frankly

You've been there, right. You reach the point where you feel trapped, no escape, no options, everything that can go wrong, does. You are stressed so bad that you don't eat, or constantly eat. You can't get a good nights sleep because you just can't stop thinking about the latest "crisis" and what you can do, should have done, wished you could do. You cry, sometimes for no apparent reason, except maybe your life in general. You have helped everyone, from your kids, your parents, your spouse, your friends & co workers. You are the go to person, you know, the one everyone leans on and looks to for answers. The Rock.

Then one day, it just hits you. You've been giving so much of yourself to others, that there just isn't anything left. You are so tired that you just want to close your eyes and make it all go away. You've cried so many tears, that now instead of sad, you get angry when things don't go the way they should. You may even invision choking that special person instead of hugging them.

You just don't like who you've become and where your life has ended up. Do you even recoginize yourself any more? Where did the laughter go? Where did the fun go? What the heck happened?

The bills, the kids, the house, the car, the job, the in-laws, the parents, the friends, the brother, the sister....they all have a piece of you and quite franky there is nothing left of you to go around, but you are the stable one, the mature one, the only one that can hold it all togeather, but you still feel it slipping away, sliding through that death grip no matter how hard you try to hang on.

Had enough?

OK, now what? You see the problem, where do you start?

Well now, this is just me and what I learned to do. My qualifications are having a Masters in Stress, a Minor in self destruction, and a desire to just make them and "it" just all go away. So who do I start with first.......

ME

I can't control those other bozos. I can't control the economy, my boss, my bill collectors, car engine. I shure as heck can't control that signifigant person in my life that seems to bring the most pressure down on my head. But by gosh, I can control ME.

I can choose to look at what I do have vs. what I don't have. I can choose to see past all the bad, and take an inventory of all the good in my life. I can choose to put myself at the top of the list of things to take care of. I can even choose to smile even in the midst of chaos. I can choose to make a plan, which bills to pay and if I can't pay them all, I can choose to accept that and know that I'm doing everything I can. The world isn't going to come to a screaching halt and my health is more important than anything else.

Wow, what a concept, I am more important. I am worth taking care of. I deserve a break from all that stress. I deserve to smile, maybe even laugh. I deserve a vacation from it all.

And so do you.

I know, I know, I already hear some of you throwing up those excuses...I can't because I have to ____________. But so and so needs my help. Gotta do _________ today, I just don't have the time or the energy, maybe tomorrow.

Well guys and gals, tomorrow is here, right now, today. It is time to make a choice, what will the rest of my life be like?

I choose to appreciate myself, to look at the simple things in my life, that baby I get to hold, that sunset or sunrise with that warm cup of coffee, that flower that just bloomed in the yard, and yes, even that broken step or leaking roof on my house, I can choose to look at it and thank God that I have it, because that means I have a roof over my head.

I choose to put myself on the list of important things in life.

What do you choose?

Love and Hugs to All
B

Serenity Bound

Great post. I try to start & end each day with gratitude. Still haven't embraced the idea of putting ME first, but I'm working on it.

winnie12

I agree with you and have certainly felt this way a lot. There is one other thing that i have learned and that is I can ask for help from others. We get so used to being the go to person that we dont give ourselves permission to ask others for help. Once i finally asked for help i found many of these people in my life were more than willing to come to my aid. As one friend told me "you have given so much to others that i want to help you now." It was humbling for me and my pride took a serious blow but i think that was a huge lesson i was supposed to learn.

frankly

Serenity - I had a hard time with that too. But I figured, if I'm not healthy and happy, then anything I have to give to anyone, is just pretend.

Winnie - excellent point. We give and give, but when it comes to accepting something from another, we feel guilty. There is no shame in asking for help or accepting it. We've just conditioned ourselves to be that "rock".

frankly

Decaf or Regular Anvilhead?

cessy68

Awwwwww, that is awesome. THankyou sooooooooo much for that post.

Yesterday, I found myself seated on the floor in my bathroom having a long - silent- cry. Had my face in my hands, weeping oh so quietly --- saying "why"...."I can't do anymore." "the bills keep comming".... "where am I?" "I'm so damn tired". "I hate my boss and don't want to go to work"..............

