Nina Kay

I am so sorry for your very traumatic loss of your beloved only child. I'm happy to hear that he had a son, so that there is a real part of him still with you. Such a special treasure. I now have a 4 month old grandson from my addict son who has literally come to the brink of death in the hospital too many times to count, whom I was sure would never live anywhere near this long and I was certain he would never have a child. He did, and as much as I worry about what the child's life will be like with an addict/alcoholic daddy, I am so grateful that he has a son to multiply his chances of carrying on for quite some time. I can't imagine what would become of me, if I did happen to cross that line that I've come right up to, so many times, and actually lost my son to death. I do know that I would hold that part of him that is his son, so close that he would have to remind me to let him loose enough to take a breath.

I also really hope that you'll listen to all of the others about getting your antidepressant changed until you are able to find the one that works for you. I also hope that you will seek the grief counseling and the meetings with others who have experienced your kind of extreme grief. I know that for me, just laying out in the sunshine & fresh air and crying to my God would do a whole lot for me.

I am so sorry about you also having to deal with the trauma of your husband's near death and aftermath. That sounds very stressful & draining all by itself. Please be patient with yourself too and allow yourself plenty of time to process all that you have been and are going through. Again, I am so very very sorry for your unimaginable pain.
((((((((((((((Comforting Hugs)))))))))))))

winnie12

Oh Maggie - how i have thought of you over the last two weeks. With such fear of loosing my son i got a very small glimpse of what you must feel daily with your loss. My mind went to those places and it was more than i could physically bear - it didnt just hurt in my mind it physically hurt. I still feel the weakness and physical pain in my body just from thinking those thoughts. But you do have another son that is choosing to live and you must pour your love into him now. Please do not let addiction steal another life - your body is alive right now but you are not living. Medications can help in the worst of it but you really need to consider some grief counseling to sort through all of this. As hard as it hurts, please try to force yourself up and out of the house - even go on a trip - somewhere you've never been before just to have a change of scenery. Its not going to just take it away but maybe you can find a few moments that its not at the forefront of your thoughts. Maggie you can give into this and let drugs steal your life as well or you can fight against it and refuse to let drugs steal your life too.

My prayers are with you.

Katyrose

Maggie, my friend,

I'm so sorry I haven't been on the site for a few days. And I feel awful that you're feeling so awful. I've read the other replies to your post, and people are giving you the best advice, Maggie. Talking to a grief counselor could help. I've been seeing a therapist since last October, a month after my son died. She has been a tremendous help, guiding me very gently through my most horrible grief. I will continue seeing her until I feel that I can stand on my own 2 feet again someday.

You're so lucky to have your grandson, Maggie. I wish Joey had children, but it wasn't to be. Danny needs you, Maggie. He lost his father and I'm sure he has serious issues that should be talked about and resolved. I wish I could give you all the right answers, but I can't, my friend. Just know that I am here for you. I hope and pray today is a little better for you.

Love,
Joey's mum
Katy

Godsgirl

Big long hug for you and your husband Maggie..from me and wish you nothing but peace and comfort during your grief.

Love,
GG

Angelic17

Maggie, I think of you every single day, and I just want to tell you that you are not alone in your grief. We are all mothers, here with you, and grieving with you. Every mother on this earth, will understand your pain and heartache. I just wanted to send you a hug, and let you know I am thinking of you today. Jason needs you to look after Danny. Danny is going to want to know things about his dad when he was a little boy, that only you can tell him. It's only natural to grieve. You need to get support for your grief, because other mother's who have lost children can truly relate to you. I just wanted to tell you that you are so loved and cared for here at SR. I can tell by all of the replies to your posts. (((((((((((((((((Maggie))))))))))))))))))))