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As many of you know, due to recent events I've decided that staying at my home may not be the safest place for me so I've been staying with a friend. I've been going to my house daily to check the mail, get the paper and so on. I checked my answering machine- I had 3 messages that were a portion of a collect call. My husband is in jail. It gets better- the 4th message was from my mother in law. She's upset at the fact that I haven't bailed HER son out of jail. However, she didn't take it upon herself to try to bail him out. I called the jail and the told me he can't even get bailed out because he has to see the jugde tomorrow morning and even then, nothing is promised. I was pretty mad. I decided to call her and inform her of everything that's taken place recently, and of course, she knew nothing. She did ask me if I would be present with him tomorrow when he appears before the judge. I told her no and that this isn't my problem and I really feel like it isn't my problem. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel good about my choice but there's that little part of me that's causing me to second guess myself.

Hey, you can feel anyway you want, but you don't have to act on those 'feelings'. Sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to be doing. Good job!

the sooner he realizes you are not going to court, you are not paying lawyers, the sooner he will clean up or hit his bottom. you are doing good,keep it up, this is not your problem. focus on you & do good things for you.prayers,

You're not wrong at all - just get that right out of your head. Do not let misplaced guilt control you. You did nothing wrong - he did.

Are you going to meetings or getting any counseling? When you are in the heart of abuse and addiction its really hard to see the truth of the situation - talking to others about this could really help you see things clearly. The abusive person can really confuse our thoughts on right and wrong and manipulate us through our love. that's how they keep us coming back. I promise you that years from now when you look back you'll only remember the facts and you'll know that you did the right thing for yourself and your child.

I used to worry about going to my addicted neice's hearings. Then I realized it was a collosal waste of my time and did nothing productive for me or the addict.

My opinion - there are much better ways to spend your time than sitting in court - this is his problem and he needs to face it.

Good for you.. stay strong

Soul, Ya did good!! No second guessing.

hugs,
Chris

You've done the right thing Soul~~Do not second guess yourself. Have you told his mom about him pushing you around?? Sounds like she doesn't want to deal with him either or she would have called whatever jail he's in....hang in there and be smart. Hugs, Bonnie

You did good, real good.

You aren't wrong at all, not even a teensy bit! He is a grown man, if he got into trouble with the law its up to him to face the music. There is no reason you have to be there.

Am so glad you posted, I have been wondering how you are! Follow your heart, you are taking care of you!

Not to through to much at you, but just from my past experience...my in-laws rebelled against me when I took a stand with my AH, really had a way of making me feel guilty and then I would really start second quessing myself. Just keep strong as you are and keep following your heart...not someone elses!

Rose

YOU know the truth, hon and you know the number one rule, "take care of you". You are soooo strong. Just keep being true to you and trust your head and heart.