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I could spit nails- Im so dang mad

Old 04-23-2009, 07:46 PM
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Angry I could spit nails- Im so dang mad

I am so mad I cant see straight. I just got off the phone with my daghter's dad. Savannah lives with him during the school year and me in the summer. We have joint custody. As some of you remember, Savannahand her friend Amber where at my house last weekend and snuck out drinking and driving(underage), and were in a car wreck. Amber is really hurt and still in the hospital under going surgery after surgery. Amber's family is as close to family as one can get without blood ties. We are so close.

Well I just talked to Savannah's dad and he said he is going to talk to a lawyer friday. He is going to sue my neighbor to see what he can squeeze out of this hell. I just cant believe it. Amber's parents are suffering enough. They dont need this. John said he wasnt sueing them, just the insurance company. Why is he doing this? I know why. Its cause he is always looking to make a buck off anyone's misery and this one of the many reasons I left him all those years ago. He is one of a kind. *******.

I cant see what he hopes to gain. Both girls were at my house. They were both drinking. They both got into that car. If anything this is on my door stoop. I am the one to blame if anyone for those girls leaving. (Aside from the girls) But they are minors, Im the adult and they were in my care. Not his. Not my neighbors. MINE!

I hate him for this. Now I have to go over to my neighbors while they sit at their daughters bedside in so much distress and tell them, some how, god help that John is going to sue their insurance. Johns only words to me that he thought would pasify me were 'Well Im not sueing them personally, just the insurance. I'd do it if it were my own mother.' And he has done that too. Always money grubbing selfish *******. I have so many foul names I could call him but wont say them here. Blood sucking leach. I could commit mayhem and murder right now.

Anyone got any ideas here? What can I do?
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:09 PM
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God's got really big hands that I can put anything in, especially stuff that is eating my lunch.

Your ex is going to do what he's going to do. I hear some fear in your post about what might happen to your neighbors over this.

Replace that fear with faith, stay in the moment, turn your ex over to God, and take some deep breaths, okay? :ghug :ghug
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:13 PM
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What baffles me about some people is that they will "jump" for $1... ("Cut off their Nose to Spite their Face"). YOU are NOT the fool in this traumatic situation. His actions are NOT YOUR ACTIONS. I know that because he was once your partner & you feel embarrassed by his actions. But remember, most people will be able to discern between YOUR care, concern, love, empathy, and sentiment and HIS money-grubbing BS... I used to become incredibly embarrased by my addict's money-grubbing behavior, believing that it was a reflection upon me. But later I realized by their reactions that most people were mature enough to discern the difference between his money-grubbing and my true emotions/acts... It wasn't ME, and they understood that. It was a wake-up call to realize that *so many* people were able to see the difference between the two of us (even when I couldn't).... Hugs...
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:25 PM
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Its not your fault Gwen, and if he decides to follow through, he may not get as far as he thinks.
I would warn the neighbors, just so it doesn't blindside them, but everyone thinks they can cry foul, and many aren't successful.

I agree with Freedom...hand this over, keep faith and hope for the best.
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:28 PM
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Im still so mad. Ive been trying to turn him over to my HP but I still want to snatch him back and drag his face down an asphalt benieth my truck.
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by GwenMarie30 View Post
Im still so mad. Ive been trying to turn him over to my HP but I still want to snatch him back and drag his face down an asphalt benieth my truck.
Remind me never to tick you off!
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:45 PM
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Im sorry that was really rather violent. I will keep my thoughts to myself. Sorry about that.
I am so angry that he could make a back off this accident. He isnt the one to sit by Amber's bedside or see the look on Amber's parents or hold Ambers mom while she cries. He could careless that Savannah was really even hurt. The 1st thing in his mind is how he is gonna make money off this. I just hate him for this. I had such a good friendship with him, but that wont never be again. Not if he does this.

I dont know how to even tell my neighbors. I never thought John would do this. My neighbors are at the hospital right this minute while their daughter is finishing her 3rd surgery tonight. Can he even do this? She wasnt in his care. She was at my house.
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:47 PM
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OK Gwen, back the truck up.

If you want, check with a lawyer, but since you both have custody of your daughter (ie as in are both The Guardians of her), both of you would have to sue on HER behalf for it to be a viable suit.

Next about the only thing he could sue for were her 'medical bills' if the insurance does not pay them.

Third, if anything and I mean anything came of the suit, the Court would put that money in a TRUST for your daughter when she turns 18.

So check with an attorney to make sure the above is true in your state, then let him YAMMER away.

I M H O It ain't gonna happen, he's just 'yankin' your chain one more time.

Just tell your neighbors the truth, your EX is being an a-hole one more time and yammering about 'trying' to sue their insurance company. Make light of it, and talk to an attorney for clarification.

