Language of Letting Go - March 16 - Removing The Victim
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - March 16 - Removing The Victim
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Removing the Victim
Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?
The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.
It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.
Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Removing the Victim
Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?
The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.
It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.
Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
When I got serious about my recovery and began "living" my program, I took a giant step out of the problem and into the solution.
I was no longer a victim but instead a survivor who was ready to move forward with my life. How freeing that was.
Hugs
I was no longer a victim but instead a survivor who was ready to move forward with my life. How freeing that was.
Hugs
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
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Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
it's funny- my therapist believes the only way one can 'heal' themselves, is to treat YOURSELF with compassion.....
That is loving behavior, treating yourself with compassion.... and others.
That is one area that I work on alot. I treat others with compassion, and sometimes catch myself beating myself up. Not useful. Now I at least catch myself by saying..."hey, so things aren't perfect today, but you're making progress... keep pushing forward..." (things of that nature.)
Thankyou for that post..... It reminded me today, that the first person that needs to be kind to me is ME!
Thx,
Cess
That is loving behavior, treating yourself with compassion.... and others.
That is one area that I work on alot. I treat others with compassion, and sometimes catch myself beating myself up. Not useful. Now I at least catch myself by saying..."hey, so things aren't perfect today, but you're making progress... keep pushing forward..." (things of that nature.)
Thankyou for that post..... It reminded me today, that the first person that needs to be kind to me is ME!
Thx,
Cess
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