This is just FUBAR
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
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Originally Posted by MyJoey 
Dang..........Cessy! You should have called, why drink alone. LOL
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Urgh.
Winnie, u doing better today?
:ghug
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Cessy, Are you kidding? With the month that we have had with the addicts, put a few drinks in us and we could be like time bombs....hey we may be on to something here. OOO my a few drinks and we could head to GA pick up Winnie, then you can beat her son up. I still have some duck tape, rope and popcorn left. 
sounds like a plan. LOL
sounds like a plan. LOL
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
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His counselor is off today so i'm going to have to talk to her tomorrow. I've gotten my thoughts together on paper. After yesterday and reading all of this i realize i'm still really enabling him. For one thing i know he sneaks and talks to friends and i havent notified the rehab. they have some serious issues with this over there and the kids get away with entirely too much - i thought he'd get caught on his own but obviously i'm going to have to turn him in myself. i dont want to always be tattletale mom but i dont feel like he's going to have a chance if he keeps all of his old relationships going. I need to start doing things on my terms and not his.
My visiting is going to be limited and when he does get passes he's going to start out seeing some of his family. He hasnt seen my parents in a year and they live five miles away - my parents are both about to turn 70 and in bad health - enough is enough. Up until now i've been asking him to see them and after today i will be telling him. He will see his grandparents before he sees anyone else - i will not risk them dying and them not seeing him one last time.
I'm about to switch into a whole new level of tough mom on him. He should know better then to get me too angry because when i get angry i fight and i'm about to fight in a way that he never expected from me. If he doesnt like it then he wont even see me. I think in essence its just time for an intervention for me. Its time to stop the craziness and give him a strong dose of reality. Now - he may run when this all goes down but then he'll just go to jail and he'll be in lockdown which is probably what he needs. I'm about to be the bad guy again and i just dont care what he thinks. I feel like this is my last chance to really do something that makes an impact.
Fasten your seatbelts and put your tray in the upright position - he's about to hit some turbulence!!!
My visiting is going to be limited and when he does get passes he's going to start out seeing some of his family. He hasnt seen my parents in a year and they live five miles away - my parents are both about to turn 70 and in bad health - enough is enough. Up until now i've been asking him to see them and after today i will be telling him. He will see his grandparents before he sees anyone else - i will not risk them dying and them not seeing him one last time.
I'm about to switch into a whole new level of tough mom on him. He should know better then to get me too angry because when i get angry i fight and i'm about to fight in a way that he never expected from me. If he doesnt like it then he wont even see me. I think in essence its just time for an intervention for me. Its time to stop the craziness and give him a strong dose of reality. Now - he may run when this all goes down but then he'll just go to jail and he'll be in lockdown which is probably what he needs. I'm about to be the bad guy again and i just dont care what he thinks. I feel like this is my last chance to really do something that makes an impact.
Fasten your seatbelts and put your tray in the upright position - he's about to hit some turbulence!!!
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Location: Marietta, GA
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Originally Posted by MyJoey
Cessy, Are you kidding? With the month that we have had with the addicts, put a few drinks in us and we could be like time bombs....hey we may be on to something here. OOO my a few drinks and we could head to GA pick up Winnie, then you can beat her son up. I still have some duck tape, rope and popcorn left. sounds like a plan. LOL
sounds like a plan. LOLMember
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Seatbelt fastened, you go Winnie! I know this is hard, but darn it! I look to you for support, LOL no I am just kidding you, but I do :-). I know your right and it is tough, I am in the same place. Thank goodness my husband called the police last week. We are on our last leg with our sons if we don't make them get it, we have to let them go very soon and for you I totally understand it is harder because of your sons health. You have a double worry on your hands. I don't think he will run Winnie. I don't know why, but I just think he is going to push every limit he can as far as he can....just like my son. Funny thing is we know our sons/ daughters better then we know ourselves sometimes I think in our heart of hearts we know when we are being played, but we want them to "get it" or get better so badly that we are looking for another meaning to their behaviors or turning our heads to the meanings behind their actions.....ok did that come out right? I better stop here. Hugs Winnie, Julie
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Well, muscians got to be rich cause, they practiced and practiced and they were really good and lucky as well.
How much longer is his stay? Hard as it may be, maybe staying away for a while might help.
They do a 12 step program in there??
How much longer is his stay? Hard as it may be, maybe staying away for a while might help.
They do a 12 step program in there??
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by winnie12
I need to start doing things on my terms and not his.
today i will be telling him. He will see his grandparents before he sees anyone else - i will not risk them dying and them not seeing him one last time.
