Living with someone who abuses drugs

Old 03-28-2009, 01:37 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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Living with someone who abuses drugs

Living with someone who abuses drugs is very difficult. People who are living with a drug addict have to learn to cope or get out of the relationship.

Step One
Ask yourself if you want to stay in this relationship. The facts are that for your partner, drugs will always come before your relationship until the addiction is removed. The only one that can help the drug addict is the drug addict himself, so any pleading you do will not have an effect. Ask yourself if you are willing to wait for him or her to seek treatment. If the answer is no, then end the relationship.

Step Two
Take care of yourself, and do the things that you want to do. If you have a hard time with this, there are support groups that are comprised of people in the same position as yourself. Consider joining one.

Step Three
Stand against addiction and do not enable the drug abuser's lifestyle. If the addict or abuser asks you to help him or her procure drugs or for money to get drugs, say no. Make it clear that you are no longer willing to be a part of his or her addiction.

Step Four
Keep your own checking and saving account, and secure any valuables. An addict is not himself and may even steal from those he loves to support his addiction.

Step Five
Stay clean and sober. If your partner sees you doing drugs, it will reinforce the idea that she can, too. Also ensure that children are not exposed to any drug use.

Step Six
Understand that the solution to many of your problems is working on yourself, not trying to change the habits of your partner. Most people who live with drug addicts have taken on some qualities of addiction themselves. Though solving this in yourself may not change your partner, it will improve your life.

Tips & Warnings
* Keep the focus on yourself, and don't expect the addict or abuser to change just because you are.
* If you join a support group, you will have a social network to call upon whenever you need help in coping, or if you just need to talk to someone who understands.
* You might lose the person you are living with because of the changes you have made. If so, than you will realize that the drug was more important to your partner than the relationship. It may not feel like it now, but that's a healthy step.
* Detach yourself from the addict's lifestyle so drugs do not become a focus of your life.
* Don't accept bad behavior. If the drug addict or abuser gets violent, get out of the house and call the police. Put yourself first
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