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Language of Letting Go - March 16 - Removing The Victim

Old 03-15-2009, 03:46 AM
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Ann
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Language of Letting Go - March 16 - Removing The Victim

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Removing the Victim

Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?

The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.

It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.

Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.


From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Old 03-15-2009, 03:48 AM
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When I got serious about my recovery and began "living" my program, I took a giant step out of the problem and into the solution.

I was no longer a victim but instead a survivor who was ready to move forward with my life. How freeing that was.

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Old 03-15-2009, 04:30 AM
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Awesome post! I almost fell out of my chair!
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Old 03-15-2009, 07:41 AM
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Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?
Pastor was just talking about this in church last night. He was talking about how people have become so desensitized. Many just don't care anymore. I don't think its because they are less compassionate about themselves. I think it's become a self-centered culture in many ways. It's important to love our neighbor as ourselves, but being lovers of ourselves has gone to a self-centered extreme.
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Old 03-15-2009, 04:28 PM
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it's funny- my therapist believes the only way one can 'heal' themselves, is to treat YOURSELF with compassion.....

That is loving behavior, treating yourself with compassion.... and others.

That is one area that I work on alot. I treat others with compassion, and sometimes catch myself beating myself up. Not useful. Now I at least catch myself by saying..."hey, so things aren't perfect today, but you're making progress... keep pushing forward..." (things of that nature.)

Thankyou for that post..... It reminded me today, that the first person that needs to be kind to me is ME!
Thx,
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