Mis

To the mom:

Who lies all the time.
Still does drugs in front of my five year old sister.
Has attacked me when I was just a teenager to get money to buy her drugs.
Who stole my pain pills when I was seventeen years old after I was out of the hospital for only two days and in a back brace so she could take them herself.
Who owes me almost three thousand dollars and wont pay me back even though I'm about to be a single mom.
Who tells me I'll never finish my bachelors degree when I only have four more classes to go.
Who calls me up drunk and tells me that my baby's father is going to kill me and my baby and that I need to run away.
Who tells my grandparents that hardly know me that I do cocaine because really thats what she's doing.

The list could go on and on, but I don't want to get too depressed.

Drugs kill relationships and crush those people around them.

Mis

In fact, I think its the people around people who use that suffer more. They hardly feel because they numb themselves.

jane_668

Miss, I can completely understand what you're saying. You can hate the disease in her but don't hate her. She's sick and she doesnot do that because she's bad or on purpose. It's hard to understand and even giver her excuses but imagine her as mentally sick until she sobers up. I'm sure the really her would never do that. If addicts in active addiction were able to control their actions then they wouldnot go all the way to lose their careers, families and eventually their lives. Active addicts are like robbots preset to ask for drugs/alcohol every few hours. They can do nothing about that. It is something way beyond their will. When they talk, it's drugs talking and not them.

How do I know that? Because I'm an addict in recovery and i used to cause pain to my parents.At that point, I was just lost. I love them more than life itself. But I was so trapped in my addiction that I found no way out. They would keep telling me "don't you see how drugs are destroying and degrading you". I knew that from the beggining but I couldnot do anything about it. Do you know frustrating it's to know that you're destroying everything and yet you can do nothing about that. I felt like a criminal waiting for his death penalty to be executed. I was expecting that hour every day.

When will she get better? When she's through with drugs. Till then you cannot make her get clean . Some never get it . You can Only take care of you and leave her for her HP. Only God knows what is best for us.

Love
Jane

jane_668

And Miss, I know what it means not to have a mom. My mom is schezophranic. I had no one to take care of me. I raised my young brothers. It must be very hard for you espcially that you'll be a single mom. This is when you need her most. I see love in your post. You want her to be there for you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I hate Mother's day. It's one of the worst days in my life. It reminds how much I need her and miss having mom. Don't let the restment get you. I used because of my mom. I felt it was unfair and almost destroyed my life at the age of 25. So resentments are not healthy. Pray for her and for you. I'll be praying for both of you.

Ann

Mis, my heart and prayers go out for you and for your mother too. Yours is a good reminder that Mother's Day is not a Hallmark occasion for many of us, and that mother's too need our prayers and compassion, even if we do not approve of their actions.

I posted this on another forum this morning, but thought it may be appropriate to bring it to your thread. Please know that you will be in my special prayers on Mother's Day, as will all the moms here who are living less than Hallmark lives...

God our Creator, we pray:
for new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility ;
for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting;
for those who are tired, stressed or depressed;
for those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family;
for those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty;
for those whose children have physical, mental or emotional disabilities;
for those who have children they do not want;
for those who raise children on their own;
for those who have lost a child;
for those who care for the children of others;
for those whose children have left home;
and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled.
Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender,
and that they may lead their children to know and do what is good,
living not for themselves alone, but for God and for others.

Amen.