Remember we cannot control others (in this case your EX) just ourselves.

Love and hugs,
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:55 PM
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Jeez more legal stuff. Im bout sick and tired of paying lawyer bills but this is well worth it to me. My lawyer doesnt come cheap($300 an hour) but if I can stop him in his tracks it would be worth it. Who knows my lawyer may just laugh at me and tell me to get off the phone and tell me John cant do jack.

Im still fumming. But I hope your right Laurie. Thx.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:31 PM
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Hey GwenMarie30---

In your post, you said, "...I cant see what he hopes to gain. Both girls were at my house. They were both drinking. They both got into that car. If anything this is on my door stoop. I am the one to blame if anyone for those girls leaving. (Aside from the girls) But they are minors, Im the adult and they were in my care. Not his. Not my neighbors. MINE!..."

I'm a little hesitant in replying to your post since I don't have any children. I believe the assumption is that if one doesn't have children then they can't 'know' anything about children.......

...Anyway....while reading the above portion of your OP, I had an awful forboding....? What does he hope to gain...? I was wondering if this 'suit' thang could be just a way of him getting 'at you'.....? If he's a half-way intelligent guy, he should realize that if he sues the neighbors, the first thing their attorney would do is counter-sue, placing the liability on you....hmmm!

Well, I didn't want to stir up something......something that could just be my wid imagination.....I was sorry to read about what happened to your daughter and her friend, and I hope things start getting better, for all concerned.....and I'm sorry if I've brought up something in this post that is off-putting for you.....I truly wish you all the best.


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Old 04-23-2009, 09:36 PM
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he said he is going to talk to a lawyer friday.
Just an idea, but before you let this make you crazy why don't you
wait until Friday, after he finds out what his lawyer tells him.
Until then who knows what is going to happen.

Also Nolo.com is a good law site.
You can find a lot of Factual info. on there.

Take some deep breaths.....
:praying
I know it is hard but it is what it is.......
You have your girls alive, with that you all can deal
with one big "Jerk", Yea?

You could be dealing with a lot more, and you have
dealt with a lot more.
Whatever comes your way, you can and you guys will
handle it. Just like you always do.
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Old 04-23-2009, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by NoelleR View Post
Hey GwenMarie30---

In your post, you said, "...I cant see what he hopes to gain. Both girls were at my house. They were both drinking. They both got into that car. If anything this is on my door stoop. I am the one to blame if anyone for those girls leaving. (Aside from the girls) But they are minors, Im the adult and they were in my care. Not his. Not my neighbors. MINE!..."

I'm a little hesitant in replying to your post since I don't have any children. I believe the assumption is that if one doesn't have children then they can't 'know' anything about children.......

...Anyway....while reading the above portion of your OP, I had an awful forboding....? What does he hope to gain...? I was wondering if this 'suit' thang could be just a way of him getting 'at you'.....? If he's a half-way intelligent guy, he should realize that if he sues the neighbors, the first thing their attorney would do is counter-sue, placing the liability on you....hmmm!

Well, I didn't want to stir up something......something that could just be my wid imagination.....I was sorry to read about what happened to your daughter and her friend, and I hope things start getting better, for all concerned.....and I'm sorry if I've brought up something in this post that is off-putting for you.....I truly wish you all the best.


NoelleR
Thanks Noelle For going out on a limb and thinking about that too. I have thought of the same thing too.

All I can say to that is-----BRING IT!

Just dont do this to them. Not now. These people are the best kind of people I have in my life. They have a love that I envy that only my grandparents shared 60 years ago. There is nothing they wouldnt do for anyone. W are so close and I feel like this is a personal attack.

As for waiting till friday he said he's not gonna tell anyone what else is said or done. Well fine. I dont need to know anyway. I dont want to watch him blood sucking mouth move another second than I have to.

I will see how this goes.

And thanks Done for that site, I will check it out.
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Old 04-23-2009, 10:18 PM
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Wow I havent been this mad in I dont know how long...... I dont usually get so out of control where Id like to do harm. I think I need to get off this puter and go talk to my HP. I wont be in any frame of mind to be benificial to anyone tonight. Goodnight folks.
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Old 04-23-2009, 11:17 PM
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OMG, Gwen, As soon as I read what your X wants to do, well it just brought back so many memories. At the age of 19 1/2 my AD & her friend were in a very serious auto accident, both drugs & alcohol involved. Both girls flown to shock trauma. Both girls were living with me. Suddenly, the friends father wants to be in her life and of course, file suit. Yep, I was just as angry as you are right now. My AD spent a week in shock trauma, 2 weeks in-patient rehab & 8 weeks in out-patient rehab. (learning how to walk & write) You D*amn right I was angry. Both girls got high, both girls got into that car. Today, 10 1/2 years later I look back and Thank God that both girls are alive.