Then this little voice creeped back into my head, saying...."come on girl, come on. Get your Irish fight up.... come on girl.... nothing will hold you down. get up, get up, get up."

I wiped my eyes, and realized something very profound. I'M actually OK... with having some bills, it's not the end of the world. (like you said). I lost my big paying job because of the economy.... BUT I'm working. MY kids have been aweful self absorbed 'brats' lately, BUT they are healthy and happy kids.

I realized the abf influences my OWN THOUGHTS OF MYSELF. I feel If I'm NOT PERFECT then I beat myself up because of what 'he' may think.

I'm careing about what he and others think of me, RATHER than How I feel about ME.

SO.... I'm done.

I'm going to go back to being 'grateful'. Just like you said. Right now- I'm going to pour a nice hot cup of 'joe' (regular ) and be thankful. For my life.

Thank you so much for that post. I intend to read- and re-read. At least at this MOMENT... you sent me some peace.

Love,
cessy

Hammerhead

Thank you frankly... nice post...you helped me get in touch with my inner peace.:ghug3

frankly

((cessey))

When you are surrounded by negative things, it is real easy to be overcome with them. The good news is that once you start doing positive things for yourself, giving yourself permission to breath, then the negative things don't seem as important. You grab on to that Irish in you, don't just fight....LIVE. Grab that cup of joe and find a quite peaceful park somewhere, or even a spot in your back yard if you have one, tell the kids that if they bother you they will eat spinich and lima beans for a month, give youself at least an hour to relax. And smile girl, today is a beautiful day, and you are a beautiful person.

B

frankly

See anvilhead just thinking about something so decadent makes me smile. (-: Yum.

hammerhead - Hugs.

cessy68

Thankyou, thankyou. and Thankyou. (wish my kids were young enough to bribe w/ food.... lol.) Seeing as they are teenagers, I'd have to say.... "hey if you don't give me an hour of peace, I'm going to pad lock the fridge... "

It helps so much to hear 'positive' feedback from someone. I hope all is well and peaceful in your world also.

Is that your baby in the pic? Ah, the calm of holding a baby.... it's been alot of years for me. God bless you and the little one......
cessy

winnie12

Cessy, teenagers will leave you alone if everytime they come ask you for something or start whining you ask them to do a chore. next thing you know they are kinda quiet and dont pester you. i know its silly but it works when i need some quiet time alone.

frankly

It's my grandbaby, Jordan, my miricle child. If you have teenagers, then grandbabies probably want be too far off. (-: Now, threats for teens - I'll shut off the computer, cancel your car insurance- heck, I'll sell your car (if they have one), you will have no new clothes until you are an adult, that cell phone you have will be cancelled, I'll start hanging out with you and all your friends, we'll be best buds son (or daughter) you get the drift.

cessy68

lol..... winnie.... lol frankly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are great answers.... the cell phone threat causes more aggrivation than its worth!!!

The chore thing really gets to mine--- they are so dang spoiled, I do everything for them!! (now theres the codie in me lol )

Awww, grandbabies, I can't wait, but my daughter (the oldest) 19..... she had better darn wait another 10 yrs!!!

take care!!
Love,
cessy

winnie12

Cessy chores are a way of teaching them how to take care of themselves later. when my kids want to do something they have to have their chores done. i can always tell when my son wants me to drive him somewhere because he'll go clean the kitchen first and then come ask me. we're their mom's not their slaves. i do things for the family and they do things for the family. if i have to spend my entire day cleaning the house then i have no time to drive them places or if they want a friend to come over the house has to be reasonably clean. it works well once they understand

Lost83

Great post, I needed that today!

BBD

Super wonderful post. I'm sure we all fit into there somewhere. I did~~~until I woke up and smelled that wonderful coffee your all handing around. Jusat wanted you all to know that every word here put a smaile on my face....have a good one!! Bonnie

frankly

BBD - your avatar says it all, I love it.

((Lost))

greeteachday

I choose to walk with you, Frankly...Thanks for leading the way, my dear friend.