katylyn77

Hi everyone,
I'm writing to just get things out and ask for support. I picked up my husband from rehab last Sat. and he is in such a good place now He's been in detox before, but never in a rehab for 30 days. Believe me, I know he has a long way to go, but he is in a very good place now-mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I haven't seen him like this in years. I spent the day with him, then dropped him off at his sober house.
My question is, how do I not get caught up in all the emotions of all of this. While he was gone, I did such a good job of focusing on myself. Now that he's out, and has a little less hand-holding, how do I continue to focus on me, without getting hopeful. Is it ok to be hopeful?
He will be in the sober house for a while, and I KNOW I need to take this one day at a time. It's just so hard.

Thanks for listening...k

Chino

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

He's continuing to work his recovery and it's brought him this far, one day at a time. Your recovery has brought you this far, too, one day at a time. Keep working it! If you aren't doing any meetings, check them out. Look at the steps and think about working on them if you haven't already.

Whether it's face to face with others or own your own, just keep working on you. Stay busy

BohemiMamaof3

I agree. We used to call it "cautious optimism." Keep working on your own issues and doing the things that are good and healthy for you.

Hammerhead

katylyn77... you focus on yourself by focusing on yourself... I found that emotionally detaching myself from my AH works for me right now... I think of his life as a movie and I'm watching it... but I'm not in it.... In other words I can read the script anytime... but I can also choose to sit it down and walk away when I choose. I really believe the saying "it's not what he says, but what he does." and time always tells...so you can be hopeful... but be hopeful for your future because we can't control their future... isn't that what praying is all about?

hello-kitty

Best of luck to your husband.

I find that when I stay in the present and focus only on the things I can control, I am much happier and much more successful in life.

Try repeating the serenity prayer when you start to feel things spiralling out of control.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (my husband)
The courage to change the things I can (myself)
And the wisdom to know the difference.

And when in doubt, wait it out. The truth will eventually reveal itself.

katylyn77

Thank you all. Today is a new day.

justanothrdrunk

Hope is always a good thing.

HurtingDad

Everyone gave you great advice. It also helped me to read it. But we all share common cares and worries when there's an addict in our life.

Glad to hear that your yor husband is working his recovery, but it is one day at a time for both him and you. Keep up the good work

Prayers and wishes going out to both of you.

JMFburns

Katylyn,

Just wanted to share what I observe a fellow in my AlAnon group doing. His wife was in rehab and has moved on to a sober house (has been there many months.) He focuses on his life - working each day, interacting with their kids (older teens,) attends many meetings and has time with his wife when it works for them both. He is very social in our group, attending the fellowship afterwards at Dennys and is generally living his life.

Hope all is going well for you.