acehood629

I am having a very hard time with a step I need to take in my recovery. I've been putting it off for a long time, and I know I can't keep doing that.
I am facing my own addiction with opiates for the first time in my life, and i have a family full of opiate addicts. They taught me to take a pill for everything and anything. Have a chipped nail? Take a vicodin. You know? And to top it all off, most of them are nurses. HA.

Anyway, I've been keeping my distance from all of them, and have not gotten the guts to tell them why I have stayed away. I'm terrified of hurting their feelings. My husband says I shouldn't care if it upsets them after "what they did to me"... But I don't see it that way. I don't blame them for what choices I made in my life. Even though I was only 14-15 when they started putting pain pills in my face. It was always my choice, and I made the wrong ones. On top of the addictions, the relationships are very unhealthy, they are all enablers and blame each other for their problems. I say they because I am trying to stop my own behavior cycle by recognizing it and getting help. I am in NA, I have a sponsor and am working the 12 steps. And I have 12 days clean.

I have a 2 year old daughter that they all love to death, and I don't want her to grow the way I did. Seeing her aunts and Grandma taking pills, and possibly offering them to her too. I will NOT let that happen... I just need some advice on how to break this to them sensitively I guess. Part of me wants to just scream it at them, but I need to be better than that.
If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it..

Thanks for the support, I love you all

Callie

I think the only thing that you can do is lay it out for them in a calm, rational but firm way. You've seen what they pushed on you, you want to stop the cycle with your dd. Lay out your boundaries for them and stick to them. Congrats to you for 12 days clean and for wanting to change your life!

outtolunch

"I cannot risk my own recovery or my child's welfare by being around people who push/ use pills" is a boundary.

"You cannot push or use pills" is an attempt to control other people.

Does this make sense?

greeteachday

Congratulations on your clean time! I'm glad you have made a choice to break the cycle.
I've found that as I've worked recovery I no longer need to provide lengthy explanations for what i do. I can not be around people who use because I choose not to and I do not want my child around drugs is factual, not hurtful.

One of my favorite expressions in the program is say what you mean, mean what you say and don't say it mean.

Angelic17

Hello Ace, If I were you, I would just lay low. I wouldn't hang out with any one who uses. Especially in early recovery. It's so easy to relapse. If someone in the family says, where have you been. You can very nicely tell them, I have been going to NA. I am clean now, and trying to stay that way. I cannot be around anyone who uses. I love you, but I hope you understand where I am coming from. This isn't about you, it's about me, and my survival, and being free from addiction, so I can be a good mother to my child. If they don't understand that, then you don't need them in your life. If you say they are nurses, then they should understand. They should know how tough it is to get clean. Congratulations on 12 days. Your on your way. You will get alot of support here. Keep coming back. Hugs and Prayers to you. Stay strong, and don't let anyone take your recovery away.