What to do tomorrow morning?
 

I called my wife from work yesterday afternoon. One sentence into the conversation I suspected she was drunk or upset about something. I left work right away to get home. When I got home she had just returned from picking up my 8 year old from swim team. I asked her to take the breathalyzer I picked up last week: .18
I asked and she gave me the rest of the bottle of vodka she had been drinking.
I shuttled my boys to the rest of their activities, fed them dinner and eventually put them to bed.
Now I'm trying to figure out what to do tomorrow.

It's been getting worse in the past few months. Some counseling, some AA, but things just seem to get worse.
We've been married for 15 years. Went I first met her she was a binge drinker - 1-2 times per year. 12 years ago a DUI seemed seemed to have motivated her to stop drinking too much. Then, came 5 years of addiction to pain killers. Last year was clean as far as I know, but then since February drinking has been really bad.
I feel like I'm stuck in a re-run. On about a 2 week cycle of relapsing, but I'm not really sure if she is making it that long.
I found an AI Anon meeting I will try to attend over lunch tomorrow.
My wife is amazing in so many ways and I love her, but I am passed what I can take now.
I just don't know what to do tomorrow morning.
:c020:
I'm sorry to have rambled on. thanks for this forum and all the people posting on it, I have just been blown away by how many people have stories so similar to mine.

Welcome to SR Blue Fraser :)

I've had no experience in anything like this - I hope other members will find their way here shortly.

Based upon stories I've heard similar to yours tho, I'm glad you've decided on Al Anon tomorrow - if your wife can't or won't act, you still can - it could be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your boys.

Please feel free to look at our Family and Friends of Alcoholics forum if you haven't already too :)

best wishes to you
D

Welcome to SR-I'm glad you've found us. There's a lot of people with wisdom and experience, we all share what we can and help each other through.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine what its like to be in your position but I'm proud of you for realizing that you can't take it anymore.
Its important to put the health and safety of your children-and yourself-first.
And Al-Anon is a great first step!
You haven't rambled at all-and even if you did, its OK. You're welcome to do so here.
My name is Holly and I'm here for you. We all are. :)
Keep us updated on everything.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

I think starting meetings is an excellent idea.

As far as driving drunk with the children in the car, I saw an episode of the Dr. Phil show not long ago and there is a breathalyzer type device that you put in your car. The driver blows into it and the car won't start if it registers that they are drunk. I'm not sure what it is called but you might Google it. I'm wondering if it will work for drugs. I would feel much better if my son had one in his car. I just thought of it now when you posted though.

I'm also always blown away by how many people are in the same position as I am.

KariSue

Welcome Blue... good for you that you know you need seek help. Coming to SR, going to Al-anon... all great moves in my opinion. Addiction is sad. Especially when the personw ith the addiction in our lives is our spouse or child. We love this person soooo much that we want to do anything in our power to make him/her better.... doesn't work. All you can do is protect your kids and take care of you. She has to do the rest. You can and do support and love... but you can't fix it.

Keep coming here. Accept the love and support that is found at Al-anon and keep moving forward.

I know you are hurting beyond belief, but you can not allow her to risk the life of your son and other people on the road while she drives drunk. All it takes is one time to kill your son and/or someone else. Please keep going to meetings but be proactive in this before she kills someone.

Welcome to the SR Family.

Hate so much that you and your children are going thru this! Also hate that your wife has not found true recovery yet - I pray that she will soon.

I hope that you are able to attend the AL-Anon meeting - They have been wonderful for me - Help me to know what was best for me. I have learned - when I take good care of me - then I am helping my family the best that I can. By taking care of me, I mean - learning how to set healthy boundaries, not enable, allowing others to be responsible for their own actions, etc.

It sounded a little weird at first - but it did start to feel a little more comfortable as time went on.

Wishing you and your family prayers of peace and joy,
Keep coming back - don't give up before the miracles happen in you - YOU deserve them!!

Rita

((Blue))

Good morning. Today is yesterdays tomorrow. Today, you get up and take one step at a time. Prioritize the most important things, you, your kids, your job.... and take care of each of them the best you can. You can only take care of your things, not your wife, or her things, just yours. Maybe try to make a plan for alternative help with the kids. And when you are ready, try to think about your bounderies and what you will and will not accept.

Baby steps, one problem at a time.

And Welcome, I'm sorry about the circumstances that bring you here, but I'm glad that your found us.


b

What to do tomorrow...

You wake up. The rest is tomorrow. Don't worry about today what tomorrow will bring. It hasn't happened yet and is still undetermined.

My mother says "don't project". I try to live by that. I try to not anticipate things which are out of my control. I just wait and react as I am faced with things. It helps with my sanity. I used to project and worry about tomorrow. One day, I just said f*** it. I can't control what I can't see and I can't control those things that I didn't place into motion. I can't control others or their actions... so why am I worried about it?

Wake up, have a cup of coffee (or the whole pot, if you're like me), enjoy the sun (unless it's raining then enjoy the rain). The day is new and fresh and waiting for you to join it.