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Is this normal or should i be concerned?

Old 05-12-2009, 10:29 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: oklahoma
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Is this normal or should i be concerned?

My wife is clean for the first time since my son was born 17 months ago.She has about a 10 year abuse history and is 65 days clean after detox, and goes to meetings daily.She has made new friends and stays out late on a regular basis hanging out, our lives together have gotten worse since she got sober.She goes to 7 oclock meetings and comes home at midnight , she says she needs this.She never even tells me when she will be home and may call before she leaves if im lucky. Our personal life together does not exist, sex life , friendship etc. Is she getting better by avoiding me and the kids or is something going on?
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:35 PM
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I don't know what 'normal' is.

What I can tell you is that for about the first 6 to 9 months in Recovery, when I was not working I 'lived' in the meetings and the 'coffee meetings' after the meetings, sometimes not getting home until 1 or 2 am. I learned so much, especially in the meetings after the meetings (at the coffee shop) and I have to tell you, I felt safe with those folks that were also trying to learn how to LIVE sober.

At 65 days, I would suspect that your wife is still very 'foggy' in the head and that her brain probably feels like 'mush.'

Stopping using is 'just the beginning.' There is a fairly long period of time that goes by before the newly recovering start to function fairly well. There are a whole lot of emotions and feelings yet to come for your wife that she is going to have to learn how to deal with without chemicals.

At 65 days she is probably hanging on by her fingernails, and some of the folks at meetings are helping her to hang on.

Just my take on what I went through in those early months.

Read the 'sticky's' at the top of this forum, read the other posts.

Maybe some Al-Anon or Nar Anon might help you understand a bit more.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,
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