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worried about mixture of pills

Old 03-29-2009, 06:57 PM
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worried about mixture of pills

My AH is addicted to painkillers, he has been on and off them for years due to a back injury...he was off for awhile and now back. My concern is that he takes oxys, ambien to sleep, ativan for anxiety plus traxadone, benedryl and sometimes washes them down with a few beers. I think that would kill a horse, but it barely puts him out for a few hours.
He goes to 3 diff doctors and I don't think each knows about the other meds is is getting..After reading about Heath Ledger, these were the same kinds of drugs he died from accidentally. Do you think my concerns are legit and I have brought them to his attention but get nowhere. Should I call the drs? Any advice please. He also gets verbally nasty when hes on the oxys and ambien cr. along w/that blank droopy eyed stoned out look that i can't stand.
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Old 03-29-2009, 07:50 PM
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Skeeter, after reading all the meds your husband is washing down with alcohol, I definitely think you should be worried. He has a problem, and what he is doing is very dangerous. It's just a matter of time when people use drugs and alcohol that way, that something will go wrong. I'm not saying he is going to die, and I sure hope he doesn't. But something's got to happen. You should call an addiction specialist, tell him your situation, and get some professional advice. I understand your concern, and I would be worried if it were my husband. You might need to plan an intervention with the rest of the family. What ever it takes to save his life. At least you will know you tried. Good Luck and let us know how you make out.
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Old 03-29-2009, 07:58 PM
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You mean a medical dr that specializes in addictions or is that a phychiatrist or another kind of counselor???I am not sure how to start. I know if he found out I spoke to his drs,he would get very angry....but seems he's angry alot lately anyway. We had a bad fight today and I blame his irrationality on the pills bc things were pretty good for awhile until he got started again on oxys last week. I know he probabl downed the whole bottle by now, but don't bother to count anymore ...did a long stint inAlanon but that was awhile ago with another person.
Just reading online and knowing there are people with supportive suggestions helps alot. I read about Heath Ledger and looked into that and it was almost the same cocktail he takes....so scary!!!
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Old 03-29-2009, 08:17 PM
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Skeeter, a drug counselor, or an addiction specialist. Call your regular doctor, and tell him you need an addiction specialist. Or ask a regular doctor to guide you in the right direction. Explain your situation and ask what you should do. That's what I would do. Yes those oxy's make people nasty. I have another friend who is doing the exact same thing your husband is doing, and I argued with him last week. He is fuming at me, and I don't care. I told him to get help and to take care of his substance abuse problem. He turned it all around on me. But, I'm sober, and have been for years. I feel for you, cause your living with a big problem. It's awful. I sure hope your husband realizes that he needs help. It's only a matter of time before the poop hits the fan with him. It's like a time bomb waiting to go off. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Addiction is a brain disease, and addicts in active addiction are impossible to reason with.
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:22 AM
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((Skeeter))

Unfortunately, no matter what kind of dr. YOU go to, it is not going to make HIM stop taking the pills. However, I agree that learning more about addiction is always a good thing.

I'm a recovering addict. Crack was my DOC (drug of choice), but prior to that I abused a ton of opiates, and had built up a tolerance, as it sounds like your husband has.

As cynical pointed out, the person you need to focus on, right now, is you. You can't control your AH or his addiction. We talk, here, about the 3 c's...didn't cause it, can't change it, can't cure it.

I hope you continue to read and post. There are some supportive people here, with a lot of ES&H (experience, strength & hope).

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 03-30-2009, 07:37 AM
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You should call an addiction specialist, tell him your situation, and get some professional advice.
I agree, and take him with you. Tell him all he has to do is listen and learn. If he doesn't take steps to get help then all you can do is have a plan of what you will do.
BTW, I'm sure he would need detox first and thats what addictionologists do.

Yes his mixture of pills is a recipe for disaster.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
he knows exactly what he's doing. going to three different doctors and gets pills from each of them, that's called doctor shopping. his addiction is in high gear and any thing YOU try to do about it will be seen as an attack, and he'll defend his right to use. he's also likely inclined to violence....that combo of drugs causes a person to be volatile and erratic.

you should be more concerned about your own life and safety at this point. and be thinking about what YOU are going to do if he makes no effort to change. i'd be inclined to tell him calmly ONCE that you are very concerned about the amount and quanity of pills he's taking along with the booze and that you would hope he would seek help. and then work on plans on how much longer you want your life consumed by somebody else's out of control drug addiction.

