourself time. Don't stop living and DON'T let anyone steal your joy. For those of you in a relationship with an addict......I never thought I'd get over my exabf. I loved him with all my heart and soul. But love isn't a cure I'm afraid. I couldn't love him well. I couldn't threaten enough.......although I sure in hell tried.
It's not easy........nothing worth it ever is. But I promise......you'll find love again. I did! It took a while......almost 2 years actually. You've got to love yourself completely first though. You have to be content alone. That was a real pi$$er for me. I'd never been alone in my life.
Just remember.....you're worth so much more. Doesn't matter what you're being fed........especially since it's all gonna be your fault anyways. You have to learn to block out the constant quacking.
You're never going to be able to do enough to keep an active addict happy and away from his DOC. It's time to put yourself first.....after all.....you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. How do you want to live it?
Yep.......life is good. And I have to say........it was worth every ounce of pain it took to get here!
Love and Hugs
Kris
Now......I figured I'd better check in. I have a major announcement to make a little later on so wait for it! LOL I know....patience isn't most of our strong points, but if I can learn it.........
Life has been really great with a few exceptions. My landlord Charlie passed away in December. Mom ended up buying the house so I didn't have to move. Gosh I miss that old man!
Before that my job at the restaurant burnt down....arson. I was out of work for like 3 months!! Then the other restaurant I applied at burnt down. I know what you're thinkin........but I swear it was just a really bad coincidence!
I got a job at the Casino out here. Wow.....talk about another form of addiction. I see the same people in there every day and night. Gambling their pensions, retirements and savings away. Seems they'll end up hitting it just big enough to keep coming back! Everybody wants to get rich quick I guess.
I have health benefits now!! Never had that before. I like the job alright.....just the hours kick my butt! I do complain though I shouldn't. There's so many without jobs........but yea......I complain often. LOL
I'm still seeing the private investigator guy! I'm so glad I took that time to be alone.....to find myself again after all that mess with my exabf. If I hadn't I'm afraid I would have found another one just like him.
I can honestly say I'm co-dependent no more.....don't even find myself slipping!! It's nice not to have to worry about stuff I can't control or try to fix anyone Else's messes. I'm in total control of my life, what I choose to do or not do, what I will or won't put up with and let me tell you.....I don't put up with any crap! Sure....there are up and down days.....that's life! All you can do is deal with it as it comes.
We just celebrated my grandson's 2nd birthday! Can you believe it?
Now.......DRUM ROLL PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!
Y'all remember when my exabf ended up breaking down my door and kidnapped me by knife point in December of 07.......claiming he was finally sober and I OWED him another chance???? Well........He finally plead out....and got.........20 years!!!!!
How's that for sweet justice? I'm FINALLY SAFE!!
I can honestly say it's been one hell of a ride. I thank God everyday I found this place when I needed it the most. I spent most of my time here when I wasn't working. It took me a while to figure it all out. It took me a while to get past the fact that my ex's addiction didn't have anything to do with me. My life spun out of control so quickly.
Day by day and step by step I made it. I can only hope this gives someone else hope. You have to give yourself time. Don't stop living and DON'T let anyone steal your joy. For those of you in a relationship with an addict......I never thought I'd get over my exabf. I loved him with all my heart and soul. But love isn't a cure I'm afraid. I couldn't love him well. I couldn't threaten enough.......although I sure in hell tried.
It's not easy........nothing worth it ever is. But I promise......you'll find love again. I did! It took a while......almost 2 years actually. You've got to love yourself completely first though. You have to be content alone. That was a real pi$$er for me. I'd never been alone in my life.
Just remember.....you're worth so much more. Doesn't matter what you're being fed........especially since it's all gonna be your fault anyways. You have to learn to block out the constant quacking.
You're never going to be able to do enough to keep an active addict happy and away from his DOC. It's time to put yourself first.....after all.....you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. How do you want to live it?Yep.......life is good. And I have to say........it was worth every ounce of pain it took to get here!
Love and Hugs
Kris
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 98
Hey Love,
How's it going? I'm one of the newbies to the site. I joined here like a month ago. I'm new to all this and at my early stages of dealing with active addiction and codependency. Just taking one day at a time for now. My AB who was clean when I met him is now using heroin and pills and God knows what else. I know what I need to do (kick him out or make a mutal agreement that we both leave our apartment) but I'm having a very hard time with it. It's just not easy for me. Every day is like, I've mentioned in another post, "living as usual". If I didn't know the drugs where there I probably would really know. His behavior is not bad, nothing is being stolen, never yells or talks badly to me, all finances and bills are in my name, and he goes out of his way to be super boyfriend if that makes any sense. I know that this does not excuse the fact that he is using, I have found it in our apartment, it can kill him, it is affecting my life (mental and possibly physical) (actually, I'm letting it affect my life...but learning how to work thru this to get to where I need to be). Just baby steps. I got to a Nar anon meeting last night for the first time and learned alot. And though I'm putting off what needs to be done, I'm glad in a way I'm going about it this way. For example I'm learning how to go about doing this without my emotions getting the best of me. How I would have approached him last week when I found the $*** in the apartment is different then how I would approach him now. I'm thinking things through and trying to remain calm and not feed the addiction. But like I said one day at a time...it will happen and I will get to where I need to be.
