Here we go...
 

pray for me to have strength, I know the 3c's are there but when your in crisis it's hard to stay focused on them i know that my daughter has tracks on her arms...i just don't know what to do, or if i should do, i don't know the difference between the truth and a lie right now i have been lied to soooooo much:c020:

Okay, track marks on arms = using.

Fill us in a little more on what is going on. Is she living with you? How old is she? Talk to us. :ghug :ghug

thought maybe you might all be around today and can offer me some advice about where to go from here.....my addicted daughter got into a car accident late yesterday afternoon about 300 yards from the house from the looks of the car he must have been flying but landed after rolling it over in a big wet ditch the state police and the ambulance were called my daughter was a passenger in the car the state trooper found spoons in the ditch and im not sure if they found the drugs or not we live in a really rural area w/o many services so to tell you the truth i am hoping that they found something to make an arrest over (don't want to sound neg but this has to stop) i had laid down some rules after she spent a week in addiction/crisis center but most of them have gone by the wayside except her getting herself into a program it only took a month but she's supposed to start next week..as for the freak drug dealing bf i don't want him calling my house anymore...got any good advice for me?? I'd like nothing better than to show her the door but where does she go?? there isn't a town for 15 miles in each direction i need your advice, your support and your love

Sharon,

It's just that simple and it's just that hard.

Hugs and prayers,
Passion

The saga continues. So now my daughter is in a tx program. She did get into trouble with the law as a result of the auto accident (drug parafanalia found outside the car). The driver of the car is a dealer and she's IN LOVE w/ him. He's hiding out in another rehab becuase he's been in trouble before. He and his mother are keeping my daughter very close because if she tells the truth the bf will go to jail for a very long time. Yesterday my daughter called me and told me that she isn't going to tell the truth and that lawyer wants 3K to defend her. Who's got 3K??? Not me. She asked me to call the lawyer today and find out what the retainer was. Shouldn't she be doing this? I can't put myself out there any further for all this mess she's gotten herself into. She just graduated from college and I cosigned her student loans so Im already stuck w/ that. Beside she doesn't see or can't see that the bf and his mother are just using her. She's an addict what other reason would the mother have?? She's only known her for about 8 weeks. Hello..... I just want to share and have you support me if you can or tell me why you don't think Im right

dont spend a dime - she can get a public defender if she doesnt have the money herself. She can call an atty - you dont have to do that. Let her figure out the bf issue on her own - any interference from you will push her closer to him. She's safe now and you should just let her handle this on her own at this point. You raised her, put her through school, your job is done and its time for her to take over her own life. Where she lives - whether she uses - these are decisions she has to make and you have no responsibility at all for it.

I have to agree...she's old enough to handle this all by herself. If she doesn't want to testify about her bf, well that's between her and her HP. I would not spend the money when she is perfectly capable of being defended by a public defender.

As someone told me recently about my addict future step son :codiepolice

Huge hugs to you! I know what you are going through is tough. Let her know that you love her and that you know she will figure it out.

Hugs and prayers, HG

This sounds cold but if your daughter is using she is in love with the (DEALER).If your daughter don't want to help herself out don't feel guilty if you don't shell out money for a lawyer or maybe if she's willing to tell truth you might consider helping her if she tell's the truth.Her boyfriend sounds like someone that needs to come off the streets.It's people like him is why your daughter has the track marks.

I agree with all the above. She is where she needs to be. She can figure it out. If it was drugs she sure as heck would be able to find them for herself and damn you if you stood in between her and them. Nothing changes if nothing changes. So this time.. don't do anything. Let her figure it out.

Sit on those hands Mama. :)

Hard but you have to.
XOXOX broken

Agree. Let her figure it out on her own. She is an adult, and she is making bad choices. She needs to feel the consequences of them in order to grow up. Don't hide her, don't shield her. And don't let the dealer in your home. My rule would be, if you bring him here, or drugs here, you can't be here. Point blank.

Love,
KJ

She can call the attorney, and she can figure it out, end of story.

My oldest AD tried to pull that crap on me. She was calling everyone she knew the last time she went to jail, wanting someone to contact her attorney.

I don't even accept the collect calls from jail.

I also agree. Let this be HER crisis.

When I was arrested, I used a public defender. I kept running back to the ABF, who is perfectly content to smoke crack for the rest of his life. It wasn't until I had enough of the consequences of my actions, that I was able to chose recovery and walk away from the ABF and make him an XABF. Had anyone made it easier for me, I'd probably still be using.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

I have to agree with the others on this, but am sending prayers for you that you can have some peace. Hugs, Marle

(((sharon55)))
Believe me, I know how angry, and frightened you are for your daughter, I have been there in dealing with my son.

But I know this for a fact, from the mistakes I made along the way: If you interfere and try to get her help, and meet her demands, you are enabling her. The sooner you back off, and just pretend it's another day, the sooner she will hit her bottom, and hopefully become the daughter you knew.

Go on with your life, let her fight her own battles, and give yourself some time, and peace.


Addiction, sucks.

P.S. Alanon meetings are a Godsend.


Hugs and hugs,

Diane

Last sunday I went to visit my daughter at the rehab and I said very plainly that I would not be comming today since (Mothers Day) is my granddaughters birthday and she turns 7 I am going to her birthday party. Yesterday AD calls me and says is anybody comming to see me tomorrow? I need..... Then I thought about making the trip to bring her the stuff she wanted but the driving time is awful an hour to rehab an hour back an hour to my other daughters house for the party and I thought...she's waited this long. She told me that they will be releasing her Wed/Thurs and she needs to come and get some of her belongings she's going to the YWCA and she will be in outpatient tx 4 days aweek. So if I have to take a day off from work and go get her and take her back she can get what she need then right? It isn't like what she wants is life threatening anyway....pads/tamps (Im sure they have that stuff right???) and makeup. What kind of power play is this anyway??