So, sweetie, take a deep breath, hmmm maybe several....then let it go. Just as Done said "it is what it is"

Hugs,
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Old 04-23-2009, 11:57 PM
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Cool

What..? me....? out on a limb....? Shoot, that seems to be my natural habitat lately....lol

You say, "...I think I need to get off this puter and go talk to my HP..." Now, that sounds like a plan, stan.... (o:


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Old 04-24-2009, 06:28 AM
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Gwen - where did they get the alcohol? Your ex may be opening a can of worms for his own daughter if she was party to obtaining the alcohol. Its not just who was driving the car its where the alcohol came from in these cases with minors. For example if you allow teens to have a party and provide them with alcohol then you are the one sued not the insurance company. If minors buy liquor from a store then its the store that is responsible. If the girls stole the liquor then they are both responsible. If your daughter is the one that obtained the alcohol then he himself could be liable as her parent. i'm sure your daughters medical bills can be paid from insurance but since they were both minors and she was a willing party to the whole thing its going to be pretty hard to get anything else.

I'm in the legal profession and there are always those people who no matter what happens look for the edge to get something. there is also the case that with the medical bills and car damage there may not be much left over for his pocketbook and in that case the money comes from the parents so he is suing them. I really dont think he is going to be able to get much - especially if you are standing by saying this is both of their faults and not just the other girl. Without you on his side in the lawsuit he'll have an even more difficult fight.

these litigious people really bother me - they are what causes all of our insurance to be so expensive and medical bills to be so high (becasue of malpractice). I did personal injury law for a while and just didnt sleep well at night becuase of all the scams so now i do real estate - i just sleep better knowing i'm not helping scammers. I just hope his attorney isnt an ambulance chaser and will set him straight. If he does get some money it better go into a trust for your daughter.
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Old 04-24-2009, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Serenity Bound View Post
Today, 10 1/2 years later I look back and Thank God that both girls are alive.
Mad beats sad.

CLMI
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Old 04-24-2009, 07:33 AM
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Going along with what winnie said. If the liquor came from the other girls home, her parents could get a nice fine out of it. Here in Pa. two boys drank at the one boys house, stole to liquor from his parents they weren't even home, both got drunk, arrested and the parents ended up with a $2,000.00 fine.
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Old 04-24-2009, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by winnie12 View Post
Gwen - where did they get the alcohol? Your ex may be opening a can of worms for his own daughter if she was party to obtaining the alcohol. Its not just who was driving the car its where the alcohol came from in these cases with minors. For example if you allow teens to have a party and provide them with alcohol then you are the one sued not the insurance company. If minors buy liquor from a store then its the store that is responsible. If the girls stole the liquor then they are both responsible. If your daughter is the one that obtained the alcohol then he himself could be liable as her parent. i'm sure your daughters medical bills can be paid from insurance but since they were both minors and she was a willing party to the whole thing its going to be pretty hard to get anything else.

I'm in the legal profession and there are always those people who no matter what happens look for the edge to get something. there is also the case that with the medical bills and car damage there may not be much left over for his pocketbook and in that case the money comes from the parents so he is suing them. I really dont think he is going to be able to get much - especially if you are standing by saying this is both of their faults and not just the other girl. Without you on his side in the lawsuit he'll have an even more difficult fight.

these litigious people really bother me - they are what causes all of our insurance to be so expensive and medical bills to be so high (becasue of malpractice). I did personal injury law for a while and just didnt sleep well at night becuase of all the scams so now i do real estate - i just sleep better knowing i'm not helping scammers. I just hope his attorney isnt an ambulance chaser and will set him straight. If he does get some money it better go into a trust for your daughter.
My daughter was party to taking the alcohol along with Amber from Amber's house. They snuck out while I was sleeping and Amber's parents were asleep too. They both told the state trooper that they stole the beer from Ambers house. And there is not a chance in hell I will stand next to John and let him do this to my neighbors. Thanks Winnie for your input. I need to hear something good right now.
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Old 04-24-2009, 10:59 AM
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States establish minimum requirements for bodily injury policies which protect the insured if they are sued by someone injured in an accident, caused by a covered driver. Policies typically pay the insured party's legal and court cost and damages up to the policy limit.

Both of our states have relatively low basic liability policy requirements. I believe it's in the $40-50,000 level per accident ( not person) for bodily injury.

Amber's parents may or may not carry more than the minimum.

Having said this, all policies have exclusions and limitations. Amber did not have permission to drive. Amber was not legally able to drive without a licenced adult in the car. Amber was drunk. It is quite possible that the insurer will determine Amber was not a covered driver and deny any claims.

Case closed ?
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