My son has returned
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Antioch, Ca.
Posts: 158
My son has returned
Happy Easter everyone,
As we would normally be spending the holiday surrrounded by friends and family, we are thousands of miles away and will be spending it alone. and it is ok. This last year dealing with my son's addiction has been so hard, that you lose touch with friends and family, handling this demon alone. Wanting no one to see or feel this pain.
My 19 yr old returned on Monday after being missing for 2 weeks. No money, no phone, no vehicle. It may seem strange, you say he is an adult, but he is a addict. with no way to go but further down.
He returned home, sober, which i have not seen in over a year. We were cautious and many of you know, he has realized he has missed 5 months of his life, cannot account for. He has also realized that we as a family have admitted that he is an addict.
the week has come and gone, and yes, he is still sober. Many talks and most of them light, we have seen our son return. His father took him to the mountains Fri and Sat, where they skiied and snowboarded, and completely spent two days alone. They had a ball. They returned last night still laughing, sore, and many stories of the grand falls and beauty of the mountains. for most of you, you may say, what is so special? Nothing positive has come from my son's mouth in a year. He told his dad that he is done, has had enuf...........well, his father and i both say that only time will tell. But it is a start. I have spent the day yesterday R & R as i think finally the stress and fatigue just hit me. We will celebrate our Easter with my son, and do all the traditional easter formalities, and i think it will be the best one ever. I want to thank all of you who have been there for me throughout this, and remember to keep our friend "Winnie" in your prayers.
I know this is probably not the end for us with this terrible demon of addiction, but it is a step forward, and for this i am grateful.
As we would normally be spending the holiday surrrounded by friends and family, we are thousands of miles away and will be spending it alone. and it is ok. This last year dealing with my son's addiction has been so hard, that you lose touch with friends and family, handling this demon alone. Wanting no one to see or feel this pain.
My 19 yr old returned on Monday after being missing for 2 weeks. No money, no phone, no vehicle. It may seem strange, you say he is an adult, but he is a addict. with no way to go but further down.
He returned home, sober, which i have not seen in over a year. We were cautious and many of you know, he has realized he has missed 5 months of his life, cannot account for. He has also realized that we as a family have admitted that he is an addict.
the week has come and gone, and yes, he is still sober. Many talks and most of them light, we have seen our son return. His father took him to the mountains Fri and Sat, where they skiied and snowboarded, and completely spent two days alone. They had a ball. They returned last night still laughing, sore, and many stories of the grand falls and beauty of the mountains. for most of you, you may say, what is so special? Nothing positive has come from my son's mouth in a year. He told his dad that he is done, has had enuf...........well, his father and i both say that only time will tell. But it is a start. I have spent the day yesterday R & R as i think finally the stress and fatigue just hit me. We will celebrate our Easter with my son, and do all the traditional easter formalities, and i think it will be the best one ever. I want to thank all of you who have been there for me throughout this, and remember to keep our friend "Winnie" in your prayers.
I know this is probably not the end for us with this terrible demon of addiction, but it is a step forward, and for this i am grateful.
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
I am so happy for you and your family. I remember how that feels. We had a beautiful Christmas one year with my addict/alcoholic son that I soaked in like a sponge. I think of that time often and I remember every detail of it. That special time gives me strength to go on during the worst of times. I sincerely hope that your son is done and on the road to recovery. Enjoy this time to the fullest.
But please remember, no matter what, to have no expectations of him. During good times or bad times. This is how I learned acceptance, which is key to my serenity. Don't lose your serenity. Leave his choices on him and trust God to do His will in your son's life, which is always best for everyone involved because God loves us and wants whats best for us. Just a few things that I've learned that help carry me through.
((((((((((((((Mom to Mom HUGS))))))))))))))
But please remember, no matter what, to have no expectations of him. During good times or bad times. This is how I learned acceptance, which is key to my serenity. Don't lose your serenity. Leave his choices on him and trust God to do His will in your son's life, which is always best for everyone involved because God loves us and wants whats best for us. Just a few things that I've learned that help carry me through.
((((((((((((((Mom to Mom HUGS))))))))))))))
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
This is all well and good and I am happy that your Easter is going well.
However, what happened to?
You back down on this boundary now and you are back at square 1. I am with Freedom on this one, I still think this is
QUACKING and MANIPULATION on his part. He still needs TX and then a Sober Living Facility where they are used to dealing with the 'manipulations' of those in early recovery. The "DECISION" he has to make has not yet been made.
Please do not forget ................ YOU CANNOT LOVE HIM BACK TO HEALTH.
Enjoy your Easter, and I truly pray that you stick by your boundaries. This young man needs help you CANNOT give him.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
However, what happened to?
The home rules stand the same, tx or leave.
He told his dad that he is done, has had enuf.....
Please do not forget ................ YOU CANNOT LOVE HIM BACK TO HEALTH.
Enjoy your Easter, and I truly pray that you stick by your boundaries. This young man needs help you CANNOT give him.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Happy Easter. Wonderful that he feels he has reached a bottom. In my experience, it is essential to follow that up with treatment. If I were you I would set a boundary of mandatory 12 step meetings or he can't live there. Sorry to be the fly in the ointment but the disease just doesn't go away by itself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I also want to urge you to be cautious. Enjoy the moment but don't believe that he is miraculously cured because he says that he is done. He needs more than just talk. Now is the time to see some action on his part. Two years ago my daughter said the same thing. I was so relieved that I let down my guard. My boundaries went out the window. She lasted about two weeks, although it was 3 months before I found out. That was the lowest point in my life after so much hope. These days I live one day at a time and although I hope for the best, I am prepared for the worst. Glad though that you got a glimpse of your son without the influence of the drugs. It shows you what he can do if and when he is ready. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
Posts: 210
That is great news...! You know, not every kid who uses drugs ends up an addict...and I pray and believe that yours is one of those who doesn't. My son was addicted to Heroin for two years before I even knew he did it!! You just may have caught your son in time, awesome!!.. I spent an awesome day with my AS where I saw a wonderful glimpse of him sober...it's the time for miracles and we all know that He walks beside our A's...
I have already prayed for you and will do so again...God Bless
I have already prayed for you and will do so again...God Bless
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
I am so glad your fears have been relieved about where your son is.
I agree with some others who have reminded you that just because someone says they're done, doesn't exactly constitute us throwing all our boundaries and rules out the window. TIME is the only thing that will tell you if your son truly has decided he wants a different way of life.
I know when things seemed to be going well at my house, that was the time I REALLY needed to beef up my recovery, working on me. I hope you'll continue reading on here and remember the "no expectations" rule. Also, how about some meetings for yourself? By attending meetings I really did learn a whole lot (am still am learning) about how to handle myself in the midst of addiction living in my home.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
I agree with some others who have reminded you that just because someone says they're done, doesn't exactly constitute us throwing all our boundaries and rules out the window. TIME is the only thing that will tell you if your son truly has decided he wants a different way of life.
I know when things seemed to be going well at my house, that was the time I REALLY needed to beef up my recovery, working on me. I hope you'll continue reading on here and remember the "no expectations" rule. Also, how about some meetings for yourself? By attending meetings I really did learn a whole lot (am still am learning) about how to handle myself in the midst of addiction living in my home.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am glad you & your husband are having this time with your clean & sober son. this is a one day at a time program,enjoy today. i hope this is the miracle you have waited for.
they happen everyday. keep coming back & keep in touch.prayers,
they happen everyday. keep coming back & keep in touch.prayers,
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