Agreed. For those of you who suggested taking him to an addiction specialist, I'd be inclined to bet you haven't been thrown down basement steps, had your head bashed into a wall, or been kicked in the ribs. Been there, done that, got that t-shirt.

Listen to what Anvil is telling you. Addiction is progressive. It only gets worse, never better. He will do whatever he needs to in order to protect his addiction.
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Old 03-31-2009, 05:47 PM
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Skeeter, how are things going? Keep us posted. We are all worrying about you. At least I am. Please let us know what's going on. Wishing you Peace, and freedom from your husbands active addiction. I sure hope he finds the right help, and is willing to change.
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:29 PM
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My son was addicted to alcohol and opiates. He built up a tolerance to the pills so he progressed to heroin, along with the alcohol. The combination of heroin and alcohol is deadly. He died on Sep 4, 2008.

I don't think there is anything you can do to make your AH stop. He has to want sobriety himself.

Katy
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:49 PM
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Pharmacy?

I have a friend whos husband is in a similar situation. My question for you is, how are the scripts filled? Do you always use the same pharmacy? Or, is he using different pharmacies as well as the different docs?
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:59 PM
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Freedom - Good Lord!!! I am so sorry.

Katy - I'm so sorry for you too sweetie.

Skeeter - Take care of you. You can't love him clean. No amount of tears, no amount of guilt and no amount of threats are going to get him clean until he himself has had enough. Sometimes enough never gets here.

It's good that you are educating yourself because addicts are master manipulator's. You think you are entitled to express your concern. It is your right to not approve. It is also your right to leave.

They will try and out talk you. They will tell you that YOU are the one with the problem. You are crazy. They will tell you your information is wrong or it doesn't apply to them. They WILL attack those they love who threaten their love affair with their DOC. You're feelings will get hurt. Expect it. Be prepared for it and be ready to get out of dodge.

He will have to bottom out before he will bother with treatment. You will hear "rock bottom" used over and over again. Think about it, when you are at the bottom, where else is there to go? You either stay there or go UP (or look up which is God or another higher power).

Sometimes we just have to walk away. Often times we look back over a shoulder and wait and wait and hope and wait. We get sucked into their addiction and it consumes us as much as it consumes them.

We become addicted to the addict. Maybe it's the drama (though we would never admit THAT). Maybe it's the need to caretake. Maybe its the compulsion to ride in and save the day. We may never know why but we DO NOT have to stay aboard the sinking ship.

Keep posting!
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Old 04-01-2009, 01:04 PM
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Skeeter... what you're describing sounds a lot like what I am going through - and I completely understand. Unfortunately, I don't have any words of wisdom at this point - but I guess I don't feel "alone". Hopefully this site will give us some words of encouragement and the strength to make the best decisions for us. Take care...
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Old 04-01-2009, 02:12 PM
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Unhappy

Katyrose, :ghug3 I am so sorry for the loss of your son. It just rips at my heart knowing that addiction has taken another good life away. As a mother of an addict, my heart just breaks for you. I know what mother's go through when it's their child that is addicted. I know what it did to me, and it's not pretty. My son is 28 years old, and his drug abuse was like terrorism for me. It almost killed me. Even though my son is clean today, I still feel panic and fright when I think of him. I'm trying to hard to free myself from the fear, and give it all to the Lord. My heart goes out to you Katyrose. I feel your pain, and it is unmerciful. I lost my brother to a heroin overdose, and I guess, that's why my son's addiction tore me up. FEAR is a horrible thing. I hope that GOD heals your heart, and brings you peace during your time of grief. Nothing hurts like a mother's heart. :praying

Skeeter, I sure hope that things don't go this way for you.
Hope is a beautiful thing, so hang on to it.
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Old 04-01-2009, 02:30 PM
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You must immediately seek advice from a health care specialist that knows how to deal with your husband's substance abuse problem. One more thing, you can talk to your husband about the consequences of his actions, and ask him if he wants to change his bad habits by admitting himself in a treatment center for addiction.
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Old 04-02-2009, 06:08 AM
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Angelic, thank you for your kind understanding comforting words. I know your pain and hope your son stays on the right path. I will pray for you and your son.

There is no greater loss than the loss of your child, especially from a drug OD. There seems to be a stigma and shame attached to an overdose death. It makes me feel isolated and that I must somehow defend my son. He was such a good, kind, understanding, talented man who loved his family. He died from the disease of addiction, which many people just don't quite understand.

I will never get over it.

Love,
Joey's mum
Katy
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