less than 2 months till the baby arrives

Old 05-13-2009, 10:44 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Toronto, ON
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less than 2 months till the baby arrives

Haven't posted in a while, so thought I'd give an update on my Asister who's expecting in July.
She got back into a methadone program (for oxy,percs)about the same time she got pregnant, though I think its really only the last 5 months or so she's been clean of everything but the methadone. Until they found a level that worked, she was still "topping up" with percocets I think. So while I worry about the effects of the first couple months, the last 4 or 5 she's been a health fanatic: eating right, making all her appointments, reading books, etc. Her methadone doctor/therapist is very pleased, so I guess I should be too.

When the baby is born it will be supervised in the hospital for a few days for signs of methadone withdrawal, but her doctors don't think there will be any lasting effects.

Our family (and her bf's family) who were horrified at the idea of her having a baby back in November, have reached the point of being cautiously happy and this weekend is her baby shower, hosted by another sister.

She's met a Children's Aid worker whom she likes, so she'll have some "official" supervision in addition to the rest of us.

So she's made great progress getting her addiction under control, and in a lot of ways has become a more reliable, stable and much happier and healthier looking person. She also goes to work again regularly and is back in her boss's good books.

On the bad side, man does she ever have incredibly stupid lapses in judgement. She got burned for trying to shoplift about a month ago, and is once again in trouble with her building over falling behind in her rent. The frustrating thing is she still lies to cover her screw-ups. So the money she and her bf could have had set aside for baby stuff and the months she'll be off work have had to go to play frantic catch-up on the rent plus the building's legal fees. That's the second time this year her goofing around with paying rent has almost got them evicted. I could just bang my head against the desk thinking about it.

But I tell myself, 6 months isn't enough time to unlearn 10 years or more of destructive behaviour patterns, and try to look at the the positives.

What I really wish is that the baby could stay in the womb another year or so to give her a bit more time to get her head in order before all the newborn stress hits her!
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by OhBrother View Post
But I tell myself, 6 months isn't enough time to unlearn 10 years or more of destructive behaviour patterns, and try to look at the the positives.
I have to remind myself 'progress not perfection' all the time with my RAD. I want to bang my head too every now and then, but it's more about me than her. She's 21 and a lot of those learned behaviors were because I allowed them when she was underage. She gets to clean up my mess along with hers
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:08 PM
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All and all good news, I hope everything is alright with the baby and she stays clean. The worry must be so hard on the family. Julie
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