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Language of Letting Go - May 14 - Honesty

Old 05-14-2009, 01:30 AM
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Ann
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Language of Letting Go - May 14 - Honesty

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Honesty


Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
—Step Five of Al-Anon


Talking openly and honestly to another person about ourselves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical to recovery.

It's important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.

That's how we release our pain. That's how we release old beliefs and feelings. That's how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.

Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from others, and ourselves it is not just a step - it is a leap toward becoming healthy.

Today I will remember that it's okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that it's okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 05-14-2009, 01:35 AM
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I remember sharing my Step 5 with my sponsor and how ashamed and foolish I felt at the time. I couldn't believe the things I had done, all in the name of love for my addicted son. It was as if another person had done it all, because it was so out of character for me, thus indicating the insanity of codependency.

She let me share it all, and then she said to me "What you have done, you did thinking it was helping, when in fact what it was doing was destroying you. You don't have to do that anymore, that's where recovery will help restore you to sanity."

Phewww, what a relief to know that I would be okay...because if my sponsor SAID I would be okay, you better believe it.

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Old 05-14-2009, 09:51 AM
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Every woman that I have shared a 5th step with has also shared a part of her story, part of what she had kept secret for so long till she found recovery. That brought me such relief because I was sure I was the worst person in the world!
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