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Fasten your seatbelts and put your tray in the upright position - he's about to hit some turbulence!!!
today i will be telling him. He will see his grandparents before he sees anyone else - i will not risk them dying and them not seeing him one last time.
.
Fasten your seatbelts and put your tray in the upright position - he's about to hit some turbulence!!!
Stay fixed and strong...
You will be just fine!
Love,
Cessy
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
[Fasten your seatbelts and put your tray in the upright position - he's about to hit some turbulence!!!quote]
winnie, this sounds like YOU are back in control.
And you really don't want to know about the Tat's & piercings my AD had, I first found out about the piercings from a nurse when my AD was in the shock trauma unit..........she was 19 1/2 at the time.
And pulling me into her rantings & sh#$, my husband would tell me she was doing it on purpose just to upset me............but NO did I believe that, surely she didn't want to upset me.
Julie, Cessie,...don't forget to stop in Md & pick me up on the way to winnies.....I was so bored yesterday, I was ready to go out of my mind. Sure would have liked a reason to forget my problems.
winnie, this sounds like YOU are back in control.
And you really don't want to know about the Tat's & piercings my AD had, I first found out about the piercings from a nurse when my AD was in the shock trauma unit..........she was 19 1/2 at the time.
And pulling me into her rantings & sh#$, my husband would tell me she was doing it on purpose just to upset me............but NO did I believe that, surely she didn't want to upset me.
Julie, Cessie,...don't forget to stop in Md & pick me up on the way to winnies.....I was so bored yesterday, I was ready to go out of my mind. Sure would have liked a reason to forget my problems.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
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Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000
Well, muscians got to be rich cause, they practiced and practiced and they were really good and lucky as well.
How much longer is his stay? Hard as it may be, maybe staying away for a while might help.
They do a 12 step program in there??
How much longer is his stay? Hard as it may be, maybe staying away for a while might help.
They do a 12 step program in there??
his stay could be anywhere from 6 months to over a year - it just depends upon him. It is 12 step, they host some AA meetings there and go to offsite meetings so they usually hit 2-3 meetings a week and the whole program of moving up goes along with the 12 steps. they do a couple of steps with each level - as the levels go up so do their priviledges.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Hard as it is, might be best to be in their a year.
My sponsor is a director of a rehab much like this for 18 on up. You ever have a question, PM me, I'll see what, kind of feedback I can give.
hugs and prayers it gets better for you and your son
Chris
My sponsor is a director of a rehab much like this for 18 on up. You ever have a question, PM me, I'll see what, kind of feedback I can give.
hugs and prayers it gets better for you and your son
Chris
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Winnie))))
Sounds like you need to come see me at work? You know a milkshake makes EVERYTHING seem better
Seriously, you know where I am, and I'm just down the road. I'm at work tonight, then off for 3 nights, but I think you've got my phone number?
Part of this, I think, is just his age. Brit is convinced she's going to have a high-paying job, drive a hummer and have this awesome apt. In the meantime, she was sneaking boys in the basement door, during her sleep-over this weekend, can't seem to keep up with her home-schooling, etc. She turns 16 this July and hasn't even had her 1st job yet. I can't WAIT until she finds out how far a dollar DOESN'T GO these days!!
She has her nose, belly-button and tongue pierced. No tats yet, as dad has threatened to kill her if she does. I think that's just not "her thing", though, or she would still do it.
Hang in there, sweetie. Teenagers are tough, and throw in addiction and diabetes, and you've got your hands full. You're an awesome mom, and though he may throw you for a loop, you always land on your feet and come back even stronger.
Luv ya!!
Amy
Sounds like you need to come see me at work? You know a milkshake makes EVERYTHING seem better
Seriously, you know where I am, and I'm just down the road. I'm at work tonight, then off for 3 nights, but I think you've got my phone number?
Part of this, I think, is just his age. Brit is convinced she's going to have a high-paying job, drive a hummer and have this awesome apt. In the meantime, she was sneaking boys in the basement door, during her sleep-over this weekend, can't seem to keep up with her home-schooling, etc. She turns 16 this July and hasn't even had her 1st job yet. I can't WAIT until she finds out how far a dollar DOESN'T GO these days!!
She has her nose, belly-button and tongue pierced. No tats yet, as dad has threatened to kill her if she does. I think that's just not "her thing", though, or she would still do it.
Hang in there, sweetie. Teenagers are tough, and throw in addiction and diabetes, and you've got your hands full. You're an awesome mom, and though he may throw you for a loop, you always land on your feet and come back even stronger.
Luv ya!!
