Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Don't stop living your life!

So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationship isn't working, if we face a difficult decision, if we're feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts.

Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution.

Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem.

Sometimes, even if we don't feel like we have let go or can let go, we can act as if we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire.

You don't have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution.

Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don't feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will act as if I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

My son is an addict lost in his addiction, and I haven't heard from him for almost 5 years. I've learned to live with that...I mean really "live"...because I say a prayer each morning giving his care to God and then I live my days well, trusting that he is taken care of.

I could have spent the past 5 years worrying, living in fear, living in the problem of his addiction and my codependency. It wouldn't have changed the outcome and would have continued to make me even sicker.

Choosing to live in the solution, my recovery and faith in God, has given me my life back and I intend to live every moment of it with gratitude and live well as God intended. Life is a precious gift, offering beauty, shared experience, and love. Life is not to be squandered in fear and wasted in worry.

Just for today I will live my life to the fullest, and see the beauty that surrounds me.

Hugs

eggdogg1234

I had a horrible night last night with my AW. Thanks for this post. I just got to work and this is exactly what I needed to read.

bluebelle

This is a really hard issue for me. It's really easy for me to start obsessing and to stop taking care of what I need to do. Like she said, in the long wrong, this makes things worse. I feel like I am working on a solution, because I'm obsessing. I guess I think that if I obsess enough, the answers will come to me. It's one of those really tough lessons that I'm having to learn over and over again.

itisatruth

I did this for so long ~ all the while thinking I was actually making things better. I'd hide out in my house and not return phone calls because 1. I was depressed 2. I didn't want anyone to know what was really going on and 3. I thought I could fix the problem by giving it all my attention, all my time, and all my energy.

I'm working on getting my life back and it feels good!

I know I'm still not all the way there - but I feel a kind of freedom in my life I haven't felt for a long time.

whereami

This really speaks to the heart when dealing with an addict...they call to make sure you are frozen and if you aren't they throw a wrench in just to see if they can muck up the plan for you to just keep swimming...I will not grab the anchor, I will not tread water, I will swim!!

whereami

Here is a perfect example...I am going along fine raising baby alone and working when non supporting deadbeat exa decides to text me saying...cant call since youre always upset about something when we talk. The thing is I am fine with everyone else only reacting to him in anger and so he generalizes me as this sad eeyore type when I really am a happy sweet person. It could have totally froze me for the next day, instead I play with my baby, watch a movie and plan for the next day. Ain't no mountain to high to climb in order to look back and say "How's the view from your puddle down there?"