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A Happy Memory of my Son

Old 03-31-2009, 12:06 PM
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A Happy Memory of my Son

Many of us are parents, and many struggle with the pain of knowing that their child is lost somewhere inside an addict or alcoholic's body. It's good to remember that our sons and daughters weren't always A's, and perhaps they will find recovery and we'll see that wonderful, bright person once again as they break free of the bondage of their disease. Miracles happen every day.

I was at the grocery store today, and I saw a woman in the parking lot with her 2 yr old son. He didn't want to hold her hand because "he's a big boy now." It made me smile and remember when I went thru that with my younger son. By age 2 or 2 1/2 he was fiercely independent. He didn't want to hold my hand, either... but I remember telling him that I needed him to hold my hand so I didn't get hit by a car. Somehow, that worked for him. And what made me smile is it was always something he did even as he got older, and has done not so long ago... and he's in his 20's now. The last time he was here for a visit we went to the store, and as we were walking in he put his arm around my shoulder and said, "I wouldn't want you to get hit by a car."

It is a happy memory that I can hold onto, even in the darkest of times. Do you have one you'd like to share?
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Old 03-31-2009, 12:21 PM
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That was really beautiful, it reminded me of my son. He would never hold my hand either. The other day he told me I looked like I needed a hug!! And he gave me the most wonderful hug a mother could ever want. He is 22 and he smokes so much pot. I pray each day that he finds a better way and I just try to be a good example for him. He will never know just how much I did need that hug the same as he probably did.
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Old 03-31-2009, 12:23 PM
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Awww, that made me smile, CatsPajamas!

When my oldest AD was probably around 14, and my youngest daughter was 4, we were out for a little drive after a heavy rain on a summer afternoon. We were up by the nursing home, and the street in front ran downhill for several blocks.

All the water was draining from the north, and it was several 'streams', so I parked the car, rolled up the legs of my jeans, and told the girls "Let's go!" We ran all the way to the end of the hill, probably ten blocks, splashing in those streams!

I was soaked up above my knees, but I didn't care, and both the girls were laughing. I love being spontaneous!
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Old 03-31-2009, 05:39 PM
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[QUOTE=CatsPajamas;2173538]Many of us are parents, and many struggle with the pain of knowing that their child is lost somewhere inside an addict or alcoholic's body. It's good to remember that our sons and daughters weren't always A's, and perhaps they will find recovery and we'll see that wonderful, bright person once again as they break free of the bondage of their disease. Miracles happen every day.

That brought tears to my eyes.

When my daughter was little she had the biggest brightest smile, always so happy. She just brought a smile to everyone's face. That is the one thing I hang onto, that smile.

I haven't seen that smile that could just light up a room for a long time. Maybe one day.

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Old 03-31-2009, 05:40 PM
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SORRY! Didn't do the quote right.
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Old 03-31-2009, 06:03 PM
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When my son was a preschooler, he decided he "liked" a little gal up the street. He wanted me to write her a note.
It said:
"I like you. You wear pretty dresses"
He then marched up the street, rang the doorbell, handed it to the gals Mom and calmly walked back home.
We got a lot of miles out of that story as he was hitting puberty

Thanks for the reminder Cats
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Old 03-31-2009, 07:40 PM
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My son would snuggle with me and read books
We held hands (when he was 13) and we walked down a mtn. to the ocean.
My son made a touchdown that won the game.
He went away to college.

He is a man now, an addict now; I still have a few reasons to be proud of him.

This month he frustrates, angers, ignores and worries me.
He is sober, he is going to therapy and AA mtgs. I know he struggles.
When he can, he will do better.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:49 PM
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I should have known something was coming with this little story about my son... When he was in Middle school he wanted to join in a March of Dimes hike....He had to fill out papers to join the group. The secretary from the school called me laughing wheh she read what he had filled in for the sex part..you know, male or female.....and he wrote "not yet"!!!! I still have that application and we still laugh about it..my son is clean today and I'm happy about that. I still take it a day at a time though.. Smiles, Bonnie~~~~~~and thanks for all the other stories. Its fun to share a laugh and a tear here!
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:28 AM
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(((Cats))) That made me cry. Miricles do happen every day. No one ever expects that that small sweet boy or girl, will grow up and have a drug problem. The parents have dreams for that child, and they nurture that dream for years, just to have to watch from the sidelines, and hope and pray, and hold on to those dreams and memories.

Sending all my prayers for those parents.

B
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:41 AM
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Great memories....if we could just turn the clock back. My memory is one of the first day of my son going to middle school. Upon getting out of the car, he told me that he could no longer kiss me good-bye because someone might see him. When I picked him up, he was crying and told me that he had a really bad day. I told him, thats because you didn't kiss your mother good-bye. From that day on, he kissed me good-bye even upon dropping him off in high school.....in front of his friends. Miss those memories.
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:46 AM
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Like Spiritual Seeker, I would love to find reasons to be proud of my son, but I seriously can not think of any. He has been to jail 3 x's, sold all his possessions, dropped out of collage (with F's), is $50K in debt and has an outstanding warrant against him. I tried the positive reinforcement, but I ask myself what is there to congratulate him on.
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Old 04-01-2009, 11:57 AM
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Every year on the last day of school, my MIL, would make a picnic, and wait for our 2 sons to get off the school bus. She would spread out a blanket on our front lawn and have an end of school celebration with all their favorite snacks.


I remember how peaceful and innocent those little boys looked, and how cheerful they were that Summer vacation was starting.

I can't wait for my grandson to go to school, cause on that last day, I'm making a picnic.

Thanks for the memory, Cats....
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:10 AM
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What a lovely thread this is, Cats, thank you for starting it.

It's the smiles, the quiet moments, that I remember best. Maybe these were the serenity moments but there was something special about them.

I miss the smiles and the laugh the most.

Hugs
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:15 AM
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My son and I used to snuggle before bed reading a book. One night we got to talking about when he was born, so I pulled his photo albumn down and we looked through it.
After closing the albumn he said, "I like being little, I don't want to grow up".
I still say my favorite saying to him "did you know I loved you" he says "yeah"
then I say "how'd you know" and he says "cause you always tell me"


probably means nothing to most but he's 24 and we've been saying that since he could talk. hehehe
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