I just wanted to thank you so much for your post. Gives me a lot of hope (and others too I'm sure
). Makes me think back so some of my past relationships and how much it hurt when some of them ended and you think you'll never get over it, it hurts so stinking bad. But time heals all wounds I believe. I've had enough experience... Half of them I don't even think of anymore and I've even talk to them once or twice and I'm not bitter and angry at them anymore. I don't feel anything when I talk to them. I know I can do this again....it's just getting there and going through the inevitable pain of losing someone you love so much.
How's it going? I'm one of the newbies to the site. I joined here like a month ago. I'm new to all this and at my early stages of dealing with active addiction and codependency. Just taking one day at a time for now. My AB who was clean when I met him is now using heroin and pills and God knows what else. I know what I need to do (kick him out or make a mutal agreement that we both leave our apartment) but I'm having a very hard time with it. It's just not easy for me. Every day is like, I've mentioned in another post, "living as usual". If I didn't know the drugs where there I probably would really know. His behavior is not bad, nothing is being stolen, never yells or talks badly to me, all finances and bills are in my name, and he goes out of his way to be super boyfriend if that makes any sense. I know that this does not excuse the fact that he is using, I have found it in our apartment, it can kill him, it is affecting my life (mental and possibly physical) (actually, I'm letting it affect my life...but learning how to work thru this to get to where I need to be). Just baby steps. I got to a Nar anon meeting last night for the first time and learned alot. And though I'm putting off what needs to be done, I'm glad in a way I'm going about it this way. For example I'm learning how to go about doing this without my emotions getting the best of me. How I would have approached him last week when I found the $*** in the apartment is different then how I would approach him now. I'm thinking things through and trying to remain calm and not feed the addiction. But like I said one day at a time...it will happen and I will get to where I need to be.
I just wanted to thank you so much for your post. Gives me a lot of hope (and others too I'm sure
). Makes me think back so some of my past relationships and how much it hurt when some of them ended and you think you'll never get over it, it hurts so stinking bad. But time heals all wounds I believe. I've had enough experience... Half of them I don't even think of anymore and I've even talk to them once or twice and I'm not bitter and angry at them anymore. I don't feel anything when I talk to them. I know I can do this again....it's just getting there and going through the inevitable pain of losing someone you love so much.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
I love that smile on your grandson's face, he's got the coolest grandma around! 
So very proud of you Kris, and the progress and achievements you've made in your life. Please check in when you can and keep us updated.
So very proud of you Kris, and the progress and achievements you've made in your life. Please check in when you can and keep us updated.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Kris, Life sounds good for you. I am glad that Skank got what he deserved. I bet that took a huge weight off your shoulders. Your grandson is a most handsome boy and I am sure he brings a ton of joy into your life. Enjoy your new beau and your job and your life. You deserve it. Hugs and happy to see you. Marle
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kris)))
It's SOOOO good to hear from you. I'm glad Shank is locked up for a long, long time. You're little man is such a handsome fellow, and YOU sound awesome!!! Don't be such a stranger, okay?
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
It's SOOOO good to hear from you. I'm glad Shank is locked up for a long, long time. You're little man is such a handsome fellow, and YOU sound awesome!!! Don't be such a stranger, okay?
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Kris, it's good to hear from you and it sounds like your life is getting so much better.
Your little grandson is adorable as ever, and growing far too fast.
I'm on the run and will check in later to catch up.
Hugs
Your little grandson is adorable as ever, and growing far too fast.
I'm on the run and will check in later to catch up.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Kris,
I am so glad that things are going well for you. It is a relief to know that your ex will be locked up for a long time. Your grandson is getting so big, I can't believe it. Seems like yesterday that he was born.
Missed seeing you on here, I've been in the background alot. Not posting much.
Hope to talk to you soon,
I am so glad that things are going well for you. It is a relief to know that your ex will be locked up for a long time. Your grandson is getting so big, I can't believe it. Seems like yesterday that he was born.
Missed seeing you on here, I've been in the background alot. Not posting much.
Hope to talk to you soon,
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hey there Kris..what a wonderful, happy update - I'm so glad life is going so well and that you are safe and Skank is facing the consequences of his actions.
I can't believe the "baby" is two! He is simply adorable, a total cutie like his beautiful grandmother. How is your daughter? Hugs...don't be a stranger.
