Some thoughts, and example of progression
 

My husband has the legal scripts to be a walking drug store himself. However, we've learned other consequences...
HIs DOC is crack, not pills, I stopped helping buy pills or getting new docs, docs stopped prescribing as his system is clean when he returns....but the effects of someone who physically depends on them to move... Every few months he encounters paralysis, temporary but excruciating, the swelling of pushing himself through the pain to get to his other DOC is slowly killing him and now when ambulance brings him in(because no exageration on paralysis) ER when no only give the required dilaudid and relaxant injection to allow him to sit and move toes. They refuse to admit him or give scripts.

I refuse to pay its a cycle. I often lay in bed wondering, what life will be like for him when hes eventually in prison, and on lockdown because he can no longer fight back. I imagine eventually he'll, if not dead from a deal gone wrong or (according to doctors) in a nursing home, because if this 26 yr old doesnt take better care of himself he will be paralyzed.

Im just sharing to show some types of progression. I focus more and more on me, his life keeps cycling around.

Will he find recovery? Hes certainly been in his share of rehabs. Only God knows. I believe as long as there is breathing theres hope.
I also believe when timing is right my HP will make my easier way out without the extra battles involved.

This was/is one of those guys most people believe is "different", however once addiction takes hold we/they/the human race is equal. It doesnt matter how much potential or wealth a person has. Its just sad,a nd only they themselves can change anyting about it.
As for my husband, even couselors have said, without letting go of his pride and being humble nothing will change long term. Coincidentally, other counselors have said, his pride in many ways has also kept him from committing suicide.

Im posting this, just to share with all those new ones struggling. I used to always believe in happy endings and its taken along time for me to realize sometimes there is just endings.

There are medications that do work and are not addictive. My Orthopedic Surgeon, My Arthritis Doctor and My Neurologist worked together and still work together to keep me moving and I have been in recovery from Alcohl and drug addiction for almost 28 years.

But, your H has TO WANT RECOVERY and be willing to try non addictive treatment. He might be amazed. Periodically mine will flare beyond what my daily medication can keep a blanket on and I get a Torodol shot which immediately puts the 'blanket' back on. There are 'mild' muscle relaxers that keep taken as prescribed keep the muscles from getting so bad, their are believe it or not, anti seizure drugs like Neurontin, Topamax, etc that keep the nerves from sending the signals, etc

All of this is his to find out, you may want to copy and paste that information and give it to him, and let him find Doctors that are familiar with his type of condition and will work together to give him a fairly good life with pain that is tolerable.

You are very WISE to stay out of it. It is his problem. He can make it worse or better and it is his choice. I hope you continue to take care of you.

I have to tell you a story that is true and what one young man has done. My nephew at the age of 16 had an IMMENSE growth spurt and sprouted from 5'10" to 6'7" in less than a week. What it did to his spine was literally destroy it and he lived with horrible pain, muscle spasms and episodes of paralysis. A wonderful Doctor at his college (Valpriso) got him 'hooked' on Oxycontin and Fentenayl patches. At 21 he was an addict and not by his own choice.

My sister got him to some great doctors, who slowly weaned him and started new treatments for a condition that cannot be corrected surgically and will be with him the rest of his life. He is now 26, fully clean for over 3 years, living with some pain, but very tolerable pain, is about to complete his masters and will have a good life.

So, I say that to show that there is hope. But, if your H chooses to do nothing, the progression will continue and it will only get worse, you are correct.

Now, how do you feel about that? Do you want to live the rest of your life in this chaos? Only you, by working on yourself will figure out what you will need to do for you so that you have a full complete peaceful, and serene life.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

((Cindi))

The endings are sometimes not as we had hoped for or prayed for - but I do believe that the God of our understanding can do amazing things thru our willingness to allow Him to guide us.

I don't know how your story will end, start over, or continue - but I do know that you are a strong woman with many recovery skills and that YOU and YOUR God will be ok - even better than OK - NO MATTER WHAT!!

Love ya!!!

Rita

Thanks Laurie, yes I know theres other meds. At this point I wont help him get them, because in this town and likely everywhere everything has a price and even neuratin and prescription ibprofen he can trade for drugs.
If he was seeking recovery for alcohol and addiction Id help out. But he is not, nor at this time (IMO ) anywhere close.

Theres many reasons Im unable to break free, legal/and more. As it continues I have no doubt I will, but Ive learned in my experience as well to let time take me where it may. I also can say we are in a whole different place then we ever were before (in a healthier for me way).