Sofardown

Well, I turn my cell phone off at night for a reason.
This morning I got up and turned on the cell. AS had left me a voice mail at 3 am that I could not understand. (he sounded messed up). So...then I looked on the home phone, he did not leave a message but caller id showed he tried to call at 4:15.
My husband is up at 4 for work, but gone by the time I get up at 6:30. So, called the husband and asked him if he had spoken to him.
He said yes, AS called, said he needed a place to go (him and girlfriend) problems. My husband told him he could come here. Then son calls back a few minutes later and tells my husband "she called and said she is throwing all my stuff out" (for those who do not know, he lives now with girlfriend and her dad, after being thrown out of his appartment. I assuming since he went there instead of asking to come here at the time is because the girlfriends dad must allow what I do not!). Anyway...he doesn't call or come and my husband leaves the house at 6. So, my husband calls him and say's "im leaving for work, and mom is still asleep". AS says " I will be over in a little bit".
Well, he never showed. My husband told me to call AS, and I said "NO" I am tired of the dramatics, and what ever happens to him, he has done to himself. Im not getting dragged into it!
Wondering if he is going to show up at his work since he evidently was up all night. His boss is at her end with him as well. Guess time will tell!
The old me would have kept both phones by the bed, and ran right to him. (I have done this several times in the past). I am soooooo proud of myself for how I am dealing with him these days!
It doesn't seem to be "changing him" at all. But, it sure has changed me! ( :

suki44883

Sounds like you are doing well with the codie thing. You didn't mention how old your son is, but if he is old enough to live away from home, he's old enough to handle his own relationship problems.

Congratulations for standing strong.

outtolunch

Profound !

Sofardown

He is an 18 yr. old that say's " I can take care of myself". Funny how he forgets that when he gets himself in a situation!

Serenity Bound

Well Done!

marle

Two summers ago my daughter called me at 3 AM to tell me that she had to call the police on her addict boyfriend for trying to strangle her. She said that she wanted to come home. I talked to her for a while trying to calm her down. My husband, in the meantime, was jumping in the shower so that he would be ready to go get her. (She was 40 miles away.) I just told him to calm down, that she was not going to come home that night. I knew that she would change her mind since leaving the boyfriend meant leaving the free supply of drugs. She called back within 20 minutes and told me that she was staying there. After that night, I told her not to call me if it happened again. I needed my sleep She did not call again until she was really ready to leave. Point of the story is take care of you. Hugs, Marle

BBD

Your doing a great job. I learned that when I stopped doing things for my son~~he stopped asking. I had gone to therapy at the time he entered rehab and when he got out ~~I was ready!! Its a hard step to take but oh so healthy. I wish you luck and courage to keep it up. My son is now straight, working and living on his own. Hallaluya!!! Smiles, Bonnie

dorton

It is funny how they are so very independent until they get in trouble and then it is MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann

Golden words spoken here, that's the voice of recovery speaking.

Hugs to you and your husband and prayers for your boy.

Spiritual Seeker

Way to be UNcodependent !!!!
We only get sucked in if we let ourselves.

winnie12

Dorton's post made me laugh - its the same thing my Dad said about my AS this week. He runs and does what he wants, acts like a big man who doesnt listen to anyone and then when things get tough he comes running back to Mommy to save him. He was so mad at AS for coming home to me instead of turning himself in to the police or going straight to the hospital himself- Dad was yelling on the phone "I need my Mommy" - I just let him have his rant but of course I know he is right - they think they are adults until they get into an adult consequence and then we're supposed to come to the rescue. They need us to be their safety net, which for most kids is okay but for the addict or troubled child its not because it just keeps them from hitting bottom and realizing that there are consquences in life.