justtired

Thank you for this. I wonder if I can download as a ringtone!

justtired

I live in NE WI and I'm traveling to Oklahoma City. So it'll take about 15 hours. I'm staying at my brother's the night before who lives an hour south so it will take about 14 hours. Not so bad. Guess my dad is more old-fashioned than I realized!

justtired

Okay, so I thought I was in the clear for a peaceful night last night. It got to be after 9:00 and abf hadn't talked to me at all. Kind of looked crabby at me when I handed him the phone at one point and that was it. So, since I was so tired from the night before, I layed down and decided that when I fell asleep I fell asleep.

Then I get "so you're just going to sleep? I thought after last night we'd at least talk" I told him that HE was IGNORING ME! I would have been happy to talk to him all night. He told me that he's never seen "that side" of me before. That I was acting arrogant and didn't care about his feelings. And, something he's done before that is SO irritating... he tells me that I'm smiling. I don't know if when I get frustrated my lips purse or something because he'll say, "look at you. I'm upset and you're just sitting there smiling". ARGH!!!

But, overall I think I did better. He kept talking and since I didn't have it in me to argue or defend, I just ignored him. He didn't take kindly to that, but I just couldn't take it last night. He got up and went into the kitchen. Don't know what the heck he was doing, but I finally got up and went to bed. Then like 10 minutes later he came in and kissed my head and said he loves me. Then, later, he came back in and asked me if it was okay if he came to bed. He apologized and, honestly, I can't remember what else he said since I was half asleep. But it felt good that I didn't argue and defend myself against his accusations. I went to bed, got a good night's rest and HE ended up chilling out and apologizing.

Sunflowers

*hugs* Stand your ground! And I totally agree that this isn't the 1950s anymore! Go.. have fun.. have fun during the drive, after the drive, before the drive.. and next time someone tries to kick you when you're down? Grab their foot and twist!

justtired

LOL. Can you imagine if I was making THAT drive??? I do like WI. Wish the winters were shorter. I'm contemplating staying in OK and not coming back! It's sounding better and better all the time!

longview

When exAH told me those same words, I was thrilled. I knew the/my program was working. He couldn't MAKE me feel bad or guilty. And unless I chose to, I didn't have to. I called my sponsor. It wasn't perfect from that point on, but things got easier and easier with practice.

In a Tailspin

IMHO, there is NO SUCH THING as being *too independent* - - especially when you'rei n a relationship with an active addict. Being less independent would, but definition, require being more *dependent*. Does he really expect you to depend on him - - - for ANYTHING?!? When I was with my xabf, I truly felt that I couldn't depend on him to even put the bills in the mail for fear that $$ would go missing. I couldn't depend on him to do the frickin' dishes while he was unemployed and I was working all day. How could I have possibly depended on him for anything really important? Quite frankly, I'm proud to be an independent woman. It's empowering and a part of my identity that I truly value. Granted, if my independence got to a point that I couldn't engage in a relationship then it could be a problem.......but I (and I think you) am far from swinging to that side of the spectrum.

As for his comments about your "other boyfriend" - - I must say that my xabf used to make similar comments. I have a job that often requires me to go out of state at the last minute with another co-worker (some of which - surprise! - are male) and stay for 2-3 days. He was often convinced that I was having an affair and not really taking these trips. Completely ridiculous. I finally figured out that the more suspicious he was of what I was doing, the more likely it was becasue *HE* was doing something that he shouldn't have been doing - - not becasue there was *anything* wrong with what I was doing.

I hope you have a wonderful trip!! Take some good tunes and enjoy the scenery. I have often found it really gratifying to get some alone time when in a difficult part of a relationship. Turn off your phone, make a *date* with someone to check in at certain times so they don't worry, but other than that - focus on you and forget about him. You deserve it!!
:ghug3

Serenity Bound

I'm imagining Scarlett taking a peaceful road trip. And it just keeps getting better & better. Enjoy the drive, but please make sure your hoops don't fly out the window.

Have fun!!! You deserve it!