Amy
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: West Palm Beach, Fl
Posts: 142
Winnie,
Like you I function better when angry, but for whatever reason, the emotions seem to have a greater pull. Maybe it is just boys, but my 22 year old has a pie in the sky attitude as well. $50K in debt (student loans, credit cards, etc.,), he gets out of rehab into a 1/2 way house, receives his first paycheck and tells me that he is going to buy a Cadillac (???????????????). He ended up buying more drugs and getting kicked out of the 1/2 way house. They have no clue that life is tough enough without bringing on all the negative stuff on themselves. Have you checked into a military boot camp for him? Their tough and don't put up with any stuff. Sure he will be mad as heck, but alive. I wish you all the best.
Like you I function better when angry, but for whatever reason, the emotions seem to have a greater pull. Maybe it is just boys, but my 22 year old has a pie in the sky attitude as well. $50K in debt (student loans, credit cards, etc.,), he gets out of rehab into a 1/2 way house, receives his first paycheck and tells me that he is going to buy a Cadillac (???????????????). He ended up buying more drugs and getting kicked out of the 1/2 way house. They have no clue that life is tough enough without bringing on all the negative stuff on themselves. Have you checked into a military boot camp for him? Their tough and don't put up with any stuff. Sure he will be mad as heck, but alive. I wish you all the best.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Originally Posted by helpformyson
Have you checked into a military boot camp for him? Their tough and don't put up with any stuff. Sure he will be mad as heck, but alive.
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Originally Posted by winnie12
How do you do that when they are right in front of you? i dont mean that sarcastically - i try to ignore him but every now and then after you hold it in so long you just blow. I realize at those times that I have a lot of anger in me from what's happened this last couple of years. i did leave early and he knew i was upset. i think he enjoys getting a rise out of me - it was almost like he was teasing me.
The more I let go of trying to control her, the less often she bothers to push the buttons. Funny how this worked out.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Winnie, alcoholics/addicts love all attention on themselves, and will do anything to keep the drama/dysfunctional cycle going on. Sorry but things have changed and Winnie isn't entering into it anymore!!!!
You did the first right step and walked away the other day Winnie, and you may need to do this a few more times before he gets the picture.
Mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
(This takes lots of practice...BTW)
I feel statements, such as....... "I feel angry..... "I feel frustrated..... "I feel sad that I'm going to have to walk away from this visit today, I hope the next one is more respectful, and peaceable."
Best to you, I know how difficult change is....but somebodies gotta do it.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Huggs and smiles,
NH7
You did the first right step and walked away the other day Winnie, and you may need to do this a few more times before he gets the picture.
Mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
(This takes lots of practice...BTW)
I feel statements, such as....... "I feel angry..... "I feel frustrated..... "I feel sad that I'm going to have to walk away from this visit today, I hope the next one is more respectful, and peaceable."
Best to you, I know how difficult change is....but somebodies gotta do it.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Huggs and smiles,
NH7
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Winnie I Pray your sticking to your guns......I sware I was your kid, after 8 years in prison 3 violent as hel! relationships stabbed 9 times broken hip and pelvic bones burrying one child and now burrying two more fighting cancer for the third time having numerious body parts removed I can honestly sit down and look you dead in your eyes and tell you that it was all from drugs and booze and diabeties........I started drinking and drugging when I was 13 I am now about to turn 39 I have been clean now for 640 days today.......I cannot say I have my health, next week they are removing part of my pancreus, liver, bladder( possiably all of it) and a few other bits (ie my stomache) and pieces ( a full hysterectomy) diabeties is hard enough it is a prison unto its own but add the drugs and drinking with it then the depression and wanting to be an adult ect ect....it is like watching a train wreck that you just cant stop starring at.......I wish my mother had had your strength, in our relationship I was the boss.....it landed me in prison when I was just 16........I won't lie. I needed my as! blistered big time and then locked in the house some........I had too much freedom..............Good Luck with everything that you decide to do and just remember what I said about my mom.....if she had only been harder........or maybe if I had only been stronger....................btw it was my mother that finally turned me in to the police that sent me to prison.......today you can ask anyone......my mom is my best friend, until just recently I lived right next door to her. We talk 6 or 7 times a day, we now live more than 300 miles apart.......guess what I am trying to say is as kids we sometimes hate the tough love THEN but appreciate it so much more when we are adults.....
Love,
Pamm
Love,
Pamm
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WK - thank you for sharing your story with me, it really meant a lot. People always say "well at least you have your health." you and i know how true that is. Everything is harder when your health is bad. I am watching a train wreck. I saw a picture yesterday of this little broken down shack in a field - a huge tornado was headed directly for it. The first thing that entered my mind is this is my son right now.
I hope that everything goes smoothly with your surgery next week. I'll keep you in my prayers.
I hope that everything goes smoothly with your surgery next week. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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