Language of Letting Go - April 27 - Letting Go of the Need to Control
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - April 27 - Letting Go of the Need to Control
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of the Need to Control
The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways, and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.
—Codependent No More
Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.
If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?
What would we do that we're not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?
What decisions would we make?
What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?
If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another person's behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?
What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that we'd stop?
How would we treat ourselves differently?
Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?
If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it.
Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set others and myself free.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways, and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.
—Codependent No More
Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.
If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?
What would we do that we're not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?
What decisions would we make?
What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?
If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another person's behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?
What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that we'd stop?
How would we treat ourselves differently?
Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?
If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it.
Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set others and myself free.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I didn't realize how much time I was using in trying to control others, until I stopped and tried to fill the void.
At first it was awkward, I hadn't thought of what I could do for ME in years. I began with meetings, and then joining the group for coffee afterwards, taking in a movie with a friend, reconnecting with my family...soon I was living MY life for the first time ever. How freeing that felt.
Hugs
At first it was awkward, I hadn't thought of what I could do for ME in years. I began with meetings, and then joining the group for coffee afterwards, taking in a movie with a friend, reconnecting with my family...soon I was living MY life for the first time ever. How freeing that felt.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Living my life for the first time ever.... I know that feeling and man sometimes it is hard to figure out what to do with my time. I start to feel very lonely when I am doing things... like I should be but I am alone. Ideas, suggestions. Thanks!
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