Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Those Old Time Feelings

I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
--Anonymous

Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.

Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.

Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.

A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.

The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.

Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.

If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.

Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

This reading today reminds me that recovery does not promise us a perfect life, that each day will be a good one...recovery promises to give us the tools to get through the rough days and come out a better person.

I have my moments of sadness or fear, but when I remember to turn to what I know helps me, prayer, my recovery books, my support here and working the steps, my life once again becomes filled with light, hope and faith that tomorrow will be a better day.

Hugs

Serenity Bound

Ann, I felt like this post was talking directly to ME. Thank you.

Hugs,
Chris

Neagrm

Today I've dived into that pit and this reading was exactly the thing I needed to hear.

I'm having a recurrence of serious health issues and I've fallen right in. It feels intense and hopeless.

This is very humbling and a good reminder to me. I am human. I'm struggling today for the self-love/compassion/trust. But I have the tools and need to use them. It's too easy to slip into the depths. I'm there physically and mentally dragged down by my body.

I dont know that I'll call my sponsor, but maybe someone else in the program, make myself reach out instead of isolate. I feel ashamed to call my sponsor for some reason and it seems odd. I don't want to call attention to myself. She has many sponsees.

Co-dependent; I'm sinking in it today. Just like that I'm a mess. I need to go through the motions and do what must be done today if I can, take care of business and errands, prepare to socialize and be a hostess in my home tomorrow, as if my body is normal.

Where are my tools? I'm a spnsor myself and how dare I when I am so weak now?