meemur603

Hi everyone, I'm so happy I found this site. I started dating an addict when i was 17 yrs old (I did not know he was an addict until much later, I was young and clueless) We stayed together and I was so hopeful for great recovery after he went away to rehab...

He ended up relapsing several time because he was not ready to do what he needed to do for his recovery and we broke up (we were together 3 years through his ups and downs)...

Now I am 23 yrs old, I have been in other relationships and tried to hard to get over my ex boyfriend, but I have never found a love like I had for him. He has now been clean over a year, he goes to outpatient programs, meetings, and does so much for his recovery.

I know it may sound weak to some people, but we have talked about dating again. I know I probably sound young and naive but I want to finally be part of his life while he is clean! I want the chance to be with him now that he is doing so well... I know he could relapse again though, and we should probably go to counseling

I am young and yes i have my life ahead of me but i want to try and have him be part of it... a lot has happened to me in life in my short 23 years and i am tired of wasting the time not being with this person i love... does anyone have any advice?? do you think it is a completely bad and hopeless situation??

meemur603

please reply if you have any advice, please

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

Did his sponsor offer any input on the subject?

meemur603

thats a good idea i didn't think of that! i am thinking about going with him to therapy sessions at the outpatient program he is involved with.

outtolunch

Imposing yourself into the process is about filling a void within you, making you feel a part of it, that you can make a difference. It's his recovery. He owns it. He has to work it. It's his choice.

Just curious.....Is he going to school ? Is he working? Does he live at home? Is he supporting himself? Does he have his own car? Does he have insurance he pays for? Is he useful? Does he drink alcohol?

mooselips

Does he say nice things to you?
Does he appreciate you?
Does he do things for you?

Does he have goals in his life?
Is he kind to animals?
Does he get along with his mother?

Does he have good family relationships?
Has he made amends to people he has harmed?

Does he respect you?
Does he treat you like a Queen?
Does he love you for who you are?

Will he be there for you when times get tough?
Are you the most important person in his life?

hope213

welcome to S.R. it sounds good that he has been clean for a year. i hope he makes it the rest of his life. there is no cure for an addict but as long as he is working his program he has a great chance. he is lucky to have you in his life. remember the 3c's. you did not CAUSE it, you can not CONTROL it, & you can not CURE it. get in a program for yourself & keep coming back here. hugs & prayers,