I can't believe the "baby" is two! He is simply adorable, a total cutie like his beautiful grandmother. How is your daughter? Hugs...don't be a stranger.
turning red!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
ouah i'm so lucky! didn't check on soberrecovery for at least 4 months and who do i see check-in???? My dearest Kris!! I'm so happy things turn out well for you (besides the awkward burnt down restaurants, damn which area do you live? seems pretty intense!!! Lucky you got an investigator on your side now life is so full of surprise isn't it...
Take care yummy granny ;P
love
Carine
life is so full of surprise isn't it...Take care yummy granny ;P
love
Carine
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Loves, you and Funkzter I am just to overwhelmed...WOW! What does the HP's have going here! Now that is some Knews...20years. Were you there when he got the Jolly Knews! Crazy how the systems work in different places, my exah got a day for dragging me out of the house in the middle of the night with a tire iron and a 9 month house arrest for 3 armed robberies.
You gave some great advice here, there is life out there again and I know it is hard to believe, but BELIEVE. It is so fresh in my mind when I was at a Woman's Shelter and they told me this. They said in some form or another they will go away, if they don't spend most of the rest of their life in jail, they will just go so far down into the drug world they have no real use for us anymore or they just leave this world.
Well yours went to jail Kris and mine is right down in the drug world, what it is like and what they do I have no idea and I really don't want to know, but he not made any contact with us for almost 2years now, he is no threat what so ever. He lives as far as I know in Alberta and we live in BC.
You sound so good and I can see the content on your face....!
Rose
You gave some great advice here, there is life out there again and I know it is hard to believe, but BELIEVE. It is so fresh in my mind when I was at a Woman's Shelter and they told me this. They said in some form or another they will go away, if they don't spend most of the rest of their life in jail, they will just go so far down into the drug world they have no real use for us anymore or they just leave this world.
Well yours went to jail Kris and mine is right down in the drug world, what it is like and what they do I have no idea and I really don't want to know, but he not made any contact with us for almost 2years now, he is no threat what so ever. He lives as far as I know in Alberta and we live in BC.
You sound so good and I can see the content on your face....!
Rose
A Brand New Life
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 287
I am so happy you are doing well and you sound so strong. I am fighting for sole custody of my child for the very same reason...mine is crazy! I just hope that I have the same courage you do. It is so nice to read stories of success after the storm.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
wow Kris................big changes for you!! I am so happy for you.
I was actually thinking of you just yesterday...............sadly it was because I was in Okeechobee with my AH who just entered treatment there for the next 10 months..............yeah we're still at it but I'm learning a thing or two along this crazy ride.
Stick around your colorful vivid stories are missed!!!
Great NEWS about shank and his 20!!!!! Sad to hear about your landlord
I was actually thinking of you just yesterday...............sadly it was because I was in Okeechobee with my AH who just entered treatment there for the next 10 months..............yeah we're still at it but I'm learning a thing or two along this crazy ride.
Stick around your colorful vivid stories are missed!!!
Great NEWS about shank and his 20!!!!! Sad to hear about your landlord
Or However You Spell It....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Safe
Posts: 4,264
Big smiles over here! I've really missed this place.
I was there in the court room and got to see .......tryin to be nice......ummmm.....nope....can't do it Skank for the first time since the abduction. Actually my boyfriend went with me....held my hand the entire time and encouraged me to talk to the judge before the verdict was handed down.
In a way I almost wanted to thank my ex. If it weren't for him and his antics I'd never be where I am right now. .........and I apologize.......shouldn't be bashing him I suppose. He has major issues he still hasn't addressed and probably never will. He sure does have a lot of time to think about it though.
I also want to make it clear to anyone who doesn't know my whole story. We're not bashing "the addict". We're merely reacting to a very violent man. He wasn't just an addict. There are a lot of really good folks out there with really bad addictions. My ex......well he wasn't one of them I'm afraid.
I was there in the court room and got to see .......tryin to be nice......ummmm.....nope....can't do it
Skank for the first time since the abduction. Actually my boyfriend went with me....held my hand the entire time and encouraged me to talk to the judge before the verdict was handed down. In a way I almost wanted to thank my ex. If it weren't for him and his antics I'd never be where I am right now. .........and I apologize.......shouldn't be bashing him I suppose. He has major issues he still hasn't addressed and probably never will. He sure does have a lot of time to think about it though.
I also want to make it clear to anyone who doesn't know my whole story. We're not bashing "the addict". We're merely reacting to a very violent man. He wasn't just an addict. There are a lot of really good folks out there with really bad addictions. My ex......well he wasn't one of them I'm afraid.
A Brand New Life
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 287
Ya-Ya'a unite ...we applaud and raise the sunflowers to you...You made it...celebrate your wonderful new life and get a new ornament for you tree that will represent your new life...lots of love and well wishes, you're a role model to me...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Great to hear your good news, Kris!! I've been separated from STBexAH for going on 9 months now. Eventually, I'd like to meet Mr. Right, but I'm just not ready yet... still working on me. Thanks for spreading hope for the future!
I also miss your colorful stories around here!
I also miss your colorful stories around here!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
