Suspicious

I had started to kinda sorta believe hubby wasnt taking pills. Other than persistent small pupils (not pinpoint but too small for the light level) and change in energy & mood I hadnt seen anything concrete.

The change in energy & mood I would think 'oh he has no energy today, he must not have any pills' or 'oh he feels good enough to work in the garden after working all day, he must have some pills) Then I would feel bad because I was seeing him taking ibuprofen and I thought surely he wouldnt take those just to trick me into thinking he needed 'something' for his aching back or whatever.
Then I talked to a friend whose husband had also went thru addiction. She fought this for over 2 years and her husband ended up going thru in house treatment and is now on methadone for his pain. When I mentioned that my husband must really be getting off of the pills ok by himself because he is depending on the ibuprofen for pain management she told me her husband used it to trick her. He would take them even tho he was still taking the opiates. (I am telling you, there must be some kind of an addict handbook out there)

I wonder if they do that because they are really trying to trick us? I have also wondered if because hubby is trying to so hard to not be on them or taking them around us that he actually thinks he needs the ibuprofen to help with the pain till he can take a pill. Or maybe he is just out of them.

Even now, knowing that her husband took otc pain meds all the while taking opiates I still wonder, is he or isnt he? One thing I know for sure, this whole mess has destroyed my trust in him and even if he IS clean I dont know if I can ever get to the point where I am not wondering. I think that might be as harmful to our marriage as the pills were... are... might be.

Freedom1990

I no longer try to figure out why my oldest AD does the things she does. In short, she's an active addict, and with that come all sorts of undesirable behaviors, including lying and manipulation.

Finding a program of recovery for myself, one that taught me to take my eyes off of her, and put the focus on me and what I could do to improve my life, in spite of what she was/wasn't doing, was the greatest gift I gave myself.

I also realized in working my own recovery that having an active addict in my home was no longer an option, even if the addict is my daughter.

My life is so much better today, free of worry, anger, chaos, lies, and manipulation!

justtired

Suspicious ~ Just because you see him take Ibuprofen does not mean he is not abusing other meds. My abf takes ibuprofen every day and is definitely abusing his other pills. I think part of it is that addiction makes the addict THINK they have even more pain than they really do. My abf knows that in addiction the brain can cause the body to have pain because it it craving the drug. Because of this, he takes ibuprofen sometimes when he hurts to prove to himself (and probably me) that he is taking something for legitimate pain and not just to take more pills. I'm sorry the trust has been lost from your marriage. Only time will tell if he is still abusing his meds. but sooner or later it will be clear. Addiction is progressive and it's pretty hard to hide from the person you live with.

Suspicious

I guess they think the ibuprofen is better than the acetaminophen. It just blows my mind to think that they will take all these other pills and then just throw in some extra stuff just for the heck of it.


I do know that eventually I will know for sure if he is still using. I also know that if he isnt I would have to admit that it is just my suspicious nature thinking that he is. (honestly dont think that is the case tho lol) I know that he wont be able to hide it forever and that it will only grow bigger. I think that because I had the light bulb to go off relatively early that he might be able to get away with it longer before it really gets super bad. So many people I have talked to say that I am lucky that I realized it this early. He was still just taking the 7.5 vicodin, by mouth, about 6 a day. 2 of my friends didnt realize what was going on till it had went on to harder stuff, one on oxy's and the others husband had already gotten into heroin. So, yeah I know he wont be able to hide it forever but he has less of a habit to hide from me (so to speak) so he might be able to keep it hidden for a bit longer.

Suspicious

I first read this post yesterday and I immediately was hurt by it. I wanted to respond but I didnt... I let myself think about it. I realized why I was so offended by it. I could almost hear my hubby saying those exact words if I asked him about the otc pain meds. "guy cant even take a few motrin for a bad back without you getting all suspicious!"

Today when I read the post I can more clearly see the question 'is any of this working for YOU?' and the answer is NO. I am working every day to build up my money so that I can afford to get me & the kids out, all the while saying if by the time I have enough if I really think that he is off of them I will just rename my emergency fund. Deep down I think I always knew that I would NEVER stop the wondering. I think I felt guilty because I see so many ladies on here who have busted their BUTT's trying to get their addicts the help they need to keep their family whole and I never felt that. I immediately felt the overwhelming urge to grab my kids and run away as fast as I could. I feel guilty because I jumped straight to it is his problem and if he doesnt want to get the help I am out of here. I WANT to be supportive in my desire for him to get recovery but the truth is that I am terrified to take the chance that he may or may not ever get off of them. I feel like emotionally I am abandoning him when he needs me most and I know that because of that as soon as I have the funds I will jump from emotional abandonment to physical abandonment because the what if's scare me too much to stick around.

Hope87

Hey,

I'm new here...don't know if you read my post yet but I'm kinda in the same situation. I'm not 100% sure my guys is popping pills or God knows what. It drives me nuts too and I'm also getting to a point where I don't trust him. I believe he is getting them from some kid we play cards with. It's such a touchy thing though...you don't want to go around accusing if they are seriously trying to stay clean cause that's not good encouragement but at the same time you don't want to be taken a fool in the situation. My guy has back pain and was taken traminal (non narcotic) then he's been takin advil all the time which is causing him stomach problems and he still limps around in pain a lot of the times so then I get to wondering....is he really taken other stuff he shouldn't, am I over reacting or am I just trying to pretend everything's hunky dory. But I have often thought too is he walking around in real pain and taking advil for a reason or would he really be trying to trick me....Hugs and good luck....try to keep smiling throught the crap


PS I couldn't agree more about the addict handbook I think every addict should come with one! Hope no one takes offense....just really hard for us here on the other side.

cessy68

No handbook, just the course of 'what they do' - if any us people who had loved ones addicted to opiates (pills) all posted our posts here..... on this thread, they would all look the SAME!!

I won't go into my gory details of my life, but your above paragraph is EXACTLY what I go through EVERY DAY.... I even talk to my friends and say, "oh it's a good day today, he has his pills, he's doing work around the house and is happy"... or "its a bad day, he's laying on the couch, he's got no energy, he's acting 'aggitated' at the slightest bump in the road, he must be out of pills".

This is our life when living with a pill popper.

I don't know what to say, other than perhaps we should all meet up and run for the hills together.......... i'm just praying for the strength every day to say to myself "be like forrest gump and "run cessy run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's not going to change, nor will you, nor will the situation, unless we do something to get out ourselves.

Love
Cess