Nichole78

First off, this is not about my brother who is the reason i joined this site, he is actually clean almost 6 months now (in jail after rehab) and wants to do something with his life when he is done with his time...........This is about my relationship......


This is very hard for me to write and to put into words, my mind is going all over the place so please bare with me and im sorry if it doesnt all make sense, my mind is racing.
My Bf & I have been together 2.5 yrs, we have a beautiful 14 month old son together ( if it wasnt for him i would of left a long time ago) My bf had a very hard childhood, lots of abuse and abandonment issues........I didnt find out until well into the relationship when I found out what most of what he told me about his life was lies........i was pregnant so I stayed. He always smoked pot......not a huge deal to me but not something im into or condone.....then he found out that someone in my family took perscription pills Percosets and that person sells them.......SO he bought some here and there for back pain OK fine once in awhile then the pain got worse and he was getting more, and more, and more. come to find out he had a kidney stone the size of a golf ball so that was true, he was in pain........In Oct he had that taken care of and since he does get small stones but hes still taking the pills........he will call me from work and ask me to call and see if there is any and I do .......I do it because when he takes those it makes him the person I thought he was.......kind, funny, playful......when he doesnt take them he is just miserable, rude, not the kid of person i want to deal with so thats how i enable him and i know its not ok........i am not happy in this relationshio but i stay and i cant figure out why....I know he doesnt give me anything I want or need but i still deal with him and let him stay here........He says hes not addicted and its for pain. he doesnt go through withdrawls but he can take 30mg at a time and hes not afraid to spend his last dollar on them even when bills arnt pain........maybe he likes them more then he should, i dont know if its that or if hes an addict......his family told me he had a problem with pills when he was younger, i believe it, he denys it..........I dont know how to let go, I love him but i dont love my life with him and i certainly dont want to live my whole life with someone who has to take someone to make them fun to be around.........I need you guys now please help!!!

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

You can start helping yourself by reading the stickies, the threads above the solid blue line in this forum.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

kj3880

Sweetie
I was in the same situation after spinal surgery two years ago. Drug addicted. He's an addict, just as surely as if he was shooting heroin. Those pain pills have opiates, and are very similar to heroin chemically. It is purely the devil to get off of it. I recommend to him that he go to a qualified addictionologist (type of doc that deals with addiction) and tell on himself. He can find one on line. I myself had to go on a suboxone regimen to get off of opiates and for pain management. I also joined NA and I still attend almost daily, even though I'm almost clean a year now.

He will only get clean when he decides to. You can read him this information, but you can't do it for him. You are going to need Alanon or Naranon meetings for your own sanity. Dealing with a live-in b/f and father of your child is different than dealing with a sibling or close friend. You can very well lose your mind.

I was involved with an addict, and I had to let him go when he couldn't stop using. I gave him an ultimatum and I stuck to it. It's better to be alone than deal with this nightmare.

If your bf continues to use, it's only a matter of time until he finds heroin, which is where perc and oxy addicts go when the pills run out, if he hasn't already tried it.

Can you get your hands on the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty?

Love,
KJ

Nichole78

he hasnt done heroin yet,,,,,my brother is a heroin addict actually and it started with pills for him too........My bf is convinced there is NO problem, he swallows his pills doesnt snort them and only takes them once and day when they are around, thats why he doesnt think there is a problem, but i see it as one when you want a 30mg percoset when you can have a 10mg one....i tell him hes messed up and he says hes not messed up........im not gonna win this battle i know im not but how do i let go?? I NEED to let go for my son and myself

kj3880

You could start by reading some of the stickies and that book, above. And seek out some of the meetings for you. It's a process for most of us.

KJ