Update On Where I'm At
 

I haven't been on SR for a couple of weeks. My AS is still in jail & I haven't been to see him yet. After I wrote him about 2 mts ago he never answered me so I figured he was mad at what I had to say. Now he's writing to my parents wondering why I haven't written. So today I wrote him a letter.
I told him why I stopped writing & told him every year he stays like this it gets harder & harder for me to deal with it. I hate going to see him cuz it breaks my heart to see him like this. I told him to stay & max out his time, then find a half way house, NA mtgs, a sponsor & a job & when he is clean for 6 mts then call his family. I told him we were all tired of his behaviour & that actions speak louder than words, if he is serious about changing his life to do it by himself then call us. We are sick & tired of hearing he has changed, of giving him help yet again, then he does the same old thing.
He had the nerve to ask my dad to write the judge a letter saying my dad needs his help at home. My dad & mom do not want him there cuz they do not trust him. I told him to prove himself first.

Oh my gosh, can I tell you how proud I am of you, dear?! I hear a beautiful lady standing up for herself, saying enough is enough, and I am just grinning from ear to ear for you!

:ghug :ghug :ghug

Thanks Devon. Yes I have most definitely had enough.............................he is now 42, if he is really serious he will do it for himself, then call us.

Good job. I know its hard, but tough love from my folks is what helped me get clean.

Rozied you were brilliant!!!

Rozied
You should be very proud of yourself.
:Val004:
It was tough love from both my children that made me finally see I had a problem and sought help. They love me today and are proud of the mom I am becoming again.

Wow, how hard it is to be that strong. Sending hugs and support, you did good.:c011:

Good for you Rozied. It is never too late to stand up for yourself or for your son to find recovery. Hugs, Marle

Hi rozied, First of all. I'm sorry your under this stress but you seem to be coming with grips at what your feeling and how to express it to your son. I agree with everything you said and I hope if the occasion arrives I can be the same. I know now I could~~but walking in the shoes is different. Stay strong and good for you. Still, my heart does a little tug when I think of all the situations our addicts put us in. But being strong and backing away is the only way they will see the light and hopefully get on with thier lives.....in a good way (hopefully)))) Hugs and smiles, Bonnie

:c011:Good Job!!!! So wonderful to see you stand up for yourself and put his life in his hands.

Hugs,
Chris

Now that I've gotten to this point it seems easy. After 8 yrs of a revolving door at the jail I had enough ( plus 12 yrs before that using )
If he is serious he has to prove it by himself.

((((Rozied)))

I am so dang proud of you. As a mama, I know that this didn`t come easy, that you had to do a lot of work and wear yourself out first...but it comes, it always does, if we just keep taking one baby step at a time. And it helped me to have a bunch of people walking with me, even if we walked funny.

Prayers for your boy, Rozied, this may just be a turning point for him too. And whether it is or not, you and your folks no longer have to live in that hell called addiction.

Big Proud Mama-To-Mama Hugs :ghug3

Gosh Rozied:

I have migrated to where you are at. It seems like my journey with AS has been shock to fear to offering help to keeping lines of communication open to not being available by avoiding phone, knocks at door, etc. to now calling him and straight out telling him he needs to stay away from me because he is a thief and feels justified taking stuff from my home (whether it's an orange or a dollar bill), that i don't want him here when his adult sibs are visiting (because he tries to bum money from them or just straight out lifts their dollar bills that they just lay down somewhere) , that i don't want him to put my phone number on job applications (that i will not take those messages and pass them on to him), that he needs to carry on his life without me in the picture.

Thanks for your sharing.

It took me many yrs to get to his point. I have my own life. I am NOT an extension of my children. Once they are of age it is up to them to take care of themselves. Why should I put myself through the pain of visiting when nothing ever changes. To see your child like that just breaks your heart BUT I have to remember before he was even my son he was a child of God's with his own soul, and he is a grown man with children of his own. He is the only one responsible for his life & how it goes. Thank you all for the support. I have SR in my prayers everyday.

Hi Rozie!!

The only thing we can changes is ourself, and when that changes everything else has to change~!

As hard as this is there is hope!!

praying for you and yours,
susan

((Rozied)))

I am so PROUD of you!!!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Thans Amy, It was a long time coming!!!

i am so proud of you too. it has been a long time coming. we both took baby steps. after i finally let go i feel so much better. i have more energy. hugs coming your way. prayers for you both.

Thanks Hope Hugh hugs for you too!

(((Rozied)))

I could get mad at myself, over the DECADES it took me to "get it" that being a codie just didn't help anyone, but I choose to look at it as lessons I needed to learn, to get where I am today. Obviously, I still have a few lessons to learn, because I still slip, but at least, today, I don't stay stuck there:)

Hugs and prayers!

Amy