Yesterdaysnumb

My opinion on this kind of thing isn't popular but I sincerely believe that there can come a time when a mother, father, wife, husband or any other loved one can truly forgive and not only that but look past the past of their addict and truly TRULY move forward. I believe that you love your son dearly. And only you know what you went through with him. But I'm reminded of the story of the prodigal son and how it was only when he was down and out that he returned to the home of his father. And his father didn't ask him any questions, he opened his home with loving arms. And he treated his son as if the sin had never occured. But true repentence and humbleness had to occur first and foremost. We don't know what happened after the story... we don't know if the son went back to his evil ways. So I can only assume that to God, what happened afterwards doesn't matter. What really matters is the love that was displayed by the father to his son despite his shortcomings of his past. I believe that we should love others as Christ loves us. He doesn't force himself upon us, he waits until we are TRULY humble and ready... and then he embraces us with open arms... no questions asked.

Angelic17

Thanks people, all of you, for encouraging me, and helping me to understand that my son, must grow up, and make his own way. I feel a little bit better today, and I find myself crying over other moms that have addicted children in far worse shape than my boy. It just tears me up inside. My heart is alot bigger than me. I want to help everyone, and I don't think that is because I am co-dependant, which I probably am. I think it's because I am good hearted, and I truly care about all people.

Hydrogirl, I pray all of the mysteries of the rosary, because I pray daily, and I read the stations of the cross in church, and I get to pray a decade of the rosary out loud. We are a large group and we all take turns. I kind of favor the Glorius Mysteries, and I think that's because the Sorrowful Mysteries are so sad and painful. Jesus suffered so much, and his mother watched on. Imagine what she went through, watching her son being beaten and tortured to death. I pray for others when I pray, and the gift for me is peace and comfort knowing that GOD is always there for me. Faith is believing in something you can't see, and many times I have questioned if GOD is really there. HE IS
and he always answers my prayers. Thank you for posting. I pray for all the addicts in active addiction, and also for the ones struggling with recovery. We also pray for all of our soldier, world peace, and babies that are in danger of being aborted. Amongst other things. Prayer is a gift to me. And my church family are supportive and wonderful people. They have become my very best friends, and most of them are over the age of 80. God Bless them all. I love them. They keep on praying for my son.

Angelic17

Yesterday, Thank You so much for replying to my post. I now know what a tough subject this is, and everyone has a different opinion. Most say it's a mistake to take my boy in, and I think they're right. I am not punishing him, or not forgiving him, by not taking him back in. I am teaching him, that I am a mother of my word, and that he is now 28 years old, and it's time for him to make his way on his own. I took him in addicted, and ran ragged to get him clean, and then he went back out, after he was told, I will not do this ever again. So, I am like the prodigal sons father in a way, because I took him in all messed up. Forgave him for hurting himself and my family, and got him the help he needed. When I gave him the ultimatum, that if he relapsed, he couldn't come back, he didn't listen. And consequences come to those who don't listen. At least in the real world it's that way. I just like you, being the mom that I am, would Love to take my son back. But I do know, that I will stunt his growth by doing so. He won't be in a halfway house, and he wont die if I don't take him back here. He has alot of help from my sister, who does so much work for NA. And my older brother, who is a real man, and never touched a drug in his life. He is the one that set my son straight this time with some tough love. Yesterday, I have communicated with you enough to know what a beautiful person you are inside and out. You have a heart as big as the ocean. Your faith in GOD is an inspiration to me. I am so glad you posted here. I may not always hear, what I want to hear. But I always respect a difference of opinion. Thanks so much, Your a great friend.

Angelic17

Anvilhead, I thank you for your words, and I agree with you 100%. My son has been out of my home since he was 18. Like I said before, he came back for one year with a severe drug problem. I helped (enabled) as much as I could. When I realized that all I did was delay his recovery. I made a decision, not to allow him back here. I kept my word. He knows it. It hurts me. But, I will not allow him to live with me again. He is almost 30, and he does have a set. LOL. Unfortunately, all of this doesn't hurt any less. A mother's heart wants to keep giving. But, like Ann said, I am going to give and love him right into his grave. So, I will give no more. But continue to love him from afar. What he does with his life is his choice. And I accept that now. I have faced, what I had to face. I never lied, or covered up for him. And I never will. I'm done. Sure wish my heart was done. Nobody ever warned me that motherhood would be so painful. I'll survive, and I will eventually get over it. Thanks for the tough love anvilhead. You are right, and I know it. I knew it before I posted, but the feedback has been validating. Thank You all for posting and expressing your opinions. It means alot to me. How's Della? Woof

Angelic17

Omg i love her< i would just kiss her to death