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silly question, but I gotta ask...

Old 03-23-2009, 02:18 PM
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silly question, but I gotta ask...

I think I know the answer to this, but looking for validation

My niece just got served with the charge of evading an officer that landed her in jail (for probation violation) for the past 8 months. Its a new felony.

She tells me today that her boyfriend (pathological liar in my book) said he was meeting with the Federal judge downtown to get the chages dismissed (don't fall off your chair laughing).

Anyway, this is the same guy who told her for the past 8 months that he was getting her previous felonies erased because of his connections with the judge and the narcotics detectives (I know, you're dying laughing now). Yes, you guessed it, it never happened and she figured out he can't do that.

The problem - she believes him - that he is getting this charge dropped.

Question - do I let it go (probably the answer), hint that he hasn't been able to do this in the past (nor has he even been able to get his suspended drivers' license back), or do I outline the 500 lies that he has told her over the past year to knock some sense in her head.

I'm guessing that hope, even of this dilusional type, is easier for her to accept than the fact that her choices are catching up with her big time.

Thougths?
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Old 03-23-2009, 02:23 PM
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i'm sorry but i am laughing
why even try explaining this to her? what good will it do - i'd just smile and say "that's great." she'll find out the truth soon enough on her own.
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Old 03-23-2009, 02:30 PM
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yep, I agree with wiinnie, why bother, she'll figure it out sooner or later.
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Old 03-23-2009, 02:39 PM
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Thanks folks - I got a chucke out of anvilhead's post and it is wonderful to get your reactions - it helps me keep a grip on reality.

Thanks!!!!
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Old 03-23-2009, 02:48 PM
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I want him to call the bill collectors on my hind end after he's done clearing that up for her, and after he gets Anvil's seatbelt violation expunged, okay?
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:12 PM
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Ok, when he's done taking care of your niece, Anvilhead's seat belt thingy and Freedom's bill collectors, could you send him to the IRS, on my behalf, to purge all records of my 2008 income, so I do not have to write Uncle Sam a check on 4/15?

And in the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Experience is the best teacher.
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:17 PM
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Since he's calling the IRS for outtolunch i could use some help in that area too. Oh and i'd also like a raise - do you think he'd call my boss or do we only get one request?
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by winnie12 View Post
Since he's calling the IRS for outtolunch i could use some help in that area too. Oh and i'd also like a raise - do you think he'd call my boss or do we only get one request?
I think one request per person is only fair, Winnie. We don't want the poor chap to work himself to the bone!
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Troubledone View Post
I'm guessing that hope, even of this dilusional type, is easier for her to accept than the fact that her choices are catching up with her big time.
Thougths?
Denial combined with drug induced psychosis is a very powerful thing. I would laugh, but on the whole, the whole addiction thing is just so tragic, in the classic sense of the word.
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Old 03-23-2009, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by sailorjohn View Post
Denial combined with drug induced psychosis is a very powerful thing. I would laugh, but on the whole, the whole addiction thing is just so tragic, in the classic sense of the word.
Um, SJ? If you go back and read the entire thread, you will see that her niece has been in jail for the past 8 months. She hasn't been doing drugs, so there isn't any drug-induced psychosis. I'm not sure where you got that from.
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:00 PM
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Thanks all - I find it very supportive to be able to laugh a little about all this - it IS so ridiculous that my poor neice believes this guy - it is both comic and tragic at the same time.

Earlier in my niece's current incarceration, she was what I thought was psychotic (she just wasn't putting events in order and was reporting hallucinations like seeing her dead grandfather and speaking with him).

I don't see any of that now, but golly, she just believes anything her boyfriend says. When she calls me and complains about anomolies in his behavior, I've told her that I just want to go on record as saying there is something missing. That there is way too much confusion surrounding this guy for him to be telling the whole truth - and then later I find out that yes, he was up to no good and lying. So despite all evidence that says he's a liar, she still believes him.

As I mentioned, I just think that she does not want to face the possibility that she could (and is likely to) get more jail time for this recent felony, not to mention getting her license suspended and maybe even a fine. The consequences are catching up to her and she's been sober for 8 months, so there is nowhere to hide except in the lies her boyfriend tells her.

Well, I do know that truth always comes out - it may take a while, but it always comes out.

thanks for your thoughts and input - it always helps.
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
Um, SJ? If you go back and read the entire thread, you will see that her niece has been in jail for the past 8 months. She hasn't been doing drugs, so there isn't any drug-induced psychosis. I'm not sure where you got that from.
I would never assume that being in jail is a guarantee that the individual can't get drugs. And I don't know about you, but I've known a fair number of people that used for such a long time that their brains basically got cooked. So, change that to "brain fried". They never were the same.
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by sailorjohn View Post
I would never assume that being in jail is a guarantee that the individual can't get drugs. And I don't know about you, but I've known a fair number of people that used for such a long time that their brains basically got cooked. So, change that to "brain fried". They never were the same.
No, you're right, it isn't a guarantee. However, having been just as addicted to an addict as I was the drugs, I can completely understand her niece believing the things she does about the BF without being under the influence or having a fried brain.

Sometimes it is good to have a little levity in a thread. God knows there is enough pain and sadness that comes with addiction, no?
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:44 PM
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OOO my yes, you act as if she is tell the truth about the boyfriend and then you keep asking when she is getting out. When she calls you keep saying it, I thought you would be out by now didn't your BF say he knew the judge, or had connections. (Laughing) Sorry I couldn't let that one go myself. I would have a field day with it. While your at it I would ask about all the other things he was going to do, but I would act so sincere.
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Old 03-23-2009, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
No, you're right, it isn't a guarantee. However, having been just as addicted to an addict as I was the drugs, I can completely understand her niece believing the things she does about the BF without being under the influence or having a fried brain.

Sometimes it is good to have a little levity in a thread. God knows there is enough pain and sadness that comes with addiction, no?
Yeah, you're right, lately been stuck in my own personal pain and have been projecting it outward. Sorry.
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Old 03-23-2009, 08:06 PM
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Sounds like a bunch of quacking to me! lol
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